Hi all! I hope you're all still ok and that your bumps and babies are doing well!! I finally have my little bundle of joy with me here in this world!!! As you might recall, I was due a c-section last Thursday as Emily had turned round into breech at the last minute... When I went to my midwife appointment last Tuesday, they couldn't figure out if she was still breeched and i left feeling very upset not knowing what was what anymore. Well of course that same evening, contractions started getting regular and 10 minutes apart so I went to bed hoping they would go away (and knowing they wouldn't) until, at 2.30 I woke my partner up and told him we had to go to hospital. I wasn't in agony at that point but had been told not to let labour settle in if I was due a c-section. When we got to hospital, they put me on the monitor and the midwife had a little feel... "mmmm" she said. She went and got the scan machine and yes, you've guessed it, she confirmed that the little monkey inside me had turned back round AGAIN!!! She was now head down so /i was sent home and completely broke down. I could not stop crying, I hated my baby for playing yet another trick on me, for all my plans of meeting her on Thursday rto fall through, I was thinking about my mum who had her plane ticket to come and see her and help me and the posibility that she might come and meet a bump and more than anything, I was SO SCARED of having to go through labour and suffer again like I had for my other two... I was unconsolable and my poor partner didn't know what to do. Anyway, I went back to bed but was woken by the worst pain ever. I started timing these lot of contraciotns and they were 4 minutes apart so I knew then. By that time it was 7 o'clock and time for my kids to get up for school so I prepared the packed lunches and gave them breakfast while holding on to the worktop in pain every 4 minutes, it was quite a sight. The kids didn't know what the hell was going on. After my partner dropped my boy off at school, we went back to the hospital. I was actually 2-3 cms dilated already so they ran me a bath and allowed me to stay at hospital although not in established labour because it was my third. After that, it's all a blur really. I was given some diamorphine which completely disagreed with me and there I was, for hours on end, half bouncing on a ball, half asleep on the bed, delirious and unable to open my eyes, I was given gas and air once in established labour and I coped with that for hours on end, begging for the diamorphine to wear off but it never did. My partner was being so calm and collected , I just remember him playing tetris on his phone and telling me words of encouragement ha ha. Eventually, I begged for an epidural as I couldn't take the pain anymore, by which point it was 6 o'clock at night but it turned out that I was fully dilated anyway!!! I was moved to a different room for the epidural but it was too late. After that I remember feeling so distressed because I couldn't keep my eyes open, my contractions were slowing but I was supposed to be pushing and finding the energy God knows where fom!!! That's when my partner took over and really supported me and encouraged me, I couldn't have done it without him because I had lost all hope of being able to cope with this or give birth to my daughter as I just wanted to cry and sleep. The midwife in charge told my partner "7.20!, she'll be here at 7.20!" to which he laughed but I didn't even dare ask what time it was! Imagine if it was only 6.30 or something, I would have given up!! Anyway, there we were in that enormous room which contained a birthing pool and all sorts of beds and weird instruments, the lights were flickering because of the storm outside, the blinds were being sucked in and out of the opoened window, the wind was howling and the midwife was shouting "PUSH!" and finally, at 7.31, Emily was born, I felt her slip out of me and there she was, I opened my eyes to the most beautiful sight ever, at last!! She did tear me to shreds on the way out and I spent ages being sewn back together but it didn't matter, I was holding her against my skin, she felt warm and slimy but my God, so beautiful!! I couldn't stop talking to her in French (my mother tongue) and she was listening... She was passed over to my overhwelmed partner and he did skin to skin with her too, sitting in a chair and looking at them filled me with joy...
After all this, I'm glad my pregnancy is over, i really hated it and the birth was no better but so , so worth it it's unreal. Back at home and we're settling down fine. My kids lover her to bits and have just interrupted me whilst writing this because they have dropped by to see her (they are withmy ex, their dad, until Wednesday). The breastfeeding, another pet hate of mine, is going well so far although I do get frustrated at being treated like a dummy at times but I keep thinking about this amazing journey we have had together, me and Emily and about this birth and about the fact that she was so cosy inside of me and is now in this big wild world and I can't help but love her with all my heart and forgive her for not letting me sleep. We have been out already and I feel so proud pushing her in the pram, holding on to my partner, it's amazing.
Right, that's it from me for now, I want to thank you all for being so amazing on this forum and so helpful, I will no doubt keep coming on here to help pregant ladies as well as I can and to find much needed advice.
Time to go and get my cheeky little angel from the pram where she fell asleep to feed her xx