Loved ones and Spouses and turmoil

[RoyceNewton]

They do not have this illness, they probably do not understand and have their own dreams. Dreams that may have once included us, but did no t include us as a disabled person. Sometimes they just get scared or realize that they can not cope and decide that they do not have to.

They leave us. In the best of buddhist traditions understand hat they may have to travel a different path. Do not be bitter angry full of hate towards them. Let them go it may not be you they hate but themselves and their own weakness. We are the ones with the illness, we are the ones who have to cope and find away through the next 50 or 60 years not them.

You my friends are special, YOU are invited on the bus for awhile, not them.

Stay strong, bend and do what u know has to be done.

Royce

ms Driver

[Kellyj44]

Yes ma'am!!

[RoyceNewton in reply to Kellyj44]

[Peruzzot]

50 to 60 years would put me in the centurian category and with my family history my prospects of living that long aren't good. My Dad's side of the family rarely lives beyond 75 due to cancer. My Mom's side of the family 78 due to diabetes types 1 &2. Apart from MS though I've taken much better care of myself than most of them so maybe there's hope yet.

[RoyceNewton in reply to Peruzzot]

to be honest same for me

[ssdw1958]

Ok 😕 sorry for that you are right in what you are saying.

[BigMar7]

Yes Royce you are so right, beautifully written. Thanks 😀

[Fancy1959]

Royce, well written and the sentiment is truly one that many people in the chat room have to deal with. My marriage is far from perfect but I thank my lucky stars each and every day that my husband chooses to come home to me, his disabled wife, who he has to assist with just about everything these days. I am not the same wife he had even 5 years ago. Looking back it's scary to realize how far I have slid down that slippery slope that is MS over just the past 5 years!

Remember we are not the only ones that are scared of the changes that are happening to us. I know my husband doesn't know how to cope but he does the best he can. I know he is scared to death but he tries not to show it. I know he can't understand the embarrassment I face daily due to my many symptoms including falling over at the simplest of obstacles, having a bladder that has a mind of its own, or simply not being able to cut my meat up anymore. I often feel as if I'm 59 years old going on 2. I think the embarrassment is as bad as the disabilities but he does his best to prevent the embarrassments from happening as often as he can.

To everyone who spouses have not been able to cope with this monster that we live with I send you my warmest wishes, hugs through this Electronic Connection, and many prayers. Remember, never give up and never give up in, fight on MS Warriors, fight on!

We are made of stronger and stiffer stuff then those that leave us behind and please don't you ever forget how strong you are! You also need to remember by linking your arms with all your fellow MSers in this chat room together our chain becomes unbreakable! Together we are stronger! Together We Are Family!

[Babslover in reply to Fancy1959]

I have to say that message brought me to really realize that yes we a family that understands each other. Thank you 😊

[RoyceNewton in reply to Babslover]

Enjoy them.

[Midgey_Midge06]

I had only been with my man 4 years before my dx. Never once did it cross my mind that he might leave me. He says people had told him he shud cut his loses and run but thats not who he is. I too am grateful every day that he still helps me as much as he does. Sometimes i think he can be an annoying mother hen - but i am grateful he is!

[RoyceNewton in reply to Midgey_Midge06]

Sounds like a good bloke

[Midgey_Midge06 in reply to RoyceNewton]

He really is. He even started a non profit to train service dogs for people in need for free. Mostly Veterans but for others as well.