Trying not to give in to OCD right now!!!... - My OCD Community

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Trying not to give in to OCD right now!!! Help!!!

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So my biggest ocd is putting way too much deodorant on because I’m afraid I’ll sweat, smell or be sticky if I don’t. But what ends up happening is that I end up putting way too much on and my underarms end up getting wet and sticky and getting the sides of my shirt wet to where you can see it on my shirt. And I don’t know why I have this ocd about it even though I never exercise or sweat and even when I put a regular amount of deodorant on in my head I’m still believing that it’s not enough and I’m going to smell even though i smell like my deodorant scent. And I had been doing good today and only looked at my underarms twice which is amazing and didn’t even feel them. And I also only put on a regular amount of deodorant twice in the same place and i don’t know if that’s why it felt sticky and wet compared to my four or six time. But when I got back from doing my groceries my arms felt weird and I looked and it looked like my underarms were wet so I looked and felt twice and they were a little wet and I smelled them and they still smelt like my deodorant then all of a sudden they turned dry and felt dry and I don’t know if them feeling sticky at the same time as they’re dry is in my mind or not or because I put t on twice in the exact spots not even a minute after I put it on the first time and I don’t want to do that if it’s going to make my shirt sticky. And that’s why right after I put deodorant on I don’t put my arms down and leave them up and I don’t know if that has to do with why my underarms felt wet and sticky after I was driving even though they still smelt like the scent of my deodorant. But I’m trying to resist but the thoughts, urges, and anxiety is so strong that I literally was thinking back and forth about whether or not I should put more on or not because I’ve read about how if you’ve put on a lot of deodorant on especially with aluminum you have a higher chance of getting cancer. And the thoughts, anxiety, and urge to put more on is so strong that I was literally kneeling on the stairs with my eyes closed grabbing part of the carpet of the stairs so I wouldn’t give in and put more on. But I’m also afraid if that now that it’s dry after it felt sticky and wet it’s going to make my shirt sticky. Since my thoughts are so bad and overpowering I literally have to grab on to something to keep my hands from giving into my compulsions and anxiety. Any thoughts of wisdom?

13 Replies

Hi Christine - This sounds so much like you're having a severe chemical imbalance right now. I don't recall what meds you're on, but the right med should be able to help this a lot. These thoughts are very irrational. They aren't anything to worry about (the aluminum advice may have truth to it). I know I won't be able to convince you not to worry because your brain is demanding that you worry about this irrational idea. I wish for you that you find the right help.

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I know I’ve been dealing with this for at least the last 13 years I think it got worse when they diagnosed me with adhd and put me on adderall. But, maybe I’ve really never had adhd and all of it was my anxiety/ocd. I go to counseling every Friday and see a marriage and family therapist intern and I know she can’t prescribe medicine and isn’t completely specialized specifically in ocd but I’m going to talk to her and see if she can tell me which meds might be good for my ocd. Because right now I’m just on 10 mg of escalitopram for depression and I see my doctor every month just for check up and I have an appointment on Wednesday morning. So, when I see her I’m going to tell her about my symptoms and see if I can either get a referral to a psychiatrist or the meds that are most used to help with ocd. And if not they have a free mental health clinic in my town where there are psychiatrists. And this isn’t the only ocd issue I have I have to make sure both sides of my bedsheets are exactly even with one another, I have to have things in even numbers like piercings; and when I was in high school when we would have to write in note books if the letters were not even or one was bigger than the other I would erase and write and erase and rewrite so much that sometimes the paper would end up ripping.

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And I know it’s irrational but I just can’t help myself because I’m afraid something bad will happen. So I’m hoping my counselor will give me advice tomorrow because even though she’s not for medication always I feel like my thoughts are so overpowering and irrational that they completely control me and I would just like something to at least help them calm down. Because I know they’ll never 100% go away but if I can get something that helps calm them down and make them not so overpowering where I’m thinking about it almost every minute of everyday then I would like that. But I am still proud of myself that when the anxiety regarding putting on more deodorant care up and got so strong I just grabbed the carpet on the stairs as hard as I could and closed my eyes for a few minutes until the voice/ thought started slowly and quietly dying down. So, that was a big step for me.

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Hi Christine - It sounds like you have insight into your specific issue. The right med can definitely help you calm down some at least.

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Yeah I would love that. I know my moms been worried about me being too medicated since my 86 year old grandma has a problem with taking too many pills. But I think there’s definitely a big difference between her who goes to see doctors all the time and me who’s been diagnosed by my counselor as ocd and whose thoughts are so intense and overpowering that i have to think about it every minute of everyday and grab carpet just so I won’t give in and do my obsession over and over again. And whose life is controlled by it and whose brain can’t stop thinking about it even though I know they’re irrational.

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This is SO true, Christine. I don't know if your grandma takes too many pills or not, but you definitely do need some help just the same as most of us do who are here on this forum. Almost all of take meds for our OCD.

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Thanks that makes me feel a lot better Hopefully my counselor or doctor can get me a referral to a psychiatrist or my doctor know enough about ocd to know what medicine would be best for my ocd.

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I'm sure one of those will happen for you. You deserve it. Just remember that.

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Thanks I hope it happens.

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I’m jut getting anxious about trying to talk to my mom about how my ocd is staying the same/ not getting any better and sometimes getting worse. And telling her when I go to my doctors appointment on Wednesday I’m going to tell my doctor about my symptoms and see if I can get a referral to a psychiatrist or someone who specializes specifically in ocd

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Hi Christine - I don't know your age, so it's hard for me to respond. I would hope that regardless of your age, your mom will support what you need to do for yourself. Just remember that we who have OCD understand what you have been going through with your anxiety & compulsions.

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And I have a really hard time with the deodorant because the middle of my underarms feel like they get a lot wetter or stickier than the sides of my underarms especially if I put a regular amount on where my underarms look normal and you can see a little amount of white from the deodorant and not my daily huge amount that make my underarms extremely white.

Does anyone know if degree is a good deodorant to use?

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