Visiting Son and Daughter in law

[azaelea]

I would like your thoughts on whether I should visit my Son and stay overnight this weekend. My husband and I would travel by car from North Yorkshire to Nottinghamshire. Up to now I've been shielding and haven't been in any other house. The guide lines are unclear. Fran

[elliebongo]

Hi, similar situation. Haven't seen my grandson (who's 5) since February. He finishes school this week and next week they are coming to stay for 2 or 3 nights. They live in Surrey and we are in Nottinghamshire. Just started taking hydrea but need to have some normality and see them all.

Love Yorkshire we holiday at levisham nr Pickering every year.

My view is go and see them and have a fab time.

Ellie

[elliebongo in reply to elliebongo]

Hi Fran, I may sound full of enthusiasm to see our grandchildren. But obviously this is your own individual choice. Whichever way you deal with this you must feel as safe as possible. No one needs covid in their life. I've got doubts about our visit, but I've made the choice to see them.

Stay safe Fran and well whatever your choice

[mhos61]

It’s a hard decision Fran.

I honestly feel at this stage, it’s a personal choice, as long as you’re comfortable with the idea and as safe as you possibly can be. However, consider your son and daughter in laws lifestyle too, who are they mixing with etc.

My personal choice at the moment, is to have nobody in my home, or to stay overnight anywhere. I don’t feel comfortable enough yet. My daughter lives in London, she has mentioned visiting, but although she is working from home, she is very much ‘out and about’ she also has her flat on the market - so viewers and estate agent visiting. When I point this out to her she gets it, but it is hard for all of us.

Good luck with your decision and don’t be swayed by my take on this. Interesting to hear others thoughts.

Mary x

[azaelea in reply to mhos61]

Thanks for your reply Mary. I think we will go but I am still deliberating. It is valuable to have other people's thoughts.

[elliebongo]

Hi Fran, I may sound full of enthusiasm to see our grandchildren. But obviously this is your own individual choice. Whichever way you deal with this you must feel as safe as possible. No one needs covid in their life. I've got doubts about our visit, but I've made the choice to see them.

Staysafe and well Fran whatever your choice

[azaelea]

Thanks Ellie. I value your opinion . I know you must be dying to see your grandson and family. Enjoy their visit. My haematologist told me on phone last week that Hydroxy is not too much of a risk in the Covid situation. It's the best of the other MPN medications . My son lives in Walesby, Notts. We're at Marske by the Sea, not too far from Pickering Regards Fran

[Otterfield]

For me an additional concern would be needing to stop at service stations to use the loo. Something worth considering.

[azaelea in reply to Otterfield]

It's a 2 hour journey . I'm usually OK . I most definitely wouldn't use a service station loo! Hate having to in normal circumstances.😀😀

[katiewalsh]

Hi. One big question is how strong your immune system is to reduce your risk of catching it & successfully fighting it if you catch it. Another important question is whether you age & health issues make you more vulnerable to the virus. Last is recognizing that whomever you deal with you’re being exposed to all the germs of the people they’ve been dealing with. I live in the US & we’re told between 20-40% of people with Covid have no symptoms but are contagious. I’ve also read the risk depends in part on how many people have Covid where you’d be going. If tests are widely available perhaps your son could get tested. It’s a very difficult decision. My husband & I are high risk & won’t be seeing family for many more months. Have you considered meeting half way at a park where you could visit for a few hours sitting outside 6-8 feet apart? It’s obviously not anywhere near as nice but at least you could safely see each other. Sure wish it was an option for me but all kids & grandkids are too far away for that. Good luck with your decision. Katie

[Chaz1]

I think one of the questions is, if you don't go, how long are you going to be before you do go? It's very much a personal choice but there is a strong chance that the virus is going to be around for a while yet & the concern of further local lockdowns. There is the indication that we are going to be wearing face masks etc.. into early next year so it could be a number of months yet before things change from how they are. The risks are alot lower now than they were even a month ago but we don't know what the next month or so will bring. If you don't go, are you going to wish you had gone while you could? If things continue as they are will you feel more comfortable in a couple of weeks? Only you can decide if you should go, guidelines say you can go but doesn't mean everyone feels they should,if your family have been sensible then why not🤷‍♀️

I've refused to go to a family party this week with 30 others because they have all shown pictures of themselves with other people in their houses all sat together not social distancing. I know they have all been where they shouldn't all the way through & the space we are going to be in is not big enough to social distance in family pods, let alone if it rains & using the loo. Hubby has the MPN but I run a business, if I get the virus that's all my work in self isolation & my business will end as can't not work for 2 weeks, we are a key business & have worked throughout. I was happy for hubby to go (its his family) but said he has to stay away for a fortnight. Might be extreme but it's how the others have been behaving that concerns me, Mother in law went to her hairdressers before they were allowed to reopen - she was supposed to be shielding due to age - no-one else was concerned by this breach. Me I'm like 😷😷😷

But sat in my friends garden last week, took our own drinks, sat miles away but was safe as I know she's really cautious.

[lizzziep in reply to Chaz1]

I know what you mean about the hairdresser, I am shielding and my next door neighbours, both 80, were, as he is ill with cancer. My husband was bringing all their shopping etc until he noticed the lady had had her hair cut, she'd still been going to her hairdressers home twice a week to have her hair done, as had many of her hairdressers other customers! Having her hair done was more important to her than her husbands health!

