I was diagnosed in 1988 (doctors thought I had MS since 1978) and am new here. There were times I didn't think I would recover from a serious relapse. Although I recovered, there were "leftovers" from the attack that became permanent. Sometimes anger and frustration took, and take over. Mostly, though, as I'm struggling, I like to, and want to, make the most of the life I have. Currently, I'm homebound and don't see very many people (thanking God for the internet). Some things I can't change, some things I can, and some things I don't want to change because it takes too much energy. Mostly, the "pie in the sky" writings make me angry because those writers rarely acknowledge the downside, the horror of MS. Yes, I do have joy in my life and I smile a lot and I'm pretty happy. But, that isn't what I experience all of the time. The severe pain and struggle is also present, more than I'd like it to be present. I know where my "center," my "self," resides. Hope and joy are there along with sorrow - it's called bittersweet. That is my life with MS - Bittersweet.