Hi everyone!

I'm sorry it's been awhile since I have been here. It's been a rough couple of weeks for me. My husband and I are getting a divorce, I'm depressed to no end, but its getting cooler in las vegas (yay!). I'm okay with the divorce. I saw it coming. The drinking, the violence and the constant fighting. It's time for me to move forward with my girls and myself. I don't need the putting me down or making fun of me because I slur and walk funny. I'm not trying to bring anyone down but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I keep smiling and laughing. That's me

39 Replies

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  • Hi Shelly, I have been there, I left Canada with 2 children and 4 suitcases and came back to the uk, you have to do what's best for you and the children. I am now remarried, 26 years now, so there is hope, you just have to go down a few bumpy roads first, but stick to your guns and with God's help He will get you through it. As for the ms, your x husband is the one with the problem, but you are strong, you may have ms but you are a fighter. Good to hear from you again, I hope your circumstances improve and don't ever let any one laughing at you be a problem, it's them who have the problem not you, at least you know what's wrong with you, they need help. God bless Jimeka

  • Thank you Jimeka!

  • Shelly,

    I am proud of you for doing what is best for you & your girls!! I know it is hard to put ourselves first, I bet especially as a mom, but you deserve to be loved, supported, and treated with respect! I know your daughters will respect and love you more for doing what is in all of your best interest.

    Stay strong!!

    I am in your cheering section!!! If you need any support during this difficult time or just need to vent drop me a message. Know we are with you. Virtual HUGS!!!

    p.s.

    I am in a similar boat with not wanting to always be the target of negativity, sarcasm, or verbal abuse which has escalated in my relationship since my diagnosis with MS. I just ended a 5.5 year relationship this week with someone who I thought I would marry. He is coming to get his belongings from my place tomorrow morning. I'm sure it is not as challenging nor compares to a divorce, with kids; but I empathize with you as much as I can. <3

  • Hi Shelly36 Divorce is never easy, but sometimes it is right. For you and your girls.

    I have been in the same boat as you. 7 yrs in, 3 girls it's a hard decision to make. Til he threatened my daughter. He forgot my number 1 rule, you don't f*** with my kids. Next day there was a restraining order against him.

    It's scary Shelly, and know that it's HIS problem, not yours! I pray you have a good support system at home. To help you along the path you choose. ♡

    Know we are always here for no matter what you choose to do. And the MSAA has amazing resources that might be able to help you.

    mymsaa.org/

    Toll-Free Helpline: (800) 532-7667 MSAA

  • Thank you Jesmcd2, I don't have anyone else to get support from or talk with. I though he was my best friend but I was wrong.

  • Shelly36 how are you hanging in there? I wanted to let you know you can always message me also :) How far away is your family?

    And we are here for you also! ♡

    Jes ♡

  • My mom and brother live right downvthe street from me. The rest of my family's in Florida. He was supposed to be there for me!

  • Hi Shelly36 lm glad to hear that you're mom and brother live down the st. :) lm sure they are a support. And helping with your kids?

    I wish l had the answers for you. And all l can say is it really will get better. What l can tell you is that, you can't control what others think, only what you think. So start putting positive thoughts in your mind. And taking a breath, say that it WILL be ok!

    Hang in there Shell

    You can also get ahold of MSAA if you feel you need something and they can point you in the right direction ok?

    Toll-Free Helpline: (800) 532-7667 MSAA

    Jes ♡

  • I wish they could help more but they work. I'm on disability now so I know the bills will be covered with my money. I haven't told them about him leaving. My brother will be pissed!

  • Umm you might want to, you need there support! :)

  • You are all amazing! Momma bear comes out when protecting your kids. I'm sorry he threatened for child. It hasn't gotten that far for my girls but I'm not waiting to see me rip him a new one if he tries. Right now he's somewhere proly with a girlfriend with $800 of my money. He'll be off my account come Monday

    He does have a problem, he's selfish, arrogant, a bully, a drunk and he lost us because of it.

