I’m constantly counting my steps in my head and of course there’s particular numbers I try to avoid. At this point, it feels natural to just start counting as soon as I start walking. I try to distract my mind with thinking about something else, but I still feel like I’m counting.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!
Are you pursuing treatment? Treatment does take patience, it's not a quick fix, but ERP has been shown to be the most beneficial approach, statistically.
Regards.
I’m currently just attending therapy, but my therapist is not an expert in OCD, so I’m currently looking for some exercises to try at home, or find someone that does specialize in ERP. Thank you for your response.
IOCD Foundation website has a directory. If you look at thumbnail descriptions of therapists' approaches online, the other phrase you can look for is "desensitization." But that word doesn't guarantee the provider is trained in ERP. If you strike out with the online directory you can contact them. I did that to find someone for my son and they gave me a clinic that hadn't been listed on their website. The other thing you can do is invite your therapist to pursue training with IOCD. The training includes follow-up mentoring of the therapist. I hope you'll keep us posted. You might find Fred Penzel's articles interesting. They pre-date the advent of the home exercises but I find them fascinating. wsps.info/articles-by-frede...
Thank you, I will keep you posted!
I try to walk as much as i can so in that way i get used to the feeling of trying to stop counting the steps. If you contain yourself from walking in times when you should walk to do stuff, this means you will focus on the steps and in numbers as well. I also have number anxiety and i can relate to what you are saying, but i don't really know how to give you any tips.
Yeah, it’s definitely a struggle. Thanks for your response. The more I do walk the more I typically don’t count as well.
My steps eventually became "shuffles", particularly in one room of the house. The reason was clear. Included among my family is a small parrot whose cage we keep in the living room. In fear of somehow knocking this cage to the ground and causing harm to our beloved pet, I began shuffling. Shuffle 1, shuffle 2, shuffle 3. Stop. Look around the room. Repeat. Shuffle 1, shuffle 2, shuffle 3, and so on and so forth. I also count while checking: taps and switches for example.
My advice stems from the assumption that all counting is inspired by that "just right" feeling of which most OCD themes are based. I'm happy to report that I no longer shuffle - or count my steps - thanks to the more active and experienced members in this online community. Counting doesn't "feel natural", otherwise you wouldn't be here sharing your problem. It feels "right." So plan to stop counting, and count on it to feel very wrong (uncomfortable). Tell yourself before you take that first step: "This is going to feel wrong." It will, I promise you, but each step you take without counting is one step closer to recovery. And that's the right thing to do.
Additionally, distracting yourself with "something else" is just one compulsive behaviour replacing another. You need to walk without counting, and you can! At this point in my own recovery, I still pause a moment before taking that first step and remind myself: "This is going to feel wrong." Then I walk across the room - without counting. I'm that much closer to recovery, and it feels good. It feels natural.
Good luck, sh0526, and best wishes.
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