I awoke this morning remembering bits and pieces of a dream.basically, I was telling someone I used to be able to do something but the MS....
It dawned on me that while I'm trying to fill my life with beautiful experiences...and I am. I am collecting experiences but I'm no longer striving for a specific goal.
Perhaps some of this is due to aging --career and relationship goals-- check✔️
But I'm also needing to lower the bar on smaller goals like how much I can accomplish on my to do list of daily activities.
I'm goal-less? It feels strange for a very goal directed me. The up side is that the experiences I'm amassing are often deeper experiences.
Analogy: I used to be a pebble skipping across a lake (life). Now I'm slowly wading through the shallow waters, stopping to notice a turtle or snail and occasionally getting caught up in the weeds and muck.
Thanks! For letting me express myself here. So glad to share my morning ☕️ With you all 💕
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erash
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erash I'm enjoying my morning coffee too! I use to wake up every morning and plan my "to do" list for the day. My list today is way shorter and much more flexible than it use to be😕. It also includes built in breaks. If I was 15 years older, I'd accept this easier. I hate that my family has to worry about me. My balance has been really off the last few days and we're scheduling a mini vacation. Hoping for improvement soon! One positive from this forced slow down, I enjoy nature/sky/environment much more than ever before! And that's my morning rant 😂.
erash and Juleigh21 I, too, never had time to notice nature until my MS diagnosis forced me to prevent eye pain by spending more time looking out the window. It was there that I discovered the many creatures that were attracted to our yard. We had spent endless hours over the the previous 10 years planting tropical gardens. Hence, my amateur photography hobby was born, allowing me to capture the amazing creatures that I have been able to share with all of you. Now that MS has forced me to retire, I hope to learn how to use my camera. Up until now, it's been pure luck, as all I do is point and shoot.
I am thinking it might be easier to manage living with MS when you are older? I am happy to get out of bed in the morning and make it to the bathroom! That's goal #1. I also hate people having to do stuff for me. My days are filled with quick "pit stops" in my recliner with my feet up. Then on to whatever comes next.
erash Im with you! I now find myself in the cool of the morning while hunting chipmunks 🐿🔫 enjoying the birds and the breeze. Even what planes are flying overhead. I'm an aviation buff. So every now and then, I see a WWII plane or biplane. I just sit and enjoy it.
I'm in to. In our new place in the sticks its so quiet and peaceful that I can't sit on my deck and look at a a row of beautiful rose bushes and my 3 1/2 acres of woods with no houses within sight. I love it. So quiet and beautiful. Where we we're housing industry exploded in the last 10 years and I was miserable. Ms or not I'm loving my country life again. Thank God I'm a country boy. God bless you all.
erash its good to have a rant, but yours was a beautiful rant, maybe you should take up writing, you are quite eloquent when you get started. I know I appreciate nature much more now, but again I don't know whether it is age or ms. Even so, I have now taken up talking to the Robins that live in my garden. One of them even brought the partner to introduce me to him or her. I haven't worked out which is the male or female. When I am working in the garden they always appear. I know they are after the bugs I am turning over but they respond in their own way. They even chirp back to me. Free treatment, blessings Jimeka 🦋 🌈
I love you analogy! Both visuals are beautiful in it's own right. As we age I think we all must make a similar transition. I prefer the deeper experience.
I've discovered I enjoy watching the birds in my yard and on my balcony. They are such interesting creatures. Each one with a different type of beauty, different habits and personalities, and I never took time to pay attention to them before. I also enjoy watching squirrels. I used to be the squirrel - now I watch them. It's difficult having a previously unknown level of inactivity forced on you, but there is so much you can learn from stillness that you don't learn running around like a squirrel. There is a raven with a broken wing who lives at one of our local parks. People have seen her there for a couple of years. She's had to learn new ways to survive, too, now that she can't fly. And she seems to be doing just fine.
I too hate others doing things for me that I can do myself. I am just slowe and awkward looking. I had to retire (go on disability) two years ago after getting up at 5:30 or earlier and working 10-14 hour days for 40 years. Sometimes I miss the feeling of importance and community a job gives. But I sure do not miss getting up early Monday mornings. It is time to stop and smell the roses. It's just hard bending over to smell them with a bad back and the fear of falling.
RobertCalifornia i do miss caring for patients but I sure dont miss texts and calls every few minutes. I'm still surprised when I look at my phone after an hour or 2 and there's no messages to respond to.
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Odd news yesterday morning
Early morning surprise
Unfortunately, he left this morning, 
