I'm at a loss and feeling discouraged. My mom has had diagnosed MS for over 30 years and done very well comparatively. Recently she is seeming very thin emotionally. Crying often. Not sleeping great. Grieving over the inability to do things she used to do... I'm not sure what is her general stress and age, and what is MS related. Is there is a way to tell the difference? Does it even matter?
Any advice on how to help her feel supported through this time would be appreciated. Is there a time I should be more concerned? Does this ever go back to normal or is this something that just worsens with age? I'm trying to understand but I feel like there is just so much I am missing.
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Daughter3
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Please get your mom to her doctor without delay for evaluation. Depression is very common in those with MS. Though the symptoms of depression vary, your mom is exhibiting several symptoms. Depression can be treated and can not only be miserable, but dangerous.
I second greaterexp response. We really can’t tell if it’s a reaction to the disease, a reaction to a medication she’s taking, a change in her disease status, a potential depression that’s caused by MS, a potential depression that’s caused by something else, or something else. I hope she can be seen by a medical professional soon.
I think what your mother is going through may well be a little normal for us. Perhaps sot her down of a cup of tea and really talk to jer. Ask her questions, and really listen to her answers. Drugs may NOT be the solution. Think about it, this woman has had ms for 30 years. ms affects the brain, the brain controls emotions. If this was you what would you be feeling?
It could be a normal grief response to realizing what has slipped away, but a professional should be supporting her through this as well. Sometimes getting older brings up new difficulties with lesions our formerly fatter brains managed with ease, so maybe a neuro visit should be scheduled. There are options for physical and psychological therapies that may be able to help her regain some things. As a daughter, I would investigate the sleep issue and try to start helping there, and ask if I could help get her an appointment with her MD, and go with if possible, if she wants. As a mother, and we are all different, I try to hide what I can hide from my kids.
Hello Daughter3 and welcome to the forum. Please reach out to her doctors to make them aware of this. This condition called ‘ms’ presents itself in many ways and everyone is different. Keep Smiling
How I sympathize with you and your mother! Mostly we older moms have kids some 20 to 30 years younger than we and the attitudes toward "hiding the truth while trying to cope with it" is vastly different than "sharing a problem or problems".
My kids are all 20+ years younger and live hundreds and several thousand miles away. None are especially wealthy and cannot visit regularly. How in the world can I consciously burden them with adverse news about my condition? I have not figured that out. My own mother was seriously ill with COPD and I lived and live 2000+ miles from her. My brother was furious with me (and may still be) about my inattention. All the while I knew nothing and her letters to me did not tell me she was ill. When she died I was devastated.
Because I am a Buddhist in a remote area, I meditated frequently about this situation. My conclusion was my mother knew about my living circumstances, she and I frequently exchanged the fact that we loved each other...finally I was able to leave it alone.
get her to her doctor and you go along and make sure you can understand and maybe remember to let them know of some of her problems for sometimes we forget to mention some problems ....love and some patience with her to help her figure out what is going on ...together may you two figure this out with the doctors....
I have a relative who has fought many years of severe depression, spent many impatient hospital stays. It took years, but she is finally on the right combination of meds. Has been happy and productive for years now, but is the first to realize, she needs the drugs.
Daughter3, everyone's MS is different from everyone else's but as someone with MS for over 40 years now, I've noticed some changes in emotional reactions but not the ones you've described for your mother. I find stress much harder to take these days, and any little break in my routines can be stressful.
Your mother's symptoms of depression just might be diet-related. Is she getting a nutritious diet with enough of the right nutrients? A dietary deficiency--especially iron--can cause profound changes in the way a person feels.
as an adult child of a chronically ill parent, i just wanted to reach out and wish you well. it's tough watching them struggle. the visible symptoms alone hurt to see, but when it affects their psychological health, it can feel helpless. i second those suggesting you take your mum for evaluation. getting support is important. my mum was my dad's carer, so i also have to add: make sure you look after yourself! whether it's watching a silly show, talking about how this affects you with a third party, going for a walk... whatever soothes you, make sure you take the time to do it.
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