A question in need of advice for a relative.

[Lfd217]

Hi thank you firstly for any advice if any is given. My Mother is extremely unwell. I have never seen an individual with such extreme aggression in short bursts. An example is she will come home make a huge deal about some unleaned dishes and has on occasions thrown items, attacked people violently and acted with the most irrationality I have ever witnessed. She has for several years now had a mental health nurse and is prescribed medication for Bipolar and Extreme Depression. It is coming to the stage where she is bringing my mental state extremely low and I now have severe anxiety. I do not blame my mother for the way she makes me feel, but I do not know who to contact in regards to getting her better help. I do not have the money for private care for example. When she has a “moment” it is unlike anything normal you could possibly witness. If I am the victim, I will be called any possible verbal evil heard, she will scream at the top of her lungs and can go extremely red with anger. There is no controlling her. Worst of all she is not taking any medication which is currently prescribed and things are now not looking bright. Does anyone know where I should seek advice on helping her at this time as I feel she is an extreme danger to herself and others?

[Robbie138]

First of all Hello and I’m sorry your suffering with all of this, does your mum not have a CPN or out of hours mental health team you can get in touch with. I’m sorry I’m not much help but just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. Take care x

[Lfd217 in reply to Robbie138]

Thank you for your kind words, I believe she does, but I will have a look into that, take care x

[Foof]

How sad.

I really feel for you and for your dilemma, watching someone you love damage themselves and you...With no way out....

My first thoughts are about the oxygen mask in the plane...

Do you put it on your child first? No

Because if you die, the. You are no good to your child. So you have to ensure you live and are healthy enough to take care of the one Whois. Ore vulnerable.

This means putting you first and doing what you need to do to remove yourself. Even if only temporarily to recover some strength. Looking for help for yourself before anyone else at the current time. So you can rebuild your own strength and resilience in order to help your mother or even consider moving away from a time.

If not your efforts to rescue her will only end in both of you drowning.

You are being abused by her condition and not your mother.

The condition has convinced her to stop taking her medication.

Once you recognise the condition has your mother hostage and will fight you and anyone else to keep her that way, it may help with her abuse towards you.

It is incredibly powerful and works by attacking your strength because it sees you as a threat.

Retreat. Recover, treat your wounds, train yourself to be better at resisting and do not attack until you have optimum strength and significant allies. Mental health professionals, MIND, family and your GP. Do not take n for an answer in gathering these allies.

And always remember that mental health is the mind turning against itself.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Lfd217,

Welcome to this supportive community. You've had some great replies from the folks here, many of whom will have first-hand knowledge of your mum's condition and your situation. I can see your dilemma is two-fold, firstly how to best take care of your mum, and secondly, how to take care of and protect yourself. I would advise that in both instances, that you see your GP and discuss the situation. Also, that you contact her CPN and crisis mental health support team, as she is a danger to you and to herself, and she may need briefly sectioning to assess her needs and for both your protection. You may also need to call the police if she's being violent, nd yes, her behaviour, is abusive, even if she doesn't mean to be. If she is refusing to take her medication (which is her right), she is not helping her situation, and her medical/psychiatric team need to be aware of this. Can you get some respite by staying with a relative or friend for a while to give you a break and to get some perspective? Your mental and physical health if very important and you need help too.

Here's some links on the MIND UK website that may help you:

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

Stay safe! Keep in touch.

Take care.