Bad day: So today was not a good day..... I... - More To Life

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Bad day

Tranters profile image
6 Replies

So today was not a good day.....

I have been feeling much better my hubby and I have just sold the house and the equity has come through. We are using this to start our IVF journey next year but then my closest friend texts me to tell she’s pregnant - this is the last of my friends - she was my one saving grace, the one person whose life didn’t revolve around getting baby sitters to come out and now I am feeling very alone. I broke down on my hubby but it’s not the quite the same as all of his friends still go the pub on a weekend regardless but my social life has dwindled so much over the past few years due my friends becoming mums.

I know all this sounds rather selfish but I feel so isolated and alone atm.

Xx

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Tranters
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6 Replies

Hi Tranters

So sorry to hear you're having this hard time. Certainly I don't think your emotions are selfish. We had a relative with secondary infertility conceive her second child during all our problems. It was like a hammer blow.

Is your hubby OK?

Hopefully you can work through this together, but I certainly think what you're feeling is normal for the situation and so understandable.

Our advice would definitely be don't go to any events you feel are too much and look after yourself and your husband.

Take care and hope this current down period passes soon

Tranters profile image
Tranters in reply to Infertility-hurts

Thank you :) he’s ok ish it’s started to affect him now more than before so today we are doing something for us that makes us happy.

X

Infertility-hurts profile image
Infertility-hurts in reply to Tranters

Sounds good. It's so hard sometimes!!!!!!!!!! I hope you had a lovely day whatever you did

Best regards

MinMin profile image
MinMin

I have been there too and remember that feeling. Yet another thing to grieve! I definitely find the announcements the worst bit, then the pregnancy talk, but I'm not so upset once the baby is here strangely. Some friends are better than others at managing the friendship and being understanding. I hope your friend is.

My husband has definitely found it easier to keep friends and find people to socialise with being blokes. All the girls i used to have a laugh with have disappeared from our local pub and just the husbands or single blokes remain.

Most of the time I like seeing my friend's kids but sometimes i wish they would make time just for me.

As it's half term this week I'm dreading going anywhere!!

Anyway, remember you are enough as you are, and really true friends will get through anything. You're not as alone as you think x

surrey_emma profile image
surrey_emma

Hi Tranters, I had to reply as have had exactly the same thing! Every single one of my friends has had children and dropped of the radar and it was just me and my bessie left. After 1 round of ivf she fell pregnant and now their baby is 4 months. We are on round 3 of ivf and it's been 6 years. She has now disappeared of radar too (understandably but still miss her)

So as I say I totally understand. I have just had to accept this is the new normal for a few years but i have also tried to focus on myself and husband by listing out fun stuff to do and doing that and DIY. Plus have made a new friend who is childless by choice which helps if I'm honest!

So you will get through it hun but we are all here for you x

megmog1300 profile image
megmog1300

I just joined this forum, and even just reading a few posts has made me feel like I am in the right place! I can totally relate. My closest friend who has had issues and was one of the only ones who truly understood how it feels to go through infertility has just had twins via IVF. I am lucky that we can both be totally honest with each other but I know she feels bad saying how hard it is, and I find it difficult to say I am frustrated when yet ANOTHER person I know gets pregnant. I am even going to hide away tonight and not answer the door to trick or treaters because I will find it a struggle seeing all the happy families with their cute kids. :-(

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