Does anyone deal with....others treating you like you are contagious?

[jackiesj]

On most sites we have been warned with things like Ms that you could lose your job etc if word is let out.I have also faced after admitting to MS, having a few people out of ignorance actually avoid being near me etc because I have MS.Besides going home and crying, guilt, anger and feeling stupid is it best to hide away.I don't bring the topic(most of us try to forget it).....but there it is...Anyone else face the same thing?TY

[kdali]

Oh no! I'm sorry you feel this way 😞 I think some people are uncomfortable with my MS on the rare occasion it comes up.

[Hidden]

Yes, it's horrible. It upsets me and I don't know if it's a contagious reaction, an attempt to disassociate because they are jerk or if they just can't handle the pain of looking at you. Who knows. Have to get out and just not care what people think. Easier said than done.

[jimeka]

jackiesj first of all, you are no less of a person just because you have ms. You were created just the same as everyone else out there and you have that same rights. Don't ever let anyone make you feel less of a person than you are. Stand up and be counted. Stand bold. You may have ms, but ms doesn't have you. I know it can be hard because ms as a way of controlling our emotions, let your love shine, blessings Jimeka 🦋 🌈 🤗 🤗 🤗 🍫

[erash]

jackiesj

Yes! Because of this I reluctantly play the MS card. Although sometimes I feel like I need to wear a placard with MS on it to explain my clumsiness etc.

The "im so sorry" pity reply followed by stares looking for my disabilities makes me feel like an alien from Mars 👽

[greaterexp]

Now I understand a little better how how people with any serious disease have been treated over the centuries. Reactions have been all over the place in my experience. Some great responses, and a few that were less than great.

Each of us has different expectations, as well as different reactions. What one person may feel is a hurtful comment, another may welcome. I once had a friend who was hurt and offended when others wished her a good morning! She felt it put high expectations on her!

I think most people who avoid us are fearful or simply ignorant about the disease. I try not to take that personally, but try to realize that they don't have the tools to face their discomfort. I believe most people just don't know what to say, and I can't blame them for that. I've felt that way before, especially when I was young. (Yes, I was young once!)

Since I can't change other people, I work on my response to those who have difficulties dealing with my MS. I don't think there is a perfect answer. And there will always be simply rude, thoughtless people. I'm glad there are more well-intentioned and kind folks out there.

I'm sorry that any of us have to deal with difficult people on top of MS. I hope you have more understanding friends and support people than the other kind. Those lovely people are treasures!

[rlh1974 in reply to greaterexp]

greaterexp so happy you have had positive. To date, I have only had 2. One my wife. The other a friend that transcends friends! He is amazing.

[SlmHarris]

I never did have this problem. I went to the GM up front and laid it on the table. He was very understanding and let me know he would not mention a word that it was up to me.

I was worried by the Dr appts and hospitalization but I always covered my self with Dr excuses. After 2 years I did haveto go on disability

Cover your self with Dr appts and remember Hippa.

Try to explain to your closest associates about MS and that you are not contagious. Hopefully they will help you out and explain to others. You need there support!

[rlh1974]

jackiesj EVERYDAY! Especially when people see me with my cane or walker for the first time. Please please please take what other people think and say and dump it in the trash!!!!!!!!!! The Oh you look so healthy remark. That makes me want to punch people. Or they treat me like a fragile kitten. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Look me in the eye and treat me as a human being!. Jackie, you are not alone. Remember that! You are a freaking rockstar!!!!!!! Own it, then come here and yell and scream your brains out. That is what we are here for!!!!!! We love you so much and if we all were close enough would hug your neck!

Also, It isn't quite contagious that people are treating you like. It is like Kristi or @kdali said. People don't know how to deal with it. Or to see you weak. So they treat you like you are infectious. It is only ignorance. I friend of mine who had cancer. When I found out I went right up to her, hugged her neck and said I am so broken hearted you have to deal with this. I was by her side the whole way. She shared with me the suckiest part of having cancer was being strong for everyone else. It should be the other way around. I find that to be true with MS. I comfort more people than comfort me.

Just remember, no matter how people treat you. You are strong, You are beautiful. You are STRONG! Most important you are not contagious! I saw a cartoon the other day. It said. God gave me MS because I am the one only one strong enough to kick my own ass!!!! I laughed soooooo hard! Please excuse my language!

Love all of you!

Rob

[Doubled51]

Hi Jackie. I agree that most people don't know how to treat us. Ones with no disabilities have no idea that there are different disabilties. To them all People afflicted with disabilities are to be avoided because healthy folks don't know what to say or do. If they hide from it they don't have to deal it. I'm a pretty tough skinned person. If I'm gonna be around someone for any period of time I tell them up front that I have ms. If they have a problem with it they might as well get on their departure. I don't have time or sure don't have the energy to deal with their problems. I tell perfect strangers all the time When I'm walking with or without my cane that I don't drink or do drugs. I stagger because I have ms. Some laugh and some look at me like I have the plague. But that's entirely up to them. I try to treat all people with respect and compassion and expect the same in return. If not it's their loss not mine. There are to many good people in this world to let a few morons spoil my parade. Just rub the bad ones name off the black board and rewrite the names of the good. I love everybody. But there's a lot of folks I don't like at all.

Just remember that here we all love you. God bless and have a beautiful day.

Donnie

[CalfeeChick CommunityAmbassador]

Sorry for all you are going through. Yes, with MS, you quickly find out who your true friends are. You are not any less of a person for sure. I also find that I'm the one to initiate getting together for lunch or a coffee. I wish people would research MS so they know more of what we are going through and have a better understanding that we are the same person, just a little different.

[MarkUpnorth]

I had a t-shirt made at one point: "I'm not drunk, it's M.S. No bar tabs needed!"

I did that because for years I walked like a drunk due to the M.S. And it made me feel better in what others might think.

If you forget about what others are thinking and simply be friendly, most people get over it quickly. If they ask, then I openly tell, like it's no big thing, and tell them that I've had it a long time, and I'm working on it, and getting better. Then immediately change the subject to something else like it's not important to me. (Even though we all know it is very important as it affects about every aspect of our lives.) Keep talking like that, and you will start to move on and actually believe it yourself.

Now, if I find someone with M.S., or find someone who says they know someone with it, I like to share what I've learned with others who may be still struggling with M.S. physically and emotionally, and give them what I learned in that it might help them too. And let them know they can always call to talk with someone whose been there, done that. Here's what helped me most.

There are a LOT of horrible diseases out there. If I have a feeling overwhelmed thought, I think how LUCKY I am that I don't have xxx, and have to xxx.

[rlh1974 in reply to MarkUpnorth]

You are right! Could always be worse! Also, I'd rather have a bar tab!!!!!! I miss beer!😂

I had posted before. A great way to get out of or continue a convo is. I have good days and bad days. Today is a good day. Thanks for asking. Then you can either just end it, or continue. Depending on the person you are talking to. My phycologist taught me that one. Works like a charm!

[ssdw1958 in reply to rlh1974]

I have to let you know I miss having a glass of wine 🍷 not that I drank a lot but I would have maybe a glass of wine once a week. The last time I had a sip was at my nephews wedding about 5 years ago.

[Jesmcd2 CommunityAmbassador]

Hi jackiesj I'm really sorry that your being treated like that. Unfortunately you can't control how others react. All you can do is control how YOU choose to react.😊

Personally, I go for the smile 😃 and the stare down.😁😄😄

Jes 🌠