Trying

[Fattius]

Being a productive member of society has been the ultimate trial! After several attempts to rejoin the work force and obtain gainful employment have been unsuccessful, I'm left with this vacuum of hate and confusion! Morbid thoughts and self doubt have plagued my very existence. Autism, cancer, sexual abuse, mass shootings, etc, are real problems problems that seem to dwarf my own. MS has taken my life and happiness and by proximity taken this from the ones I care about. Depression has lead me to an almost total reclusive state! Anger encompasses my every waking moment. My interactions are few and memory loss has spun my world upside down. Arguments with myself only add to my frustration! Loving life is what I was good at only to be replaced by hate. They choose not to see me for what I was, only what they feel I should be! Crazy is what im called, so this is what I've become!!!!!!

[Jesmcd2 CommunityAmbassador]

Hi Fattius soooo goes it going? I can agree the world has gone nuts. And let's face it, it's down right scary out there.

This feeling of hatred tho? It takes a lot of energy to be hateful. To me it's a waste of good energy.😊

You can't change what IS. You can only change YOUR own attitude towards it. You can choose to be happy, or choose to be angry. Bottom line your attitude affects everyone around you.

I wish you the best!💕

If you need help with ssi/As a key me know and I can give you a number.😊

J 🌠

[Hidden in reply to Jesmcd2]

Well said Jesmcd2 .

[ssdw1958]

Oh please don't let the true crazies drag you down you know your better than they are. My work brought me down and they took my job away from me. And I know I am not someone who will be hired again which really stinks and is not fair. I had people say you can work at a grocery store I did that kind of work before this last job and my answer is NO I can't do that work. And I don't want to. People don't get the whole MS deal it is very frustrating don't let those fools bring you down because you know your better than them

[MrBigCat]

Fattius I'm so sorry you're going through such difficulties. Please know you are not alone. I was a relatively well-adjusted person before ms came along. Depression and self-doubt can come on so quickly you don't even know what hit you. Please try to be kind and compassionate toward yourself. Yes there are many problems that others face but that doesn't mean your problems should be minimized. You can find happiness again, it may take on a different shape and form but it still will be good.

I hope you can find some support, perhaps through friends or professionally. Please let us know how you are doing. Wishing you well.

[Nom_De_Plume in reply to MrBigCat]

MrBigCat What an awesome reply!

[Nom_De_Plume]

Fattius I am so sorry for your pain. Anger is a natural reaction to MS, in my opinion. There can be a lot to grieve when one has MS. I wish I knew what to say to help. Finding a good therapist can help you to process all the different aspects that make life difficult. I think MS is too much for anyone to handle alone. Your post sounds rather grim, so I hope you will consider getting that help?

Have you filed for disability?