Nothing to do with an mpn but hope it makes you laugh on a grey old day.

[Loubprv]

Really, how much longer do we have to put up with time wasting cold callers on the phone?

I’ve just had a call which made me hurtle down the stairs ( was waiting for a call from estate agent)

Not agent but Manchester number. I answered “ hello Louise speaking”.

Girl on the other end said “ is that Mr Broughton” - (do I sound like Mr Broughton? Is his name Louise?)

Yes said I, I’m undergoing a sex change hence ladies voice, how can I help.

She prattled on about cheaper electricity .

I said, you sound like a nice young lady, I’m only an hour and half from you, can we be friends, my physical transformation hasn’t quite worked yet, but I’m hoping for great things in the future, including down below.

Magic, she hung up.

I’m still giggling, and absolutely no offence meant to anyone undergoing a sex change.

Love

Louise.

[piggie50]

Ha ha, that’s hilarious Louise. I must admit, I do wind them up sometimes and other times I just tell them to go away! Sometimes I say ‘did I ask you to call me’ that usually results in stuttering and the phone going down.

Xx

[Raphael_UK]

I have a recording of a very angry sounding Chinese lady, talking very fast in Chinese, when I get a junk call I play that, they hang up pretty quickly usually! PS no offence to Chinese people.

[MCW22 in reply to Raphael_UK]

I've put on an Indian accent and said sorry I can't understand you, that will be 99p but I don't have a penny change, oh deary deary me thank you very much, have a nice day. Admittedly the accent needs working on but my daughter was cracking up with laughter and said I can't believe you just did that.

Carol

[Raphael_UK in reply to MCW22]

That’s funny, I do that as well with a funny Italian accent, which I’m not very good at which is a bit sad as I am Italian!

[MCW22 in reply to Raphael_UK]

Thank goodness your not Indian. I didn't stop to think that someone who reads this might be. No offense to anyone who is (unless you work for bt) or pretend to

[JediReject]

Hey Louise , or ought that read Louie ?, you're a hoot. Thanks for a good chuckle on a very grey wet day here in Blackpool. . . 😂

Regards - Chris x

[Loubprv Volunteer in reply to JediReject]

Hey Chris!

You re still here! Fantastic ! Hope you re creaking along just fine, as am I.....

One of these days we’ll get to meet. Steve and I have just schlepped up to Carlisle for yet another bloody meeting ( it might get bloody if I have my way with these w........s) with adult social care re my mother’s care fees.

She’s spent around £90,000 ( forget being left with £23,250 that’s a great big lie to start with) in her current care home, and because she now has NO money left whatsoever barring her state and private pension, they want to move her to some crappy old social care home and give her precisely £80 a week as a top up. They’ve asked us to top her up by £450 a week. Can you believe it? It’s actually illegal to ask families to top up.

Poor mum, she’s 97, has dementia and mobility issues. I ask you, how much longer has she got to live?

I’m incandescent with rage. Sorry to bang on.........

Louise

xxx

[JediReject in reply to Loubprv]

I sympathise with your situation, my father is elderly and this is a path I may need to tread. The cost of private care is in my view scandalous when it sucks every last pound until the pot is empty and unfair when it then boots your loved one out at a critical time when they often need stability and familiarity with their care environment.

I feel your rage.

Obviously you will have explored all the angles of assisted care for those with dementia, , I don't know how it works but I saw something about the local authority funding in some cases.

Good Luck with fighting your mums corner it must be breaking your heart to see her suffering.

In my thoughts -Chris x

[JediReject in reply to Loubprv]

By th by I still recall that lovely pic of mum you posted for me a few years back ,a truly lovely lady. . . x

[babbittybumble in reply to Loubprv]

Hello Louise You should ask if your Mum qualifies for NHS Continuing Health Care Funding.Regardless of how much money someone has if they have need for a high level of care they may qualify for this , all the costs of nursing home etc, are paid for by the health authority.Ask your GP for advice on this . People are not always told about this funding,,Bye Gill

[Swede]

Hi, I do the same! I am actually enjoying it....sometimes I speak another laguage, sometimes just ramble on about the dogs...(don't have any but still talk about them) also about the small men that turns up after dark...

[Loubprv Volunteer]

Thanks all for your replies! Certainly made me giggle on this wet old day.xx

[lizzziep]

We get all sorts of cold calls, often about the accident (what accident?) that wasn't our fault! My husband keeps them talking. He told one that the accident was caused by a unicorn jumping in front of the car and his head was knocked off, the person just carried on talking and asked for his bank details so they could send compensation!

[Loubprv Volunteer in reply to lizzziep]

What a hoot! I’ll remember that one....

[MCW22]

I usually say I must have suffered concussion as I can't remember the accident

[stillkicking]

Wonderful, thanks so much for the laugh on a grey day! I wish that someone could publish a sound archive of funny interactions with cold callers, after all, there is often a "This call may be recorded for quality control purposes" when one rings a "help desk", so the material must be out there somewhere and some calls would be hilarious.

One thing that always makes me laugh are well intentioned, but extremely badly played, attempts at the National Anthem by brass bands in far flung corners of the world when Dignitaries make State visits, I would love a recording of them!

[lavender007]

Brilliant!!!!!