  • Shelly36 It takes a strong person to do this, especially when you're sick and kids are involved. I'm sure you're going to experience a lot of emotions being on your own, but in the end the stress and hurt you got from your husband will help you to heal emotionally and physically. Stress can be damaging. Next, you are doing the right thing by your kids. Them growing up in this environment isn't good. They need to see their father love and nurture you especially in your current state. It may be hard on your children, but in the end they will grow up more stable being away from the abuse. I wish you the best and will pray for you and your family.😊

  • It will be okay. My girls keep asking where he is and when he will be home. All I can tell them is he went away. We haven't seen him in 5 days and I don't think he'll be back

  • Beautifully said Judi4 wish I had someone like you around when l was going through this. :)

  • Thanks Judi4. I needed the boost😃

  • I'm sorry for your circumstances. Dealing with our MS is plenty to deal with. Though I hated even the thought of divorce, I didn't have much choice due to the intensity of his problems, but I have remarried a wonderful man who loves me unconditionally. I wouldn't wish the pain of divorce on anyone. But you will get to the other side soon, and you have every opportunity to restructure your life in a much healthier way now. It's so good to learn from the past and then work toward something better.

    Keep going.

  • Well, I am going to be in the same direction soon. I am in a relationship since 2012 and got married last year by his wish. It was a wrong decision since the beginning because I started this new relationship with a common agreement to help each other as partners and dealing together with health issues from each other. I have medical background and being close to him I was able to manage and improve his health using Integrative Medicine. But since the beginning of this relationship my autoimmume system ,MS got worse and no help. I stopped work and then I learned I went to a relationship with a Sociopath .Now I getting little better mentally but still lots of fatigue and need to start new DMT. I will get divorce as soon I stabilize myself because I am not working at all. I started to spread the news to everybody and feeling better.

  • Hang in there Miriade we wish you the best of luck!!

  • Miriade , stay strong and put yourself first. Always. Get rid of him as soon as you can and don't look back. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine going through this without MS, let alone with it. Sukie427

  • Shelly36 glad you've gathered the courage to move on. Wishing you the best! 💕

  • ROCK ON SISTER!!! Been there, done that, and it's SOOOOO much BETTER on the other side without his drama... Stay strong and move on... xo Cj

    PS: Now I live with my dogz only... Anyone else will have to buy the house next door... that would be close enough!!!

  • Aren't dogs just the greatest??? Unconditional love, totally non-judgmental, they can't wait until you come home and snuggle with them! And they are great listeners!

  • I love my dogs so much !! They are such great support and unconditional love

  • Sorry to hear that you are going through so much. All the stress could not be good for you or your girls.

  • Ah Shelly36, it's Fancy1959, you are one smart lady. Nobody needs or deserves such treatment. Making fun of you and being violent to you are unforgivable actions. To have stayed would of taught your daughters that women are no more than punching bags. I believe it is okay to put your soon to be ex down. He deeserves it! And notice i didn't refer to him as your husband. Husband is a term that denotes a protector and a provider. And from what you said about him he is neither of those, he is an abuser and a degrader! You don't need any man who does that to you!

  • Thank you Fancy! I know I'm strong and can do this without him. I'm just mad at myself for taking so long to make this decision.

  • Shelly, Dont be mad at yourself, just be proud. You made a stand to protect you and your children!! Brave act, smart act, happy life shift!! Be strong and carry on..you're in my thoughts & prayers! 🙏🏼

  • Shelly, I am so proud of you! You are truly an MS Warrior. It probably looks daunting now, but it will work out and will be so much better for you and your children in the long run. May God bless you in the time ahead! Kelly xxx

  • Shelley, you are doing the right thing for you and your children. Anyone who makes fun of you because you have the MonSter is a monster himself and doesn't deserve you or your children. Be strong and you can do this. G-d bless you and give you strength. We are always here for you. Sukie427

  • Thank you all so much! It took me a couple weeks to realize this is the best thing for me and my girls. You're right nobody deserves the abuse. As Dory says, "Just keep swimming ". I love that line!

  • It's been 5 days since I've seen him, all his clothes are packed and waiting for him in the garage. The money that was left I paid bills and now I've been on a cleaning spree without him over my shoulder telling me it's wrong.

  • He wants to talk tonight. What should I do?

  • Hi everyone! He came home Thursday night and we had a very long talk. He agreed to not drinking everyday, to not bullying me anymore and to not ever hit or grab me again. He slept in the car and wasn't with anyone else. He spent the $ at casinos and on beer. He seems to be better now

  • As long as your not stressed , That is what matters ! Stress is terrible with this ms

  • Good for you. !!!!!!

  • Sorry I read the first part ! Then the whole thread 😳

  • Np at all 😋

  • Hey Pistol glad to see you back :)

  • Well it didn't last long. He's back to drinking everyday and blaming me for everything. I don't clean the house enough, I don't talk to him anymore and I make him miserable. He's back to putting me down and everything is my fault. I can't deal with him anymore. I have enough of my own shit to deal with.

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