[Chaz1 in reply to lizzziep]

That's shocking!

[PhilReade]

Hi I’ve been isolating for 4 months I’ve no spleen on 1500 mg of hydroxycarbamide and heart problems but I’ve been to see my mum two weeks ago who’s 84 and my 3 year old granddaughter I’m careful I wear mask in public and take wipes and gel out with me

I just wanted some normality back in my life people I’ve seen out don’t seem to take this virus seriously the amount I’ve seen out with no mask is ridiculous for me a second wave is not far off

Just keep yourself safe wear a mask when out and about take antibacterial wipes and gel

[Bluetop]

I think at this stage it's a matter of weighing up your own particular circumstances. After shielding all this time I chose to see my grandchildren last weekend. My thinking was that at the moment covid levels are low in both our locations and might suddenly get worse. It did me so much good to see them -and with young children I think it is important for them too.

[ET500]

Hi, I’ve just had my son and family(20mth grandson) stay for a week in my bubble..I am by my self . Which was absolutely fantastic.. I live in small village in Scotland so Low risk .. He lives in West Sussex but had been very careful the weeks before the visit. I preferred him coming here than me going down to be truthful, as fewer people around.. I still stayed within my home which after 4mths of isolating was pretty safe and they were happy to stay in apart from some isolated walks ...If I was you I would first check areas that You have to travel through for high risk . But if going directly to sons and checking what his movements have been in the weeks before , I can’t see too much of a problem . Just take the normal precautions of hand wipes, hand gel and masks For any stops you might have to make. When you do go enjoy.

[Fika500]

If going to stay with family , probably the safest option would be for the family you’re visiting to self isolate for 14 days before you arrive.

[hunter5582]

I think this is mostly a matter of your own risk tolerance. There is not going to be a clear black and white answer to whether you should go visit. I am planning to go visit my daughter/granddaughter if I can. My granddaughter has to fly from Alaska to North Carolina to see her Mom. I am going to wait a couple of weeks after the flight before I consider going down to see them, however. We will see how things play out.

For myself, I have been carefully social distancing, but not isolating. Have been tested twice for COVID due to the surgery - both negative. For myself, using caution and care in my interactions and situations I put myself in has been how I have approached the current situation. The reality is that the current strain(s) of COVID are going to be around until an effective vaccine is widely available. It is quite possible that the current COVID19 strain will mutate and evolve over time just like influenza.

We cannot continue to shield/isolate forever. At some point, we need to resume living a normal life. Hopefully with a bit of due caution, we can ease back into a more normal and healthy lifestyle without undue risk.

[lizzziep]

I hope you can get to se your family. We are waiting until next month and then, all being well, are hoping to visit our family in Dorset. It's a long trip as we are in Yorkshire so we will have to use service station loos, I'll take plenty of sanitiser etc with me. My son and family down there have been isolating and he has been working from home. They now have a "bubble" with his in laws but they are also isolating. We can't stay in for the rest of our lives. We just have to take reasonable precautions. x

[katiewalsh in reply to lizzziep]

Hi Lizzie, my friend who had to travel bought a device that let her urinate standing up in the bathroom to reduce exposure to germs. There are an assortment to chose from and available on Amazon if you get that. But probably else where. They’re called FUDS for female urinating devices. In the US we have “Res Stops” with roadside restrooms which are much bigger & more open than service stations so less germs. She used those & bathrooms at McDonald’s as they’re much cleaner than service stations. Things are probably much cleaner though where you are. Good luck. Katie

[lizzziep in reply to katiewalsh]

Thank you. The service stations here vary in cleanliness! Hopefully in the current situation they will have improved. I did have a”she wee” device but it disappeared . I’ll certainly have a look on Amazon. I would go armed with sanitizer, wipes etc anyway. Stay safe x

[katiewalsh in reply to lizzziep]

Thanks. You’ll be surprised how many there are. I even read reviews in magazines rating them!! Forgot to mention that my friend also bought a face shield to wear for extra protection. She found one attached to a hat that was extra wide & long & tucked into her top. I wore a more typical one Thursday over my mask to get my labs drawn & was glad because someone still inside the building hollered good bye to someone. as she was leaving & she’d taken her mask off!! I wasn’t happy.

[lizzziep in reply to katiewalsh]

When I went to the hospital they weren’t allowing anyone in without a mask. I’ve made myself (and friends and family) several so I can wash the used ones and still have one to wear. There was a man outside arguing that he wanted to go in without one, but security wouldn’t let him. Xx

[Jennytheb]

Hi I have seen both my children and families for some time now. One daughter works at a junior school so she won't visit for 7 days. I think that it is so little time till we are supposed to be free to do whatever we feel like doing including shopping that I would just go for it. Have fun.

[azaelea in reply to Jennytheb]

Thanks Jenny. We decided not to go last weekend but hopefully have arranged to go on 1st Aug . We have seen our son as he's been up twice to visit us. First time was towards end of main lockdown when we kept the distance and just stayed in garden. Second time we kept our distance but he came in house and had a meal with us. Also had visit from granddaughter with new baby, distance-wise so haven't been exactly starved of their company. Not seen other son as he and wife also shielding and live away too.