Mental Rituals

[ReadyFreddy]

Hi, everyone,

I have these obsessive mental rituals that I do to try and find the single perfect way to be happy. It's so illogical and ironic because it diminishes my happiness. Even recognizing this, I still can't seem to come to terms with it. For example: I'm trying to find the best universal way to achieve perfect happiness. Then I start comparing my options like journaling, meditating, exercise, etc. For some reason, my brain doesn't like the idea that it can be more than one option. I find I spend endless hours reading about psychology to try and find the answer, and it just makes me feel depressed.

[Ocdwarrior]

I struggle with something similar. If I feel like I'm struggling with something. For example, a little while ago I got obsessed with the thot that I was binge eating. So I researched how to get better. My eating got worse, it was depressing. Once I stopped trying so hard, my eating had got better and it doesn't bother me anymore.

I just wanna do things the "right" way. Which there isn't always one right way. And that can be really hard for a perfectionist.

I don't really have any answers but once you stop being obsessed with trying to find perfect happiness, my guess is you will find happiness and freedom. I would say stop trying to do what everyone else says makes them happy. And instead do what you know makes u happy and you enjoy, even if it's weird or different from everyone else. We are all unique. And I think that's beautiful when we can each just be ourselves.

Also maybe treating it like any other OCD thot would be helpful. Like saying oh yeah maybe I'm not doing this the right way. Maybe I'll never have perfect happiness." And just accept the uncertainty without researching. Anyway hope this helps.

[Gilderoy10]

This is something I am struggling with as well, my OCD is attached to a trauma that happened several years ago. Real event OCD specifically, as I know that I was not at fault, but my OCD likes to tell me to doubt this.

I think I have googled everything about self forgiveness, OCD ERP for real event, how to find happiness, meditation, tapping, medications, supplements, journaling; read 20 books in a month about forgiveness, therapy, unlocking your brain. THERES TOO MUCH. Because none of it is the right answer for every one. Your compulsion is searching for the answer. I took social media off my phone (what a BIG help) and stopped googling, searching, reading, and it has helped me settle so much.

My rumination and 'pure O' is still there 100% but its control on trying to find a fix is waning. I am working on understanding that only I get to decide what is right for me. Stop looking at other peoples opinions, judgement, and thoughts on your life scenarios.

I really think in this scenario, taking away for a while is your 'exposure.' Put the books away, put your phone away, fight the urge to 'google' and just do and be yourself. Cook a meal from a cookbook, read fiction, color/draw, your brain might not shut off, but your fighting you compulsion.

Deep breathing and getting outside helps me when I am anxious, because maybe if I google one more thing, I will find the reassurance I so desire. Its never coming. There is no black and white. And it makes me PISSED that I just cant find the answer, get over this, heal, but I am stuck with this OCD and rumination.

I feel for you, please know your not alone in wanting happiness and fixating on it.

[Ocdwarrior in reply to Gilderoy10]

Great tips Gilderroy10! I need this!

[Eli_E in reply to Gilderoy10]

thank you for the reminder to put away the books- i needed to hear that!

[JumpinBean in reply to Gilderoy10]

As I get to know my Pure O temptations, I realize that resisting the urge to search for the perfect answer or the right answer needs to be one of my goals. Thanks for sharing Gilderoy10!

[Eli_E]

Hi! I for sure have been dealing with something similar. It actually took me a while to realize this was one of my themes because it is so wrapped up in my story of myself being an organized, responsible, type-a problem solver. However, I eventually realized that I was so preoccupied with figuring out the "right" path that would lead me to happiness success, etc that it was really limiting me. It is like every choice had become a test of is this something that will put me on the "right" path - which of course is super stressful and puts too much weight on every decision. In hindsight, I can tell that reading a lot about manifestation definitely contributed to this.

Right now I am struggling with this in particular in relation to job hunting. It's like I want to know now is this the "right" job that I am applying to and the act of trying to figure it out (which I now recognize as OCD) really paralyzes me. Right now I am just doing a lot of calling out my OCD and saying things like I have no idea OCD if this is the job that will lead to perfect happiness or make miserable, but I'm going to apply anyway. This is definitely a process because as I said, I think this is a theme I've been living with for a while without recognizing it so it can be challenging to look at my habits and patterns and determine if they are actually fueled by OCD. But it feels like the more I at least acknowledge the better I get at dealing with it by not engaging with those thoughts