Last weekend my OCD from the past two years imploded on me, I instantaneously fell into severe depression. While I've struggled for twenty years, the last ten were tough but there were times it got better with help.
In July 2021 I underwent some kind of episode...people going to "special places" bothers me if I feel the person has contaminations. I thought someone I knew said they were going to visit there, I cried for two days. I quit my job, I went to work for the college I went to. My new job was filled with triggering contaminations for me, I did my best to try to work past it because of the benefits.
It started to get better butI withdrew from my relatives in the house thinking I would bring contaminations home with me so I hid from them in the house. I tried to justify why this job was better or why the people were
I don't like gifts from people outside my relatives, for the holidays some of my co-workers gave me very nice gifts the last two years but I'm scared to touch them.
Recently I needed to undergo colon surgery for the third time. One of my co-workers put their get well note in my vehicle. I was mortified cause my car is super sentimental to me even though what they did was super nice. My mom wiped my car off, we said that because my car was covered in gunk then my car wasn't touched directly but it still bothers me.
Rememeber why I quit my last job? Now I'm tormented weekly by people with "contaminations" telling me they're going to special places of mine-places I felt safe, sentimental, or special because I spent time with loved ones there.
I'm religious, I believe God can do lots of things so I've been praying for days for God to fix this for me, to take me backwards in time to not ruin everything or to fix my thing like these things didn't happen.
Nobdy I know is willing to join me in prayers for this so it's been super hurtful, I've seen incredible prayers of theirs come to pass with no natural explanations.
I'm inconsulable, tired, hungry, scared...I've lots the progress I was working towards in CPT.
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PinetownTree
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When you find a med that works for you, it will be easier to do CBT. The medication will take the edge off of the OCD symptoms, making it easier to concentrate on and do what your therapist is teaching you, both to work on at home and in the sessions. You wouldn't be bombarded with the thoughts that are hindering your recovery now.
I am sorry you are having a hard time. I truly hope you start to feel better soon. We are all here to support you with anything you may need.
I'm really sorry you're having a hard time right now I truly am. I understand depression far too well and know how difficult that can be for you and the people around you.
Disclaimer: Not a doctor, but how long have you been trying the medicine? For me when starting a new medicine it usually takes me about 2 weeks to start to feel its effects. Also for me, when starting a new SSRI I usually feel wired, insomnia, and anxious initially. It usually takes me about 2 weeks to feel any effect. Luckily my doctor prescribed Ambien and Ativan to help with the transition. I was put on 1 med that was not a fit for me and I had some extreme reactions to, so its important to talk to your doctor especially in the beginning. It's fine if the Escitalopram wasn't a fit. Unfortunately, you may have to try some different medications before you find one for you It's good that you have a therapist that is working with you.
I don't know if it will help, but a while ago I put together a post for people who are just starting out detailing some of the things I've learned while living with OCD. If you'd like, give it a look. I hope it will provide you with some hope/insight.
I will pray for you friend. I will pray that you find the help, support, and peace you truly deserve. I know it may feel like it sometimes, but God has not abandoned you. He's working through those around you. It may not come in the time or way you want but He is beside you. You are strong. You are capable. You are loved.
You generally need at least 20mg of lexapro to help with OCD . I've been on them for 31 years with mild OCD I also take clonazepam if I get stuck in a loop. Exercising also helps. I have mild OCD and I couldn't function without my meds. The depression is probably because you realize how much this disease is controlling you. This can get better with meds and therapy. I feel for you.
I’m so sorry you are feeling so bad. I am too right now. You responded to one of my posts so I know be both suffer greatly with contamination OCD. ERP feels soooo scary! I’m tired of all of this too. I will pray for you…we can conquer this!!
Please be with this brother who needs your guiding and healing hand. Help him know that you are more powerful than the all things in this world and you protect him. Even if things become contaminated, you Lord are able to cleanse us everyday. Thank you God for being with this man.
I can't console myself, it's like last weekend the weight of everything broke me. It's like in in some kind of fog, even worse is that lots of people from my job have started moving to special places of mine so it's bothering that side of me.
So sorry to hear about your condition. As an OCD sufferer myself, I would like to advise that identify your triggers and engage in behavior that evokes your anxiety and do it again and again until it becomes normal. Because if you'll try to run away from your fears then you're ultimately enforcing your intrusive thoughts to be true and giving them more weightage. The more you perform your rituals, OCD will get stronger. Just remember, thoughts are not you. Try reading DSM5 TR and it will help you understand your condition in a better way. ERP is the gold standard and works for sure with the right medication. So, try consulting your physician for the right medication. Also, if possible let the people around you know about your condition and tell them to be patient with you. A couple of things that have helped me personally are watching movies that increase my anxiety and watching them over and over again until it becomes just a normal routine, exposing myself to my fears and trying not to do the compulsions, spending time with my family, reading books, especially DSM5 TR. I have been completely sober for the past couple of months and it helped to manage my anxiety in a better way. I understand that path to recovery is tough but it is not impossible. With the right help, you can definitely get better my friend. Just always remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and never lose hope. I wish you all the luck and wish you a speedy recovery.
It's been people from work constantly traveling to, moving to, or finding out they have relatives in special places of mine, usually it doesn't happen too often but in the past two weeks it's completely overwhelmed me because I think people take contaminations to those places sentimental to me.
I'd like to do some things where I live in the next few weeks but I can't because I'm so weak, so scared from everything going on...I'm praying non-stop God helps me in some way so I can function.
Firstly, I would like to assure you that you’re not weak. You’re very strong because the pain you’re enduring, only strong people can bear that. Secondly, I wanna tell you that God will definitely hear your prayers but before that you got to help yourself. Remember god help those who help themselves. Furthermore, I would like to suggest that whenever you have panic attack regarding contamination ocd, don’t fight with it or try to stop it because you’ll not be able to do that. Whereas, simply remember that thoughts are not you. Try doing the things opposite than what your mind says to do. Try not to do the rituals whenever you fear being contaminated. You can try meditation, it will definitely help you. Some of the medication that helped me with my contamination ocd are Ativan, Sertraline, Alpha lipoic acid, Baclofen etc. But the bottom line is get help from a registered practitioner and don’t run away from your contamination fears. I understand it is hard but keep trying and you’ll emerge victorious and you can definitely defeat ocd. Wishing you all the luck!
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My introduction and my experience with OCD
What Contamination OCD Actually Looks Like!
Just not enough time!
Mysophobia/contamination
