Please forgive my absence

[jillydabrat]

it feels like forever since I have posted but I do read everyone’s post everyday with interest.

I have been through a particularly hard 3 years and have felt the darkness of severe depression.

Most of you will know I lost my mum in 2020 to Covid, then my Aunty to the same vile virus the following January. I went into a shell, lost interest in everybody and everything. My health was deteriorating leaving my poor husband to become my carer. I had to leave my lovely house and garden on Teesside to move to a 2 bedroom, extra care living complex in the West Midlands. My family abandoned me after mum died thinking mum had left me a boat load of money but by the time I paid for her funeral (none of my siblings contributed), I was left with the grand sum of £750.

I had to leave one of my dearest friends when I left Teesside but we Skyped every weekend and had made plans for her visit this year. Just before Christmas I received a call from her son to tell me she had been found dead on the floor of her bedroom. I didn’t think I could stand life anymore.

I am now in a wheelchair after finally being diagnosed with osteoporosis. Before I could receive infusions I had to have some loose teeth removed. It was found that my bone loss was so great that my teeth are sitting in only 10% of jawbone.

I made the decision to move as my husband was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis so my best friend asked us to move close to her so she could help with care. So far we are managing but it’s nice to know we are close to someone who loves us dearly.

So, please see why I have been silent for so long. I have been under a very dark cloud but slowly the sunshine is coming through. I haven’t forgotten you all and your kindness, just not been able to participate in much.

[Cat1001954]

so sorry for your loss glad you have some friend to help wishing you well x

[krotsida in reply to Cat1001954]

Lifting you up in prayer and hoping you have a better day today.

[jillydabrat in reply to Cat1001954]

thank you, that means a lot

[Mostew]

Thank you so much for your post . Your openness is touching x You have been through such a lot . I'm glad you have quietly stayed in touch with us all and perhaps had some comfort from 'seeing' familiar folk on here.

Daffodils and snowdrops starting to appear .

May the clouds drift quickly revealing ghe warmth of the sun

Xx

[jillydabrat in reply to Mostew]

thank you, what a beautiful way of thinking x

[Cja1956]

I’m so sorry to hear about everything you went through. Life is like that and it can really be challenging to handle it all. I hope this year is a better one.

[azaelea]

So very sorry to read about what has been happening in your life. It’s understandable that you must have been totally crushed by losing your Aunt after the awful way you lost your Mum with Covid and not being allowed to visit her in James Cook. Then on top the tragic loss of your best friend up here. My sympathy and prayers go out for you. Brighter days are wished for you now and the future. I have often thought about you and wondered how you were after moving south. Take care! Love Fran💕🙏

[jillydabrat in reply to azaelea]

thanks my lovely, I promise not to be such a stranger xx

[katiewalsh]

Hi, I’m so glad you posted & brought us news. I’m sorry you’ve had such a painful time emotionally. I don’t have half your heartbreaks & I need anti-depressants. I remember the heartbreaking behavior of your family after your Mom died but more sorrow on top of that had to be almost unbearable. We’re so glad to have you back on here and I’m happy to hear you’ll be living close to someone who appreciates how really great you are. Katie

[Jazzyb50]

Thinking of you xx

[JojoWonder]

Wow, that is a lot. I’m sorry to hear all this has happened but glad things are finally looking a little brighter. Sending over love and light your way ❤️

[ciye]

What a sad time you have had, it's no wonder you have been depressed (such an inadequate word). It's good to hear you can see glimmers of sunshine and what a blessing your friend must be. Hopefully the sunshine will be brighter each day. Take care.

[Nickthedevil]

it’s good to here from you. I had been wondering how you were getting on in the midlands. Stratford on Avon isn’t it? So sorry you have gone through so much but I’m glad the sunshine is starting to peek through. I hope you find some peace and happiness from now on. Sending love to you. Karen xx

[Ratton]

Dear lady I feel so sad reading your mail.

I burst into tears.

All I can say is you have to carry on with life as best u can.

I feel for you and what you have been through.

Sending heartfelt ♥️ good wishes

To you for all the good things .

