Desperate in Michigan

Relocated to Western Michigan from the St. Louis, MO area. My PCP and neurologist were amazing, compassionate, caring physicians. 5 months into our new state of MI and I am scheduling appointments with my 3rd PCP and 3rd neurologist. My last PCP told me that I needed to just stroke the neurologist's ego to get him on the same page as myself. 😳 I almost fell off the exam table. Lookin for anyone in my area hat has experience with compassionate PCP and neurologist that actually "care" about me. My health is not a "game"! 😡

7 Replies

  • Hi Tenessa,

    Wow, just Wow ! That is just shocking ! Sadly, ego does seem to be a problem with a lot of high ranking health professionals - they really need to get a grip and realise it is not all about them ; it is about doing the best for the patient !

    I'm in the UK so cannot help but am sending all good wishes for finding a decent, caring support system. Allow me one last Wow ! I am truly gobsmacked ! Kind regards, Angela x

  • Hi tenessa24 . Yikes! Sorry you are having such a difficult time finding a good PCP and neuro. I live in the UP. My local neuro is ok, usually see his PA or NP both of which I like, then he pops in for a few minutes. There is no ms neuro here so insurance allows me to go down to UofM, an 8 hr drive, to the ms clinic. I've gone twice and plan to go there every year or so. Feel much better having them read my mri's etc. Really liked the neuro I saw there and hope I can continue with her. Best of luck finding someone you like.

  • tenessa24 excuse me for laughing, but I had to laugh at the advice of "stroking the ego" because that's exactly what my daughter told me to do! Made me mad to, but you gotta do what you gotta do! Get this, she is a Respiratory Therapist working 12 hour shifts at the University of Toledo Hospital, and usually the "in charge" RT working with the doctors. She said I gotta remember they are little gods and do not like their ego questioned, and I must first agree with them and phrase my questions in an ignorant sort of way, throw myself at their mercy, and let them prove their brilllarnce. I went thru the first 3 neurologists not knowing this, quoting facts from MSAA, statistics and percentages from each mediciine clinical, and correcting their quotes, which obviously got me disliked and discontinued as a patient! My 4th neuro was the last one I was going to - I was just going to give up and let nature take its course! So, I played his game for the first 30 minutes, but was too shocked at his statements, quoted a few books, was told "you read too much!" and "you can't accept as truth everything you read," He finally shut up when I asked him if his published papers were true (guess I shocked him by me taking time to research and read his published papers---I am a research fanatic). Anway, then I threw myself on his mercy, and cried, and begged his help, told him he was my lasts resort, my life was in his hand, no matter how much knowledge I had, and put him back in his little god throne - and then he really began to help me!! Has me set up going to a Botox clinic for my terrible migraines, a pain clinic, a sleep clinic, a neuroscience therapist, and OT therapist who is gonna try acupuncture, took me off Aubagio because he believed it was causing my never-ending chronic bronchitis, sent me to PCP for antibiotics, inhaler, steroids, singulair (which over 3 weeks has finally cleared up 2 months of severe bronchits). Anway, my point is, I swallowed my pride, and "stroked his ego" and let him believe he "knew it all", then let him see my pitiful case of not being helped my previous neuros, and feel good about the road he has mapped out for me!!

  • Whoah! Thanks for the advice! It's utter nonsense to feel dismissed and uncared for, but, you're right! Gotta do what I gotta do! Glad #4 finally worked for you!

  • tenessa24 you know what he told me??? when I told him I was losing control of my emotions, especially anger issues? He said if I lost my temper with him, and got angry with him he would dismiss me as his patient and couldn't work with him!!! I wanted to say, why, you little snit!!! You know this disease makes a person lose control and you saying if I lose control you will dismiss me? You stinking king of the island, I'm walking out now! (But God gave me patience to stay, and I remembered my daughter's advice -by the way, she said if you are ever in a hospital don't ever let a resident-in-practice work on you, they are ignorant people who think they know it all and will kill you!). Anway, my husband was in there with me, and at one time he told me how wonderful my husband was to be patient with me, and helping me, and supporting me, and he was an angel to get along with me, because he (the doctor!) would not get along with me at all! I wanted to say, as for a person, I would not even have a cup of coffee with you! You are too invasive, too stuck on yourself, too proud, and I can't stand the way you dress - but I ate humble pie, and continue to stroke his ego and thanked him for accepting me as a new patient, since his practice was 25 years old, and he was know as the best MS specilast within a 100 mile radius, and he took me in because my PCP had written of the terrible time I had been given by the 3 previous neuros! He came down from his high thrown to rescuse this peitiful plebian! But I will not bow down. I will continue to quote facts!

  • Tenessa24, it is Fancy1959 welcoming you to this chat room. You found an amazing place that is safe with caring compassionate and considerate people that will give you lots of positive support. Now let me assist you with finding your new neurologist in the grand state of Michigan. What you need to do is call the National Multiple Sclerosis Association at 1 800 fight MS. They have Regional chapters and they will set you up with several neurologists numbers that are close by to where you live. It is my experience that by giving this number out to other people that a case worker will practically adopt you and help you to find a new neurologist in your area. I have worked with these people before and they are wonderful, very sincere, and very knowledgeable. Give them a shout, what have you got to lose? Please keep me informed and let me know how Ms. Desperate in Michigan is doing!

  • Thanks! That's super-helpful!

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