I need help

[TracyBelle]

I am having a meltdown and this app is not helping

[RoseySawyer]

What's wrong?😕

[TracyBelle in reply to RoseySawyer]

I wake up in a puddle of tears every day. My husband is usually around to pick me up and get me going, but he had to work this morning.

[TracyBelle in reply to TracyBelle]

I am writing a sentence at a time so it doesn’t keep getting erased somehow

[TracyBelle in reply to TracyBelle]

Does anyone else wake up in pain and wishing they were dead every day? I am stuck in a negative thought pattern such as “you’re a loser and your life will never change “you have no one to care about you” and of course “why bother “

[Kellyj44 in reply to TracyBelle]

Some days I feel exactly like you do. I'm really working on myself as far as thinking positive. Some days are good others not so good.

Try some yoga . That's what I've been doing. Don't give in and don't give up!! Keep on keeping on girl!!! Love and prayers for you.

[Allen5280 in reply to TracyBelle]

Yes, I do understand the feeling, all to well. It's more often than not that my prayers leaad me into a direction of "please don't make me do this anymore" it was much worse around my DX in 2014. I wanrreed to jusst die. I was taking to long to get my meds worked out, as I watched everything I had worked so hard for, education, planning, preparing for the future. All justslipping from my grasp not to mention the physical challenges. Waking every morning feelings as though I got into a fight with a locomotive, and of course lost. My morning Spasticity is almost always the worst due to not moving around a whole lot while sleeping. Dr and I talked and increased my bedtime dosage of my muscle relaxer just before bedtime and it made things a little easier. Now I'm to the point where I only take them at night before bed and I'm using a natural pain and Spasticity reducer. I don't talk about it a lot because it was illegal in my state just up until last month and there still getting it all worked out. With all the stuff that wsss going on with me my ALL my Dr's, Theripist, Family and Faith counselor agreed and were on board with it. It also helps with my anxiety and depression to an extent. It was a long process to get it all worked out with my symptom management. Several years as a matter of fact, it was a tough road accepting my new path. I still have times when someone will call and ask me "what have you been up to?" What am I supposed to say, well I rebuilt a couple bridges last night and im fixin to start the repairs on the Taj Mahal"? I try and remember that they have no idea how it feels to loose oneself. I do at times spout off a bit of sarcasm cause I can't help myself. Finding new direction takes some time but first getting things to where you can just tolr rate the discomfort is really hard. For me I had to start being the squeaky wheel to my Neuro office. This may seem a small thing, but with my cognitive issues I found something I could learn to do new. I started playing the harmonica and it has helped me. I goes along way for me realizing that I can do something. I can become something else. As RoyceNewton puts it frequently be like bamboo, bend but don't break. I know that when your hurting that can sound so cliche. TracyBelle , you can do. My Neuro gave me some pretty good advise at thebegining of all this mess, concwntrate on just one acomplishment a day. After a while of doing that it went to one accomplishment and then a couple possible. It made me feel pretty good when I wa s Abel to get that one goal done and even better when I could knock out one goal and get to the second and even the third. As we got my symptom management lined out a little better, I could do more.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers,

Allen

[bxrmom in reply to TracyBelle]

TracyBelle are you on an antidepressant? Depression, unfortunately, comes along with the MS. If you are not on a med you may want to talk to your doctor about getting on something or if you are, maybe have the dose upped or changed to something else. I have been battling depression for years before my dx in 2006 and had to finally get on an antidepressant in the early 2000's because I was in a bad place with crying and wanting to die. The meds have really helped me and may help you as well.

Take care of yourself and talk to your doctor,

Jessie

[RoseySawyer in reply to TracyBelle]

What's on your mind? Anything bothering you?

[TracyBelle in reply to RoseySawyer]

Everything bothers me

[RoseySawyer in reply to TracyBelle]

Sometimes I have days that everything and everyone irritates me. I just try to find a place that's calm and quiet, so I can clear my mind with deep, slow breathe, so I can try to calm myself down. Even listening to music helps.