Hi everybody! This small community is amazing and gives me strength. I am a sisixteen year old girl with a headache going on for three years this February. It started with a lacrosse ball to my right cheek bone and has slowly spiraled downwards. Theory is that it is nerve damage and it never properly healed. Perhaps a strange case of trigeminal neuralgia. I'm starting to think it was not the hit, because it didn't even bruise. Anyway life is hell. Pain is in the eyebrow, cheek bone temples and all over. It moves like clouds in the sky. Hot and burning. Icy sting. Immense pressure. Made school unbearable, can't write an essay when my facell is streaked with silent tears (true story). I act like it's no big deal but agonizing. It never leaves me. Ever. I have nightmares of dogs chasing me and attacking my face. And when I wake up, the pain is still there. Dropped out of school, dissolving my social life. Pain killers don't help. Stayed in hospital for three days for a migraine cocktail. Nothin technically not a migraine. I'm on loads of meds and seen every doctor in the Portland area. MRI three times a year. I told my mom many times that I don't want to live if I live with pain. I'm scaring my self. But my family is amazing with supporting friends. Got my GED over the summer, so I take a lot of art classes at the high school, and see my friends during the week. I have a wonderful religion that keeps me strong. I don't want to be here, but I don't want to die, I have shit to do! Anyway it's hard but I'm dealing. I get up in the morning, go to seminary with my friends. School. Chores. Friends. Gym. It's getting better. I can do this. Thanks for letting me rant.
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