Sincerely

Susan aka ratton726 x

[Foodies]

so sorry to hear what you have been through. I pray for strength and courage for you in such darkness as well as a lifting of the dark clouds. 🙏🙏🙏

[champ30]

So sorry you have been through so much but pleased to hear you're coming out of the dark tunnel.Spring is around the corner so try to keep smiling ....be kind to yourself.Thinking of you Lynn.💞

[Oscarsboy]

Sometimes it is really hard to share the difficult things in life, tragedies of loss of loved ones and deterioration in health etc. Thank you for being so brave and expressing all the difficulties you have experienced. May the sun soon shine more fully day by day to see a clearer way ahead. I am sure many here will want to wish you so much better very soon.

[Hopetohelp]

My most heartfelt wishes and prayers that you feel better soon. That light at the end of the tunnel is there, you just have to see it. Hold on to it tightly. Easier said than done when you are in depression, especially with all the sad times you have been through. Isn’t it strange how sometimes in life friends are more understanding than family. Life is about who we meet along the way. Forgetting why we are on this site, we are here to help if you ever want to reach out for whatever reason. It sounds like you have had much more than your fair share to cope with. Big hugs x

[CLONDARA]

Sorry to hear about your sad losses, sending you love and prayers and continued improving health.

[MaggieSylvie]

Hi Jilly, Welcome back. I'm so sorry to hear what you have been going through - no wonder you didn't post anything, as life was continuing to throw mud at you. I can only imagine how you are feeling, but remember that we are here to talk to when you feel like posting. Just glad that you have survived all this negative stuff. I hope your new arrangements actually make a difference to you. 🤗

[jillydabrat]

it’s coming back to me why I used to love this group so much. The support is just so amazing. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart xxxx

[Poppy6060]

Hi jillydabrat was lovely to read your post you have had a few hard years I hope you can continue to keep feeling better and find some peace and joy again keep well best wishes Poppy

[beetle]

my recent ‘challenges’ pale into insignificance compared with yours. My heart goes out to you. My partner appears to suffer with depression and a lot of folk take a pull yourself together attitude through lack of understanding. I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through but so glad to hear that you now have the support of loving friends. Keep as well as you can and come here for support whenever you need it

Very best wishes , Jan

[Thankfulone]

So sorry to hear of your struggles, but grateful to hear you are starting to see some light. Sending you prayers and asking for peace and joy to comfort and heal your soul.🙏🏻🙏🏻

[hunter5582]

I am glad you decided to come back in to the community here on the forum. Very sorry to hear how rough things have been. I hope you will always know that you are not alone. There are others who care and wish you nothing but the best. You will be in thoughts and prayers. Wishing you better times and more joy on this journey.

All the best my friend.

[jillydabrat in reply to hunter5582]

Thank you my friend

[nightshadow]

Hi Jilly,

What a rough road you've been on. I hope the path forward for you is better and that you come to find as much love and support in your new home as in your old.

[Solyesh]

So sorry things have been so difficult. Please know that you have a community of people around the globe here that will lift you up in our thoughts and prayers!

[MAP44]

Hi Jilly, Sorry to hear of all the loss you have had in such a short time. Hopefully the assisted living apartment and having your friend so close helps you and your husband adjust to your new surroundings.

sending you lots of love and well wishes to you both. ❤️❤️

[redumbrella]

So sorry to hear that you've had such a hard time Jilly, hopefully things can get better from now on and you can slowly begin to enjoy life once more.

[Peachjoy]

dear jillydabrat, please don’t apologize. What has been thrown at you has been devastating. However, that you have rediscovered your voice here is in itself a positive development, that you are reappearing from under the dark clouds. You can also recognize the blessing of your best friend.

Many of us seem to post haphazardly, but , like you, we take strength from the support that is here and is given freely, unconditionally and when we need it.

I hope you and your husband are happy in your new environment.

[Phelpsy]

Thinking of you Jilly Xxx

Nice to have you back xx 😘

[Heidi-W]

So sorry to hear of all you have been through and what a brave open post to share with us. The move alone is a huge thing to do for anyone and extra hard in your circumstances. It sounds like your local friend is amazing and hopefully as others have said the signs of Spring will give you some cheer and hopefully those infusions will get your bones stronger again. I really hope 2023 is a better year for you and do keep posting whatever state of mind you are in as lots of lovely people on here thinking of you. Good luck. Heidi x