Ocd family member how do you help them

[Pt15]

I want to help my sister who has OCD severely and I'm not sure how to help please help me help her

[LuvSun]

Is she currently being treated for her OCD? You can show her this forum and get her involved with many other people suffering like her.

[mind-full in reply to LuvSun]

Books are great too! Buy her a book on the subject. I only needed to read one to learn why I felt “broken”, and, how to start fixing it.

If your sister is genuinely interested to overcome OCD, her journey to better health has already begun. There will be good days and bad days. Wins and loses. Stay strong. Stay standing.

I’m rooting for her! Good luck.

[P1ckles55 in reply to mind-full]

May I ask what book it was called?

[mind-full in reply to P1ckles55]

Certainly! However, the message I want to communicate most to anyone suffering from OCD is not a book endorsement. What I want to say (no matter how cliche) is:

“You’re not alone.”

Personally, the first (and only) OCD related book I read opened my eyes by teaching me that my intrusive thoughts didn’t make me a monster. They made me an OCD sufferer. No matter what (or who) it takes to convincingly “teach” this, it needs to be learned before recovery can begin.

The book I thank for helping when I needed help most taught me the fine line we “sufferers” cross between guilt and shame. It explained the strength of intrusive thoughts and their ego-dystonic nature. It illustrated the OCD cycle, and encouraged me to challenge it.

That (said) book was theme specific, so if you find it relevant, I sincerely recommend:

Overcoming Harm OCD: Mindfulness and CBT Tools for Coping with Unwanted Violent Thoughts (Jon Hershfield MFT)

Thanks! For asking.

[mind-full]

Welcome to the forum. Let me say: your sister is fortunate to have you. Of my family, a brother (one) has shown an interest in understanding my experience with OCD. He listens. Inquires. Even educates himself to some extent. All of this lifts my spirit in ways I consider: extremely helpful. He also challenges me, realizing that exposure therapy is the gold standard.

How do you help your sister?

Start by joining an OCD forum. Next, listen to her. Ask questions. Talk. Be compassionate, but, challenge her powerful urge to live compulsively. Be an example of “normal” that she can love and respect. Be supportive.

Lastly, refrain from helping your sister perform compulsions. It’s not helpful. If she’s afraid to drive to the grocery store, don’t drive for her. Offer to ride along. If she insists on washing her hands again before dinner, show her how the five second rule works. Your sister is trapped in an obsessive and extreme way of thinking. Challenge it.

Best wishes. Sincerely.

[Natureloverpeace]

I would encourage her to check out the IOCDF website, iocdf.org. There is stuff on there for you too. This is one of the best websites, in my opinion, to learn about OCD and related disorders as well as to find treatment, resources, livestreams and support. The IOCDF has a Clinical and Scientific Board with some of the top OCD specialists and researchers in the field. They also have some live and virtual conferences during the year including the big annual one which is virtual November 23rd and 24th.

[Sallyskins]

It's often difficult for partners, family and friends of someone with OCD too, as OCD impacts on those around them.

But support from family and friends is really important. It's a lonely condition, and difficult for others to understand and one can feel really isolated with it. Be patient with your sister, and let her know you're there for her.

I've found it most helpful when I've having an OCD incident (for me, that often involved retracing my steps, or doing rituals, or re-doing what I've just done) if people don't interfere too much. Just let me get on with it. Comments to the tune of 'just snap out of it' or 'you're doing really well' just get in the way of my concentration, no matter how well meant.

So just waiting patiently while I retrace my steps, or repeat my actions etc, really helps!

Therapists often say to family and friends 'Don't facilitate the OCD'. So if she's really struggling with something, it's best not to offer to do it for her, or alter your own behaviour to accord with her OCD. That said, it can be difficult not to! It's hard to watch someone in distress and just stand by.

So if she's really unable to do something because of the OCD, or she asks you to accommodate her, it's all right to help out. Exposure therapy needs to be gradual - too much, too soon, can overwhelm the OCD patient and lead to a set back.

A good self help book is The OCD Workbook - it explains how OCD works, with exercises she can adapt to her own form of OCD. It also has a fairly extensive section aimed at family and friends. I've found it really helpful - perhaps read it yourself and suggest she reads it!

[Zilmita]

There are plenty of ways to help your sister. 1st, suggest (nicely obviously) that she go see a therapist and that you'll go with her to support her. 2nd, find out why/what is making her behave in such a way. It can be anything really. Maybe she's extremely stressed, maybe she's extremely anxious, etc. 3rd, do research on this topic to see what others have gone through and see if they have any suggestions or/and tips on how to help your sister. 4th, distract her from what's making her ask in such a way. Maybe take her to see a movie, out to have a coffee, anything to get her out of that environment that's making her behave in such a way. 5th, don't judge her at all. She's already feeling bad. Judging her will make her feel worse. Talk to her in a kind/loving way. Show her that you care. That her issues isn't making you think that she's crazy. Get to know what's happening in her mind. Do something that makes her happy. That'll (hopefully) distract her from the anxiety she might be feeling. I hope that this helps you. Good luck.