Labor (Help) :'(

So hey everyone, I am having my first baby am 20 and sooo anxious about what labor is going to feel like

am even wondering like how will i know when i've gone into labor without my water breaking...will i be able to tell that am having contractions rather than a normal upset stomach which requires going to the Loo...& all the hospital labor and delivery videos i've been watching is quite scary *hides face*

how was everyones experience, did you all instantly know you was in labor or having contractions

without your water breaking.


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13 Replies

  • Try not to worry about it. I was really nervous with my second as I was induced with the first so was in hospital when I had him. You will know when contractions start you will know. They do recommend things like have a bath or go for a walk as it helps. With my second I only had gas and air on the first I had pethadine. If I ever had another one I would have more pain relief. My babies were both born front to back which is more difficult. It's wasn't an enjoyable experience for me but it's different for everyone.

    Maybe discuss with your midwife how you feel she may be able to put your mind at rest a bit. For me worry always makes things a great deal worse.

  • I was worried with my first, then I did a hypnobirthing course and it made me really confident about it as I felt like I knew what I was doing. You will know when contractions start as your stomach muscles will go really tight and hard. Hang around at home for as long as you can as LC1982 says go for a walk and have a warm bath, if you feel they're painful you can take paracetamol to take the edge off, but I just did the breathing exercises I'd been taught.

    I had my first with just gas and air and refused to use that when it got to the pushing stage, I needed to focus on pushing baby out. Both my babies were back to back which I think LC1982 meant when she said they were more difficult, the optimum position is baby's front to your back head down chin on chest but obviously you have little control over baby's positioning. I spent quite a bit of time on my hands and knees cleaning the kitchen floor to try and encourage my babies into the right position.

    Definitely talk to your midwife. Have you signed up for any antenatal classes? Nct do good ones.

    Ina May Gaskin is pro natural birth and has made some videos which you could google. Also Google hypnobirthing videos of births and watch some of them. Childbirth shouldn't be feared, it is a natural. You'll be great.

  • Thank you, & I hope soo am just scared of the pain x_x

  • Borrow Marie Mongan's hypnobirthing book from the library, read and learn the breathing techniques. It doesn't talk about pain in birthing or contractions but uses other words like surges and you don't push, you breath down. The breathing techniques were amazing. I used gas and air which was brilliant. There are lots of drugs which you should research to find out what you would like to use if you can, remembering birth is usually out of your control as babies and your body don't always do things the way you hope/would like them to. My second birth, my baby was really stuck and when I got to hospital they told me I should have a spinal block (they were preparing me for a c-section I think) and they would try with forceps. The spinal block was amazing at blocking out all the pain but it meant when they told me to push I had no sensation to push against and really struggled to do it. I got it in the end and they pulled him out with forceps but it was much easier first time when I could feel the contractions. Also the spinal block made me really sick afterwards, I couldn't keep anything down and it took most of the morning to get the sensation back in my lower body. I couldn't get out of bed to pick my baby up so had to ring the bell and wait for a nurse every time he cried for a feed or nappy change. So there's pros and cons to having drugs.

    You really, honestly forget the pain afterwards, it's such a relatively short part of your life, if you get pregnant you have to get the baby out somehow, so it's inevitable and the reward of having your very own squishy baby in your arms is worth every second. I personally found the pain of the stitches (I had to be cut to help baby out) and haemorrhoids worse after birth, where sitting down or standing up for the first week or so was far worse (cold compress that you can stick in your knickers were a life saver). Also breastfeeding can be a challenge, both my babies were tongue tied so breastfeeding was far more painful than giving birth, but I was determined to do it and once the tie had been cut and we'd worked it out breastfeeding was the most wonderful thing about having a newborn, so find out lots about where you can get support and be prepared to ask for help, it's not always as easy and natural as some make it out to be. You'll be great.

