Is cry it out now only way forward?

Hey ladies,

I feel like recently I've had so many questions as my daughter has done so much this month. She is now 7mths old and has started taking water from a beaker cup, feeding herself finger food, constantly wanting to stand up holding onto our hands and her babbles are more frequent. Our problem at the moment is that she has started her separation anxiety and this is breaking our bedtime routines as she protests everytime I put her in her cot. Shes started acknowledging herself in the mirror, she cries when I walk out of the room (even just to flick the kettle switch) And now at bedtime she will happily fall asleep in my arms in her nursery feeding chair but will wake up as I try to lower her into the cot and then screams Blue murder. Im thinking using the cry it out method but unsure what other options are out there as the sleep training articles ive read seem to be aimed more at babies who wake up more throughout the night and that's not our issue as once my lil girl is asleep she is out for the night until 7/8am. How did other mummys cope with this stage?

As always, thanks in advance xx

9 Replies

Hi gigglysheep,

As far as im aware babies who are between 7 - 9 mths seem to go through a "seperation anxiety" stage as they are now more fully aware of their surroundings & somehow in their heads they think you've gone so far away they may not see again. ( rather cute in a way)

My LO who will be 10 mths old next week seem to just be getting over it now as i used to find it difficult even going to the loo in the middle of the night sometimes without her screaming for me to come back - with this been said do you think it could also be a teething stage your LO could be going through ?

depending on what you know your heart could cope with you could try the "cry it out" method but as i do also have another child (aged 6) i sometimes dont want my little one disturbing him as he also goes back to school next week.

The best way i think i found to help combat it on most occasions was to let my LO fall asleep in my bed for about 30 - 40 minutes whilst i set up her cot bed with some blankets which may feel and smell the same way as my bed lining - she'll definetely get over it in time but afraid it may be a very exhausting wait indeed.


It just depends on what you are comfortable with. I don't really do sleep training at all. My son goes through little stages all the time and I just work through it. But I'm happy to comfort him to sleep and it doesn't bother me. Also if he goes through bouts of waking in the night, I just go with the flow. But that's just what I'm happy to do. I think you need to follow what you are happy seem to know the jist of the sleep techniques and what might be appropriate for Erica, so it's up to you :-)

I am a mother of three 18, 7 and 3. I have to say that with the first and last, I let them fall asleep in my bed and then put them in their beds after 30 minutes and that worked as when they are ready then they will go to their own bed. The middle child, I tried sleep training following Super Nanny's advice and let her cry for at least a week or two until she got used to it. It was too stressful and don't think I would do it again. Choose what is best for you and your family. Being a parent is the most difficult job in the world, sometimes you have to make difficult decisions. I am expecting now and still let the 3 year old fall asleep in our bed, she wakes up in her bed and now is starting to realise that she is grown up, occasionally she goes by herself. I think there is no right or wrong, we are all different. Most kids will soon realise that they are grown and make the transition without and major hiccups.

We did the training where you stay in the room with them and provide regular but not constant reassurance. Gradually move further away and with less frequent reassurance over the nights you do it. If you want detail of how we did it, pm me. It took us 3 hours 1st night, 18 mins the 2nd and 3 mins the 3rd. He's a much happier baby now he's well rested.

We did cry it out with my oldest when he was 6 months old. He would wake when being put in his cot and scream blue murder cos he wanted to sleep in my arms. He didn't sleep very well at all though and no matter what else we tried it was impossible to get him into a routine till we did this method. It was hard but it only took a week or two till he was sleeping in his cot without any problems. We did cry it out cos we really needed the routine, he would only sleep for short bursts, no more than 20 mins then he'd scream for hours then repeat the cycle, I reached breaking point nothing else worked.

I found that letting him fall asleep in my arms added to the problem cos they need too learn how to get themselves to sleep and that when they are put in the cot its time for sleep. Nor did I want to fall into the trap of letting him sleep in my bed after growing up and not being able to sleep on my own till I was in my late teens cos I always slept in my mums bed. For me one of the most important things to teach them was to be able to sleep on their own, it wasn't easy getting their though.

It sounds like your LO just needs reassurance, have you tried the method where you sit by the cot without giving them any attention or looking at them so they know your there and gradually move further away? Reading my LO a story in his cot before saying goodnight also helped him to settle. Go with what feels right to you xx

I don't quite understand why you want to do CIO since your LO sleeps through anyway? It's probably just a stage she's going through and sounds like she needs reassurance. My little girl falls asleep in my arms which I'm happy with - I love creating memories with her, singing her lullabies etc. she doesn't sleep through yet at 12 months but a lot of babies don't at that age so I'm not worried. I decided against sleep training and let Mother Nature take care of it - all humans sleep eventually lol! You need to choose what's right for you but in my opinion CIO is a last resort for mothers who are truly at the end of their tether.

Just want to recommend "the no-cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley". Been following the advice for 4 nights and it has worked amazingly so far!! Little boy (13mnths) struggles to get to sleep without being fed and generally startles awake when i put him him in his cot. This has shorten the time it takes and has been no tears so far! Excited to work through the ideas :-D x

Intrigued by this. I will Google it. Thank u xx

Thank u ladies. I will look through and see what looks like the best option for erica. She isn't crying as much but still startles when going into her cot. I think she loves being independent in some areas but when it comes to being alone she gets frightened or scared and I've mis interpreted it as needing sleep training. Thank u all for replying as it helps build the knowledge bank. Love u all xx

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