Tears won’t stop

[TracyBelle]

I know we are supposed to be positive but I have SO MANY other problems besides MS. What if your glass is so empty it has dust in it?

[greaterexp]

I don’t know what to say, except that I’m sorry. I wish I could do something to change your circumstances.

[CynthiaS]

Hi Tracy, when I got diagnosed with MS I began to cry all the time. Turns out I have PBA, which is due to damage. Can make you laugh or cry constantly. I am on Nudexta and no longer crying all the time. Wishing you peaceful mind. Blessings Cynthia

[Jazzyinco]

Tracy, yep, PBA is not unusual for our M.onS.terTerrorist! I am so sorry & i feel it w/you! I got so bad one day that the darn M.S.Hug came on, & sometimes it does take away our emotions all together, just take a deep breath, Deeply Pray🙏& you'll be okay, tomarrow is another day to keep fighting on & find your glass isn't so empty as you thought it was today! You'll be okay!👍👍🙏🙏😍❤💙💚😕😻👌Much Love, Prayers & Blessings headed your way!!--Jazmine💜🌹Rose

[Jesmcd2 CommunityAmbassador]

Then you empty the glass clean it and fill it up TracyBelle . They say, if you do the same thing over and over, you get he same results. Only you can change things! Not anyone else. 🤗

It's a matter of what you want more!

Change. Or not!

Small steps become big steps in time!

🤗💕

J🌠

[kdali in reply to Jesmcd2]

Love this! Pass the soap! Baby steps 😘😍

[TracyBelle in reply to Jesmcd2]

How do I change? I have changed so much in the past 20 years without meaning to. I don’t feel that I have control over these changes and I don’t even recognize myself or the way I react to things. The old me was capable of looking on the bright side, but I had hopes and dreams back then. I know I need professional help but I don’t have $ for a copay or a ride to get there.

[kdali in reply to TracyBelle]

How do you get back to yourself! How do you have new hopes and dreams? What can you control or take back control of?

Without a doctors referral and mode of transportation to get the help you need (can anyone lend advice on this please?), the first thing that pops in my head is meditation. Mostly because it’s the only thing we are able to do when MS gets really really really ugly.

youtube.com/playlist?list=P...

The next is journaling. Every day. Not just the good or just the ugly, but an honest emotional vomit no one else has to see, on paper, for you.

Lifestyle: are you sleeping, can you improve on that? Are you moving, can you improve that? Diet? Some people use healthy foods, and others use water fasting.

Is there something that makes you laugh that you can watch or read when tensions mount? Can you get outside in the fresh air or sunshine? A friend you can visit?

I hope something here can help you get some relief. I also hope you’re able to get professional help and find yourself again 😘🤗

[Jesmcd2 CommunityAmbassador in reply to kdali]

I agree with kdali all these are wonderful ideas TracyBelle !

It all starts with a conscious choice though! YOU and only YOU can decide to put the past behind you, and live for the moment, then the minute, hour, and then the day! Smile at your son today, tell him how proud you are! Feel that feeling? You did that! YOU raised him! Be proud of that! Hold that feeling and build on it!

🤗💕

J🌠

[jimeka]

🤗 💐 🍫 🌈 🙏

[carolek572 CommunityAmbassador]

TracyShort,

When this happens to me, I just let the tears flow. It's okay, however it helps to have someone that can listen to me. I hope that you have someone who can listen to you. Just listen. Nothing else. And a shoulder, and lots of tissues. This might be medically related, and you should let your doctor know what is going on.

Stay strong,

Carole

[Diva1976]

I hope things get better for you. Try to think of things that make you smile. Look into resources in your area that can assist. I know here in Michigan, transportation is available through Medicaid to take people back and forth to appointments if needed. Sit and try to tackle one problem at a time. Control each one the best way you can. I know it’s unfortunate that some things are just the way they are. But as long as you know you have done what you can do. Than you have taken ownership to control that situation. Control what you can!

[goatgal]

TracyShort I have nothing to add to the excellent posts today from Fancy1959, Kdali, and Jesmcd2. Fancy's post about depression contains descriptions of your feelings and both Kdali and Jes make suggestions that help us emerge from the black hole of depression and despair. In the past, I have suffered from depression and learned, with help from therapists, that I can work my way out by taking teeny tiny actions. It may seem overwhelming at first, but each little step is positive. For example, if I am miserable and withdrawn, so into myself that I cannot answer the phone,get dressed, wash my face, brush my teeth, if I choose just one little task, it moves me forward. So today, get dressed. Tomorrow, dress and wash my face, maybe even brush my teeth. The day after that, find some small task to accomplish, maybe wash that dusty glass! Know, as you struggle to regain your old confident self, we are all with you, cheering from far and wide! You can do this!!!

[Amore55]

Oh Tracy! I feel like I have so let you down! I keep intending to write, but I have been so horribly sick. I am so sorry. Please keep reaching out to all of us and please try to find just one thing like was suggested to be proud of. I mean, you finished law school, what a brilliant gal you are! Sending love, Kelly

[TracyBelle]

You have never let me down! I have been reading your posts and really feeling your pain. In my state I have no idea how to encourage you and I feel like YOU are suffering from FAR more than me, but you still manage to think about others problems. I wonder how you are doing in your new home, and what it is like for you to be divorced and on your own. Moving would probably land most of us in bed for a few days afterwards. You waking up single in a new house seems like a whole different experience. How are you handling everything? How are you physically? Are you feeling OK or are things going worse than expected?

You are so incredibly brave- Tracy

[TracyBelle]

A Miracle has happened! My husband was able to finance a “certified pre owned “ car that he can show real estate in. He has been renting cars for cheap but now the monthly payment is under $300! We didn’t have to trade in our 2000 Exterra, so there is still a possibility of repairing it to pass inspection. That way my son can drive to school and work this fall. (My son did a 3 week internship that has turned into one day a week ever since and they want him to come in after school starts once a week also)

My husband and his real estate partner are possibly changing to a new company, so the car was a MUST.

Thank You to everyone who has prayed for me or just wondered how I am. I haven’t had that since I can remember.Your prayers have helped to change our family situation and kept me “away from the edge”. I am so grateful for and humbled by your encouragement and patience with my negative emotions.

Thank You ALL for just being a keystroke away- Tracy

P.S. - Stay strong because sometimes things actually DO get better.

[Jesmcd2 CommunityAmbassador in reply to TracyBelle]

What wonderful news TracyBelle 🤗 I hope things still keep getting better for you!🤗💕

J🌠

[CraigS]

It seems that no matter how much you suffer, there is always someone who has it a little worse. Take some time to assess your needs and reach out to others for help, either emotionally, financially or physically. You can do this! From what I read about you, you have accomplished a lot in your life and possess the ability to get through this too. Please keep trying. Everyone here is pulling for you.

Craig