Any advice on birth plans?

Been to midwife today. Not seeing her for two weeks now (unless baby decides to arrive in mean time) by which time will be 40wks. Haven't done a birth plan yet, and really not sure what to put in it. She said plan for if everything was perfect and how you dream, but don't be super set in stone. What's wrong with will see how do on minimal pain relief (eg gas and air) and the alternate labour positions been given and take the advice we're given on the day? Esp as no one seems to get their birth plan anyway? She said was more for OHs benefit so he knows what I want, which suppose makes sense. Suggested the pool but when said I couldn't get out bath without my OH said well maybe not then. You ever have one of those days when you just feel suddenly unprepared!!! x

7 Replies

  • The pool is alot bigger than a Bath and ur able to move around more I would put it if that's what ur thinking, also what u said about going with the flow sounds good to me :)

  • I'm not sure about pool, midwife seemed to change her mind. will maybe see what OH thinks, no way could get out myself. Most days I'm struggling to get out of a chair and there's been 3 days I've not worn socks cos just couldn't get to my foot. Know really need to do it, but not seeing anaesthetist til next thurs (assuming baby hasn't arrived - though as was giving the midwife abuse when she was trying to listen to heart beat really don't think is ready to come yet) and I know mostly be taking advice on the day because that's what we've had to do all along. Suppose gives us chance to make sure no one else in delivery room. On plus side my blood pressure is managing a record high at mo of being 119/70 so that's good x

  • Sounds fine - it's best to focus on the things you feel really strongly about and there's nothing wrong if there isn't anything very much which you do feel strongly about. Stick with your instincts, there's no need to make an elaborate plan. If you think you might want to try the pool stick it in anyway as you are less likely to get a go (depending on how many the unit has) if you mention it later on, if you find it isn't for you, you can always get out - and as babymother says I found it infinitely easier than getting out of the bath where you get a bit wedged in late pregnancy! Without focussing too much on interventions you might not want I've got a few friends who ended up having caesarean birth and wished they had though about what their preferences were for afterwards (e.g.: holding their baby, breastfeeding, finding out the sex, OH holding the baby skin to skin if they had a general, even having their glasses handy so they could see the baby properly!) not saying that it is something you have to think about but it sometimes seems more important to keep some of the unique things you want if things don't go to plan - that's how I felt when I had my first labour induced, which I really didn't want - there were things in our birth plan we could still do and it made it a more personalized, special experience. That said I think that going with the flow is a pretty good way of approaching labour and your instincts are usually right about what you will need.

  • Thank you. Never thought about if things don't quite go to plan what would still want, so spent last night with OH just making sure put down what are definites. Which was a good job as my dad then phoned saying how he'd very much like to be at the hospital. He's almost the last person I'd want there, and had already put down just to be me and partner no matter what. We both feel same on that. His side would just be wanting to be helpful and crowd us a bit, but mine while wanting to be helpful would cause riots in the same room as one another. Decided to put down we'd like to be told the sex as when asked OH he thought as I did that he might just be as good as Del Boy and when asked say 'it's a baby' lol. Bless, is only when you talk you find these things out, like he's really worried he might actually feint even though I know how well he can cope when need be. I might forgive him as long as he wakes up lol x

  • Hi there, I think that birth plans are a little over rated because they give you the illusion that you have control over the whole situation, which isn't necessarily true, as in all aspects of nature (or I'd have ordered better weather for my wedding day!!)

    However swap the word 'plan' for 'preference' you can keep the content wholly positive, focus on what is important to you and OH (skin to skin, cord cutting and whatever you feel is important) and give yourselves room to make choices during the birth.This mind frame is especially good if you have any known difficulties with your health along the pregnancy and overall its the small and simple things that are often the most meaningful to you both.

    When making choices you need to weigh up the benefits and risks - because all actions have both, ask about alternatives courses of action, check your making an informed choice (so read around and understand the possible medical interventions and the policy of the establishment) and of course the need - whatever happens it has to be because its in the interests of both your well-being and not because it's nearly tea time!

    Personally my plan is very simple, I want the opportunity for my body to do what it knows it needs to do, I want skin to skin asap and I want my husband to be with me (but not the business end!). I was considering delayed cord clamping and natural 3rd stage however as I'm on anti-coagulants I'm recommended to have a managed 3rd stage, and given that the I was quite tired the last time I had a baby and I don't want to bleed too much, especially if I tear again, I'm ok with that.

    I wish you all the best as I know you've not had the easiest time so far and I hope this helps x :)

  • Thanks :) . See that's why was kind of surprised by being asked to do a fully thought out plan. To be honest it has ended up rather short with most of it being 'if this happens would like if poss'. Esp as have basically been told a lot of what can't do even if wanted to, and what's more likely to happen. Mostly, even though is in my notes quite a lot to be on my back as little as poss. also yes made sure put down skin to skin etc. Not sure really what if anything to put about bf as midwife said basically stay in a day and we'll see if you can, but if not don't worry, bottle feeding works just as well. Will be staying a day anyway as have to be assessed for mobility. I know they do anyway, but they just want to be extra careful - especially as instability in my hip is just getting worse and worse closer the day gets, even had days when had to use crutches around the flat.

    Anyways hopefully put enough down so we will have what we want. Is very open - esp when comes to pain relief lol. I'm good with pain, but I have no intention of being a martyr :D really just want my baby here now. don't think has any intentions of arriving at mo though, is to busy whizzing around kicking me and anyone else that tries to go near the bump. except daddy who gets very gentle nudges and then a quiet baby. Guess who's already wrapped round a spoilt little finger lol. For having next to no sleep again and having a panic yest that not ready in a surprisingly good mood today. Hope everyone else has a good day too x

  • I think your birth plan is there in your post...'go with minimum relief and see what happens' because at the end if the day you won't know what you want or how you feel until your in labour!!

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