I had a close friend of mine to tell me that it's not fair her daughter has type 1 diabetes and can't qualify for a check but that I get one for MS. She said that MS is nothing and doesn't affect anything and her daughter's is deadly. I got angry partly because I am going through a relapse and not feeling very well so I said well it's not fair that your daughter can walk and run and play and I can't even run anymore or walk during relapses. It's not fair that your daughter can enjoy going outside on summer days without almost having a heat stroke. It's not fair that your daughter can see perfectly out of both of her eyes when one of mine goes out during relapses. It's not fair that I am still young and I have to wear diapers when her daughter doesn't. It's not fair that I have to use a walker wherever I go so I don't walk like I'm drunk or fall because I get exhausted and need to rest my leg every so often. It's not fair that my left side is so weak that I can barely lift my leg when I'm not in a relapse. I'm sorry but while her diabetes can be life-threatening people can live full lives with it.
She is mad at me and refuses to talk to me now. Am I in the wrong for telling her this?
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mbrooks20
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I'm sorry you and your friend hurt one another's feelings. Life itself isn't fair: we don't take our first breath with everything weighed out in equal portions. We are born to parents who love us or don't, we are born in peace or war, we are born to poverty, wealth or something in between, and the discrepancies between our lives increase with every passing day. What we each have to do, with MS or Diabetes or Cancer or any of life's multitudinous misfortunes, is understand that we weren't singled out for punishment, that none of us were given a head start in the race, that each of us is responsible to make the most fulfilling life possible given our situation, and forgive one another when comparisons or judgments are made. I hope you and your friend can mend this rift.
I did feel extremely gulty after I said it and apologized immediately. I think the fact that she can work is what makes her so mad because she doesn't want to and I would love to go back.
Sounds like she was resentful about working and saw you as having the leisure time she wants. I hope she is able to understand as well as you have! For many years, I have had a friendship with someone who takes umbrage easily over random remarks. She raises her voice, proclaims loudly that she will never speak again to the offender, storms off...and within weeks has forgotten the incident. This has created difficulties for her in her career, but she is still a deeply good person, just prone to flashes of anger.
Right on 👍. I think you did the right thing. You stuck up for yourself and the way it is👍. Great for you, no one needs friends that don’t understand and try to demean you 😖. You were absolutely right in your response 😉🙏🐾🐾. Ken
I absolutely agree with YOU! NO one has the right to berate another person and everyone NEEDS to say how they are hurt by what someone may be say to them. Blessings becky
My 2cents? Tell her it's really none of her business! You are considered disabled for a reason. If she is your friend like she says, then she would know this. mbrooks20 . My bestest took the time to figure out symptoms of MS! And I took the time to learn a bit about her daughter's hydrocephalus! Because that's what friends do!
👍good job in sticking up for yourself mbrooks! & hopefully you both can become friends again someday. Many Prayers 🙏go out for ya. Do a candida cleanse after your relapse, sometimes our guts are all clogged up & leaky, then when we do a cleanse we really start to feeling better, I am, w/ the help of Ann Boroch's famous & awesome E'book, "Healing Multiple Sclerosis", & "The Candida Cure", She too had our M.on.S.ter & reversed it w/this amazing cleanse!💐🌼🌸🌺 & Many 1,000's of people have tried it & did too, Ifwcz is too & her hubby doin great so far! I always highly recommend those to others to help out & also a Dr. Amy recommends this too.
Yay! 🙏 mbrooks! You'll absolutley luv it!💗 great, yummy recipes & so much less expensive than any io the 💊💉DMT's out there, & healthier too...👍please keep me updated how it goes k. Luv ya!!xxxoo Jazzy🌹💜
Sounds like she needed a reality check and you gave her one. How thoughtless to say something like that to you. Not much of a friend if you're asking me. I'm an RN and know lots of people with type 1 diabetes that are working and have full lives. Some have a worse case than others, but the couple of patients I've had that aren't working were young and not taking care of themselves. It's hard for young people to tell themselves no, but you have to if you're going to get by with DM1. I feel bad for her daughter and maybe she's eating right and doing what the doctor says, but that was a really shi++y thing to say to someone with MS. People have no idea.
I am sorry you had to be treated so awful by your friend. Not a very good friend to say and be the judge of your disease. She obviously has NO IDEA the constant struggles and EVERYDAY of life symptoms pain emotional ups and downs people living with MS go through daily! Living with MS you DON'T get much of a break! Then add cancer or heart disease or diabetes on top of living with MS. I am PROUD of YOU for standing up for yourself! That's a hard thing to do especially if your mind doesn't work well like mine. Finding your words to the meaning you want to come out of your mouth. Especially when you're attacked like that from someone you thought was a friend.
My prayers are with you.
This is just another time we have to defend and deal with having an invisible disease such as MS!
You're not wrong. Many already said it better than I could. Yes, I think so many of us would love to trade places. It is what it is. Everyone has their own burdens in life. Diabetes is a nasty disease too. It takes a lot to control it, but it can be. I had several relatives die from it. It can be ugly. But till the end, it is not as disabling. My father as an example, who didn't control it nearly well enough, just as my other relatives. The loved all the bad stuff knowing it was bad. But, even after many surguries, and more plastic than original equipment for veins in his legs, and a few missing toes...he was able to do a lot.
Disability kicks in when you Can't work anymore. It's not a prize granted when you simply get sick. I worked for decades with M.S., pushing myself probably more than I needed. Ever try to climb a ladder when you could barely walk because you legs were like aldante spaghetti? Use your arms to pull yourself up! Be driven to jobsite after jobsite because you could not. If you do it right, you do whatever you can to keep on going. I did till right up till the end, then went "comatose" for a few years after retiring. I'm still fighting...to get better. Your friend is just starting her journey. Get on with it.
thank you I just finished the classes for diabetics so I would know what to do with her daughter because I wanted to make sure I knew all I could about type 1 diabetes.
She was no doubt speaking out in anger which riled you so you spoke back. I would think right now she is regretting that she spoke to you that way. It is a shame there is not much help for diabetics, especially that the insulin company has raised the rates for the medicine so much. I feel for her but she had no right to speak to you that way. I think you spelled it out just fine (I would have said worse so good for you).
I personally feel you had every right to stand up for yourself. MS has a mind of its own & flares up without notice no matter how careful we are. Diabetes is controllable as long as the patient is careful with what they eat & take their insulin as needed. It's not generally a disabling disease unless they don't take care of themselves & lose their sight or their legs.
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