  • hiya - you may wish to read through my posts from 18 months ago in the few days leading up to me giving birth. I was still irrationally worried that I needed a big poo when I arrived at the labour suite and was actually 4cm dilated - however my partner and sister had no doubt that I was in labou from watching me and timing. It can be tricky to know when you're in early stages of labour, but by the time it is established labour you will know - my waters didn't break until they broke them for me and 9.5cm dilated but believe me by that point there was so doubt I was giving birth soon!! I think that when I got to 6cm and I was definitely in the mental stage of a woman in labour. It is very rare for a first time labour to be so quick that you wouldn't know. I was 22 when I had my daughter. please read through my posts as it may provide some insight!! xxx

  • My waters broke. It was obvious it was a lot lol but then it felt like period pains and then they got worse! You will know :) x

  • I very highly recommend reading and listening to the cd 'Effective Birth Preparation' by Maggie Howell. It helped me enormously. Best of luck x

  • thank you i will do that x

  • I used this book and CD too, I highly recommend it! I'm not denying that childbirth is painful but through the breating techniques and trusting my body to do what it needed to do I got through labour with no pain relief just 2 Paracetamol 4hours before my son was born! The joy of using that technique is that you and your baby don't have any after effects in the days after as ther is with some of the drug treatments, infact it can make the baby calmer! Xx

  • I was weirdly not scared, I knew it wasn't going to be nice, but that I would have a gorgeous girl at the end.

    It will be painful, but everyone manages pain differently. I was induced due to starting with preeclampsia, and I had to have diamorphine as I really struggled, but you may just need the gas and air, everyone is different. I just asked that all pain relief be available just incase, and I would do the same again if I have any more children.

    Just keep an open mind, and prepare for at worst a couple of days of horribleness, but focus on the fact you are going to be a mummy!

    You will be fine. When are you due? Xxx

  • Thanks for that i will try and am due in May x

  • i had my first baby at 19 i had not anti-natel classes and worked 14 hours a day right up to the day i was due i was scared too i woke up 3 days after my due date with a pain in my back i knew this was labour straight away i called my mum (even at 4.15 in the morning!) i told her to go back to sleep and call me later i pottered around the house for a wee while my mum rang me at 8.15 i had no more pains untill my mum rang so she said to keep an eye one when they come and how long they lasted. she came round at 10 and hey had pcked up i had had 5 more contractions in the time she called to when she came round. so we called the hospital still i was kinda scared they told me to wait till they were half an hour apart lasting 60 seconds eac but mine never did i had 4 more at half hour preiods but only lasting 30 seconds each so we went to the hospital they examined me by this time they were thick and fast 10-15 minutes apart lasting 45 seconds so they examined me to see if i was dialiated the midwife told me i was 1cm gone as soon as she said that to me my motherly instincts kicked in and i was no longer scared i was the one incontrol and the one jo i had to do was deliver this baby! i had gone from a scared pregnant 19 yr old to a mother to be and a proper adult in one small but very significant sentence! your 1cm dialited! so dont worry when its time you will know and you will become stronger and more ready for it than you ever thought you could be x It was is and always will be the most amazing thing i have ever done x good luck you will be fine xx

  • I don't mean to correct you, but it might be more helpful for funnyface19 to get the right facts. Midwives will ask you fir contractions to be 5 mins apart rather than 10 minutes and at 1cm Dilatation they would send you back home (everything else being normal) 10cm is what the maximm is and 1cm is just the beginning and considered early (latent) phase labour.

    Funnyface19 if it makes you feel better my little one is 6weeks and I would go through labour again for my little bundle. Absolutely worth it. I had an epidural during my cohtractions as they were getting pretty bad when I was about 5cms and that helped.mi then could decide if I wanted any top up which they could give hourly, I didn't have any top for the pushing bit and just used gas and air and it was fine. Not pain free of course but doable. Hehe it felt a bit like needing to have a gigantic poo weighing 7lbs 5 in my case! Best of luck you'll be fine!

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