Coping with stress

[lc01sw]

Hi All, I am posting this has I have been off work for a month now with stress which has been work - related mainly, but also think as a regional contact member for more to life it got a bit too much which was brought home to me recently so have stepped down from that role for now as I feel that I am unable to give support to anyone else who has been referred to me. I am off work for another month, it was Heather the volunteer coordinator who kindly rung me last week to see how I am and suggested posting message instead of me replying. If anyone has any advice or has been in my situation I would gladly welcome it. Regards Laura Chorlton

[utopiachild]

thanks for your hard work. .hope you could find more love

life is a difficult journey, change direction will be exciting ..good luck

[lc01sw in reply to utopiachild]

Thanks for that utopiachild

[Blaze19]

Hi Laura, I'm so sorry to read that you are currently off work with symptoms of stress. Well done for posting a message to the group, I commend you for taking control on activities that may help your recovery.

I see you have asked for any advice and that you said that your stress was mainly work related. I therefore would encourage you to consider the following:

- what specifically has caused the stress at work, has it been a lot of small things that have culminated with one big thing, or just one thing in particular

- what needs to change for you to feel you can return to work and for your feelings of stress to allieviate

- when you are clear on the answers to these questions then think about how you can share these with your manager. If it is your manager who is the issue then someone else in a position of authority to help. This may seem like the biggest challenge and a hard thing to do. Your employer can only take action and consider changes or adjustments if they understand the triggers and what can be done differently. They should be offering welfare calls and or home visits and provide you with this opportunity.

- see if you can become familiar with company policies/ procedures that maybe relevant. There could be procedures in place to support with what you are facing.

- you need to take care of your mental wellbeing and do activities that help you feel better. Your company can only support you in taking time out to do these activities as you are demonstrating that you are trying to help.

Please think about the first two points though. If work can make reasonable adjustments to help, or take complete action and stop the cause, then the sooner you may feel better.

There's more I could share with you and I hope the above helps in someway. I have spoken to you by phone previously and I would be more than happy to communicate by personal email (I still have your contact details) if you wanted me to.

Take care.

Louise

[lc01sw in reply to Blaze19]

Hi Louise, hope your ok? Didn't realize it was you responding. Thanks for your advice, it's my job as a housekeeper and my duties that increased that has causede to go off I went to speak to my ward manager on Thursday but was unsatisfactory really, as she said the routine wouldn't change a I made suggestions but she kept making excuses so didn't come away feeling positive. I have a meeting with the matron on Wednesday see how that goes. But if you wanted to contact me with more advice I would appreciate that as I remember you mentioning that you worked in HR. Thanks again . Regards Laura Chorlton x

[Blaze19 in reply to lc01sw]

Hi Laura, I'm well thank you and well remembered about my job.

Thanks for sharing that extra info, it's helpful to understand a bit more. Any change to duties needs to be reasonable, I.e. they are something that is within your skillset and knowledge or can be easily trained through adequate training or coaching etc. Another factor is current workload vs new proposed workload. Well done for speaking to your ward manager. It sounds like the meeting didn't go as well as you hoped. You could considering emailing your manager with your feelings post meeting and ask for considerations and an understanding on why your suggestions cannot be accommodated, or for details on the rationale for the change if it's not clear. Ultimately your employer should be able to quantify why a request cannot work.

It would be useful if you could have a written record of what is going on. If you feel the change is detrimental to your health, terms and conditions or something else, then let your manager know. Maybe at the next face to face meeting you could ask for someone to accompany you, possible a work colleague or trade union rep.

Louise x

[lc01sw in reply to Blaze19]

Hi Louise, thanks again for that advice, I have a meeting on Wednesday with the matron review over my welfare of long-term sickness although I have only been off a month, anyway I have asked Leanne the other housekeeper to come as support but she has an insight of the job as well. Will keep you posted. Regards Laura

[Blaze19 in reply to lc01sw]

I'm glad you've got support for the meeting and I'll be thinning of you on Wednesday. I hope it goes well for you.

[lc01sw in reply to Blaze19]

Hi Louise, thanks for that. X

[wendyWaz in reply to Blaze19]

Thanks Louise for posting this, good advice for us all, and maybe relate not just to work issues. I'm in a stressful spell at the moment but unfortunately caused by something I can't change. After 'recovering' from infertility my Dad started with dementia, before losing him nearly 2 years ago, Mum was diagnosed with it as well. Although mum is reasonable stable now, suddenly it has all got on top of me. It feels i have just gone from one disaster to another. So I know where Laura is.

[lc01sw in reply to wendyWaz]

Hi Wendy, sorry to hear about your struggles. Thanks for responding. Take care. Regards Laura Chorlton

[Blaze19 in reply to wendyWaz]

Hi Wendy, thanks for the message, that's really nice of you.

I'm so sorry to read your experiences. It's sounds like you've had a really difficult time and battled through it although now you are feeling the effects. It's natural to feel as you do and grief can hit at anytime. Let out your emotions and call upon your support network to help you. Talking about things can be so powerful and help you find a way of coping. My thoughts are with you.

Louise x

[Infertility-hurts]

Really hope you're better soon, much love

[lc01sw in reply to Infertility-hurts]

Thanks for your kind thoughts.

[Blaze19 in reply to lc01sw]

How did your meeting go last week Laura? I hope you're feeling more positive from it.

[lc01sw in reply to Blaze19]

Hi Louise, yes the meeting went well, came away feeling more positive, as the matron said about getting the night staff to do more. Then I started with dizzy spells and developed a rash on both shoulders so had a bad few days, fortunately the dizziness has eased off, just had weakness in my legs which apparently is normal with the tablets I have been taking, having a blood test tomorrow morning but will have to wait a week for the results,see if that shows anything . Thanks for your concern and advice. Regards Laura Chorlton

[heather-moretolife]

Hi Everyone

This is what is truly great about this community. Thank you so much for all the messages of support you have sent to lc01sw, who needed some support herself for a change - and let's face it - we all do sometimes when living with challenges of childlessness- She is an amazing local contact volunteer who has helped so many before. Thank you to lc01sw for sharing her situation right now and everyone for sending messages and practical advice to support her. I am in awe of this community that does such an amazing job at making sure that nobody feels alone. Sending love and admiration to everyone!

Heather- More to Life Coordinator

[pm27]

I hope you're done a bit better. Grief is a tricky whatsit and seems to creep up on you, often when you least expect it.

[lc01sw in reply to pm27]

Thanks for your comments, your right though it does creep up on you .

[beaglelady71]

Im sorry to read this Laura

Im livng not far from you at.the min shout if you want a chat

[lc01sw]

Hi is it Lesley? Thanks for your comments, where are you living now then? Maybe meet up. Regards Laura

[beaglelady71]

Sorry I didn't come.back to you ! I was living in Ainsworth but have just.moved to.Hebden Bridge to be near my family. Hope things are better for you

[lc01sw]

Hi Lesley, I am ok now thanks, I was off work from January till May then went back on a phased return for a month but don't enjoy the job so currently looking for another job with more stimulation. How are you? Still in Hebden Bridge? We love getting the train there it's a lovely place maybe we can meet up when we next go there! Regards Laura

[beaglelady71]

I'm good thanks

Yes of course let me know