Living with someone who has OCD

[Boo8934]

Hello, i am joining this group in hopes of being able to help my husband. He had some things that have manifested over the years ( we have been together for 27years). I would say he was at a level 6-7 on a scale of 10 but then he went up to a level 12 after his mom passed away in 2018. He is very difficult to live with. He has too many triggers, some are just plain unavailable. I am inconvenienced at every turn and its very frustrating to say the least. I have been trying not to get caught up in his trigger but he really knows how to press my buttons to get me involved in an argument. I feel like i am arguing with a 7yr old sometimes. Any advice i can get would be helpful.

[NovaOllie]

Has he done ERP therapy? It's not too late to try if he has not. My 20 year old son lives with us and for over two years we have been walking on eggshells. His OCD has really impacted our lives for years, it was only 6 years ago that we had a correct diagnosis. He's been in therapy on and off since he was 4. The gold standard for OCD is ERP therapy. Does your husband have insight about his disorder? If he does the ERP can give him the tools to fight his OCD. Look on the IOCDF website to find an ERP therapist. Good luck. Please let me know how it goes.

[Boo8934 in reply to NovaOllie]

Sadly he refuses to go to any type of therapy. He thinks he can fix himself. He researches into it like one of his obsessions which also does more harm than good, sometimes and he only will recognize the information that backs up his own beliefs.

[NovaOllie in reply to Boo8934]

How about marriage counseling? Would he consider that? I don't know how severe your husband's OCD is, but living with my son is unbearable. It might be time for you to find your own therapist to help you deal with your emotions. I think it really helps. I've been going for about 9 months and it has made a huge difference in how I respond to my son's OCD. My son has severe OCD. Do you have kids? Family therapy should be considered as well.

[Hidden]

This sounds like a really tough situation and it's so hard not to get caught up in a loved one's obsessions because they know exactly how to push your buttons. I have OCD and one of my obsessions is fear of doing harm. When my (mentally ill) daughter calls me to ask for money she always talks about how they have no petfood and how hungry her animals are. I've only recently learned to ignore that! If your husband refuses to go to therapy, I'm going to make the "Dear Abby" suggestion and advise that you try going yourself, so at least you can get some support and may get some ideas on how to disengage from his rituals and compulsions. Ugh, very tough!!! Sending virtual hugs.