Has anyone recently checked out care centers and what do you think?

[jackiesj]

MS Heart disease etc..married but that is no help. i find myself as many..alot of good days but sometimes a week at a time in bed and calling the husband to bring food. I am a forgotten person until i am up and at it then have 2 weeks of cleaning all left for me. I am tired and seeking knowledge. yes im depressed for a good reason. everything leads to finding a safe place for myself. no relatives here..cant travel at this time. i have visited a couple area places...i have even thought of renting with someone yet ONLY being a homemaker raising two wonderful adults..my age noone wants to rent to thier grandma! I have no work history except in the80s and was professional clown.COIA..Staying at this home is not an option but was informed that even though i have totally taken care of home the MR says i own nothing myself. well you can imagine. divorce being an option..dont know if id make it thru, being in bed.All of this Im shutting down.Hope..need hope.ty

[Humbrd]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this jackiesj. I can understand that you're wanting to get out of this situation. Sounds like you have no support system there in the house. Out of sight out of mind when you're in your bed for all that time. And then when you're up you're still expected to do all the household chores. I can see why you would want to move to a Care center where at least you would get help and be around other people who may be more understanding and feel connections to others. It's a big decision to make. It would be nice if you could do a test run and see if it's right for you but I don't know if that's possible. Maybe there's some sort of disability agency where you could get a social worker to help you figure it all out. If you and your husband own that house then you do have rights to half of it. If you do own it then maybe you could find a agency who can help with sorting through getting half of what your owed and maybe go into independent living at a facility. And if not then maybe you could find someone to help find a place that is based on your income such as your social security. Some kind of advocacy group. Try googling that in your area to see what services are available. Try to find one more burst of energy and hope to find services that can find you that safe place to live where you can then finally be at peace in your home.

[mrsmike9 in reply to Humbrd]

I like your ideas. Perhaps you can tell your husband that you are thinking about divorce? Of course, this depends on the temperament of your husband. If he's decent, it will wake him up! If not, keep quiet and figure out how to do this without him knowing. Praying for you!

[jimeka]

Sorry Jackie but I don’t know your American ways but be assured that I will be praying for you and your situation. God knows the plans He has for you , plans for good and not for evil, plans to give you hope and a future, so hang in there and have the faith I know you have, be strong, blessings Jimeka 🙏🦋🤗💜

[falalalala]

🙏

[goatgal]

First of all, in most states, married women are entitled to some assets or support in a divorce. Legal advice seems like an option to help clarify your situation. Depending on your age, there may be advice through a state or regional senior agency. Contact the social service agencies in your county or city to find what services you may be eligible for. Contact MSAA and NMSS to see what they can offer. Private homes that take in individuals who need care are often in the news for abuses of several sorts (financial, neglect, physical abuse). They are poorly monitored: avoid them as a last resort. Given what you write here, it sounds as if you are already in an emotionally abusive situation; social workers are trained to identify abuse. There is help available. Use your good days to research your options.

[ahrogers]

Make treating your depression a priority. You need talk therapy as well as medication to get it under control. Depression could be why you are spending so much time in bed. Once you get that better managed then you can seek advice on a divorce attorney. Take this one step at a time so you feel less overwhelmed.

[Diva1976]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Check your insurance, it may cover where someone can come to your home to assist you. I will keep you in my prayers.

[lbenmaor in reply to Diva1976]

I agree with you Diva1976. Going through this is so hard. Checking with your insurance about home assistance is an excellent idea. My prayers are with you!

Leslie

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[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador]

Good advice given here, jackiesj . 🙏

[Tazmanian]

Sorry

[kdali]

I have no advice, just so sorry you're having a rough time 😞

[Greentime]

I am so sorry.

[SandraKOE]

I will say a prayer for you right now. The Lord always has a plan for us. If you’ve been hospitalized lately, insurance usually pays for inpatient rehab. Sometimes it can even be in a nursing facility. There again every hospital & most clinics have social workers or case managers. If you can be aggressive with looking in to these places. Don’t know what state you’re in but in Texas if you’ve been married over 10 years and divorce you’re able to sue for alimony, 1/2 of any retirement fund he has and if you’re on his insurance, he still has to keep you on the policy. Call a lawyer. Be your own advocate. In some states if he files for divorce first he can be required to pay for your lawyer & all court costs.

[SandraKOE in reply to SandraKOE]

Around our area there are several places where seniors or the disabled can apply for assisted living or low income housing. Small handicap assessable apartments for rent, based on income. Sometimes there’s a waiting list but you can get on the list asap. Even if when it becomes available you decide that’s not the route for you.

[leking1]

I am so sorry to hear that you are having to deal with all of this. My love and my prayers are with you. You have some very good suggestions here to consider. At the least, make some phone calls and see what you can learn.🤗🙏😇

[mhepler531]

Prayers for you!