My husband Carl passed away last evening, very unexpectedly! I am still in shock. He had a regular day but after struggling to stand to be transferred with the help of my youngest son, he slipped to the floor and seem to pass out and then was gone. Just like that... We were married for 31 years and now I am alone.
I am thankful that he was at home and my son & I could be with him. I am thankful that it was very quick and painless. I am thankful that he is now at peace and no longer has the daily struggles with the horrible disease of MSA-C. I am selfishly thankful for making sure our family had this Christmas together, even though it broke our Covid-19 regulations. I will treasure and remember our last Christmas memory. I am thankful that my daughter didn't postpone her wedding until 2021 but that we saw her get married together... I squirrel that memory away too!
Most of all I am thankful for trying to take every opportunity to do what we could together for as long as we could. I am sure these are the memories which will sustain me these next long, lonely days.
I am thankful to you all, the MSA community for all of your wisdom, support and strength.
Celeste
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heysunshine
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So sad to hear your news. You will be so bereft but it is a comfort that his death was so quick and that you can be thankful that his suffering is over and you were able to do as much as you could for him. As time passes you willl be able get great comfort from the joys of his last Christmas and from memories. When you find yourself laughing at something you shared you know you are doing what he would have wanted for you and coming back to life again. Our thoughts are with you and your family
So very sorry to hear your news. I send you my sincere condolences. Nothing can prepare you for the shock and grief this brings but hopefully in time you will be able to remember the good times and a life well lived.
It sounds like you have some lovely memories to sustain you through the days ahead.
There are so many emotions you go through and everyone is different on their journey through grief. After my dad had died I remember my mum being consumed by grief and then a kind of relief that he wasn't suffering with MSA anymore. She then said how lonely she felt without him as he was the centre of her world and she had spent the last 10 years looking after him. That was her purpose in life and that had been taken away from her.
Eventually, she has come to accept his death and has been able to rekindle some friendships that had been neglected along the way. She has managed to carve out a different life for herself with the support of family and friends. She also has a much loved dog which had helped focus her mind on something other than grief. She will never forget my dad, and she still has days where a memory brings her such sadness, but she is in a much better place. I hope this gives you hope that things will get easier for you.
We send you our very deepest sympathies for your loss, and there's little anyone can say that hasn't already been said. It's impossible for anyone to know what to do or how to feel and I guess there's no one way, only your way which will be the right way....to you and your family & friends.
From what you have shared it seems that you've managed to do all of the important and memorable things that will, in time, provide so many good memories and play a big part in how your husband in remembered and cherished.
Good times will come back, memories will clear and skies will be blue again. Best wishes.
That must have been such a shock, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time. Like you said he was where he would have wanted to be. It will be some comfort to know he didn't suffer. Sharon x
oh celeste i’m so sorry to read this , such a shock for you , so glad your son was with you , my mum still struggles with my dad not being there , especially with the lockdown rules so glad you have family around , it really helps
I am so sad to hear your news, you have much to be thankful for. Take strength from those happiest moments if you can. Will add your prayers to my own. Xx
So sad to hear the news that all of us know is coming at some point in the future. But so pleased that you filled the time you had with so many wonderful family memories that you can all cherish and share.A true testimony to love.
Thank you both, Paul & Sue. You have both been a lamp to guide me on this journey.I was very lucky to be so cherished by my hubby. I will draw on the well of memories often.
I'm so very sorry for you and your families loss and am so glad that you have those last wonderful family memories to treasure. Over time this will get easier and you will remember with a smile instead of pain.
Were all still here and will continue to be so please don't feel alone.
My deepest sympathy, reading your message is heartbreaking. Those memories will always be there to cherish I will strive to keep on making memories with my husband and try to make each day count.
So sorry to hear Your sad news. You seem to have done all the things that were important to you together, but because it was so unexpected then you weren’t prepared and it will take time to deal with. All grieving is personal with no right or wrong things to do or ways to feel. It will be a huge shock for your son as well.
Wishing you peace and rest and time to enjoy happy memories.
Thank you Diane. We all know that it could happen anytime, but somehow it still took me by surprise!What I do know is that he has left a huge hole in my heart.
i know myself how powerful it was to have family around me at the moment i lost Gill. I'm sure Carl would know he was surrounded by love and you can't ask more than that
I am so very sorry for your loss. I know from my own experience just how empty life seems without your loving partner by your side. I chose to give myself a set time limit for grieving and then to build a life without Paul. 4 years on I have a different life. Still miss my beloved everyday but knowing he is disease free and that I did my very best for him gives me strength to carry on. Be strong, do whatever you want to get through this tragedy, just remember Carl has passed but the love you shared will never die?
CelesteIt is exactly a week ago today that my dearest sister died from MSA totally unexpextedly. It is the worst of times and I'm in tears reading your post. I keep on reminding myself that if she were alive today, she would be facing another day of abject pain. Along with everyone else here, I'm sending you the most enormous hug.
This saddens me to hear of your loss. My heart is hurting for you. I can only imagine the grief and loss you are feeling, as one day I will be in the same place as you and it terrifies me. It makes me smile thought to know you were able to share Christmas and your daughters wedding together. I know you will cherish those moments.
There seems to be waves of sadness and a flood of memories.Today I stayed in my jammies all day! Tomorrow I am going to bring the photo albums up to review them and take a trip down memory lane again.
Celeste, from across the Atlantic here in Ireland, my sincere sympathy to you and your son following Carl's death. I'm so glad you found lovely recent memories and that you can share them .
I'm sure you have many more and I hope they will keep you smiling for many years to come.
I have had msa for at least 4 yrs and each day I strive to stay positive and to take it one day at a time. Every day is a challenge.
So sorry to hear of your sad news. Glad you had a chance to have all the memories and a peaceful quick end to this stupid illness. <<<hugs>>> to you and your family.
Hello Celeste,There aren't the words to express the sadness you must feel. I hope you have the strength to look forward to brighter days when you will look back with love and warmth with a smile on your face as you think of all the lovely memories you made with Carl.
Thank you Ian. As a family we are really leaning into the memories as we spend our time together during this period. So glad we took so many pictures over the years. The kids are really glad we were always capturing the moment.Celeste
Hi Celeste,I am so sorry to hear your sad news. It must have been a terrible shock as for you and your son as it was so unexpected. My thoughts are with you but I also want to thank you for reminding us that making the most of every day is crucially important as it will mean there are no future regrets at having missed valuable opportunities. X
thank you Annietutt. It really does matter that you try to make each day count. I only had him for a 1/2 day when he passed unexpectedly. So as you do your best each day and do what you can... remember to create moments morning and night.
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Just want to say Hi.. 
My Dad and MSA
Saddest of News
RIP Debbie
