you know those posts where people say that their partner is their rock? well i don’t have one like that🙁. most of the time i can handle it but not always and not tonight. any suggestions i make about anything he does with relation to making my day easier he takes as a personal affront. honestly when i asked him to not pack items in the dresser so so tightly cuz its harder to find stuff he said that since he was doing the chore i didn’t have a say so.
he’s a good man but an arrogant one -like how dare i?
it’s not a big thing i suppose but it’s very definitely a hurtful one. thanks for the vent 🩵
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You have my sympathy. I divorced one of those, but unfortunately we'd made his clone. I alternate between wanting to hug him and wanting to beat him over the head with a really big brick.
He'd scrubbed the bathtub, and after telling him how great it looked I added that we had different cleaning products in the kitchen, in case he wanted them. He took it as me saying that he'd used the wrong ones.
yeah it’s a lot like that. he gets his feelings hurt on the regular because i ask for things to be done a certain way because it’s easier. one time he actually said”this isn’t all about you.” i was incredulous. trust and believe I’m not that much work. it’s almost like he’s 2 people and one of them is a huge ass. thanks again-you are helpful to maintain peace in the valley 🙂
Ah, men. Why are they so insensitive? And why did God make us so sensitive when we have to live with them? Sorry to hear it, my hubby is a wonderful guy, but can be very frustrating at times. I have anger issues, and it can be hard to cope with hurt feelings and a lack of respect. I hear you.
Edited to add: I apologize to any men reading this for my sexist comment. I'm sure there are a lot of men who are sensitive and considerate. This post isn't about you. ❤️
its so hard and although he’s a great guy he’s been somewhat of an ass ever since i got sick. as a result i’m not being my best self and i probably have an anger issue now……lol. and seriously I don’t ask for a lot of help. i’m sad and disappointed -this is not how i thought for better or worse would go.
Sorry you have to deal with this situation. My experience has shown me that they don’t change, sorry about that. If you want to stick with him, you are the one who always has to adjust to his needs. I have been there and I know from experience that they really don’t change. Good luck, sorry for being such a downer on this topic!
You do deserve to vent! What an unsupportive ar$e 😒Sounds like my mum's ex, my younger brother's dad. Mum couldn't do anything correctly, apparently, and whenever she brings up something hurtful that he said, he doubles down on the, "I never said that!"
I cannot suggest anything, really, apart from getting out and finding someone who listens to you and respects you and the disease. I know it won't be easy, and I know that you may be putting yourself in a dangerous situation, but think about whether your life would be easier with him, or without him.
dx 2017. Has been a learning curve for all of us for sure. Complete role reversal re daily tasks & children (well they are 18 & 21 so not kids). I have to disagree w Amore55 (sorry Kelly) but they can change to a degree. A lot of disagreement & communication. Takes him wanting to understand & to try to be better though. MS is certainly not for the weak. Unfortunately they will never truly know how trying things are for us. I have tried analogies which sometimes create an uh huh moment. Hang in there. We’ve got you 😉
it helps beyond what I can say❤️venting really is directly connected to my sanity. when others agree he’s being an ass in some twisted way it helps. I can deal when I don’t think I’m losing my mind.🙂
No advice. Just wanted to say I get it & am in the same boat. My inability to "do it all" anymore has my husband doing more around the house now (which he should have been doing all along, but I let him get away with doing very little to contribute when the kids were young). This has emboldened his arrogant side. Now, he acts like I'm totally incompetent and can't do the simplest of things correctly - things I've taken care of for 25+ years without his supervision or guidance. He has become overly critical (or maybe just more vocal) about things I do. The constant mansplaning is exhausting.
I told a friend the other day that 90% of the time I wish I wasn't married anymore. I'm calling this my mid-life crisis -- we've been together since teenagers & it's taking every fiber of my being not to throw in the towel in exchange for independence. We have a "good" life at the moment - financially stable dual-income household, home that is 6 years away from being paid off, good insurance, etc. I enjoy not being completely broke and don't make quite enough to afford a 'comfortable' life on my own, so it's better to endure this moment than give in. Only time will tell if it's the right choice.
it’s so helpful just to come to this site and vent-i am sure it prevents many fights between my husband and i. right now it is peaceful-i’ve kind of taken an emotional step back. i am able to do that because of you guys❤️. so much of this disease he doesn’t get although he will insist that he does. he sees what the disease does but his actions and talk give him away. that’s ok for now-maybe one day they’ll be a moment when he gets how strong a person has to be to manage being this weak. every day is a battle and we’re fighting the good fight. I’m tryna turn my anger into something productive-but first a 💤 nap! and thank you❤️
But first, a nap! << love it! I'm glad that being productive helps you clear the negativity, and I think naps are as equally important for mental health!
Hi there! Marriage can be so hard sometimes, I get it! But, I’m kind of sad about some of the responses you’ve gotten about leaving or things will never change. I clearly don’t know your exact situation, but maybe he’s having a hard time right now too? There’s a book called Love and Respect that really opened my eyes to differences in men and women and how we communicate with each other. Lots of practicals on how to improve your marriage. It is a religious book (just a heads up if that’s not your thing), but very insightful. Also, what about marriage counseling? That may help things as well. Praying things get better for you 🙏🏻🩷
Sometimes they don’t understand what we’re going through and why we ask those tiny things. I divorced a man that thought about drinking and abusing me and our daughter. Now it’s only her and I, which I love. There are times she wants to help, and I appreciate it so much, yet I do it myself so it’s done my way. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Would he be willing to read a book about what we go through or a podcast, just thinking outloud. Good luck, gentle hugs
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