Is it the depression? !

My boyfriend of 2 months has severe depression. He was doing well then he went off his medication and went into a downward spiral mood ways. He was distant for a few days..then a little closer then more distant. No affection. No touching. On a Friday (week ago) I stayed over and was awoke by him touching and caressing me. We had a moment of kissing and touching. Saturday morning he said he was feeling good. Wanted me to stay but I had to leave around 1 to get my trip stuff ready. I was out of town Sunday thru Tuesday. We texted...Sunday he said he was having a good day, he was out at a show. Next day he responded only a couple times. Tuesday it took forever for him to respond and only a one word response. 

He had Dr appointment on Tuesday night. I asked how it went."could have been better". That's it. He always shares everything but that was it. No contact for 36 hours. Thursday am he had a primary Dr appointment. Got a 3 word response on that appointment. I ask if he wanted to get together Thursday evening. No response. Nothing Friday. Worried since he had been having suicidal thoughts I kept trying to reach him. Finally I get. "I'm fine". Last night I asked him a question and got one sentence out of him. Today...nothing. 

I've read other stories of men who have secluded themselves due to depression. I can't help feeling he's just avoiding me...? He was very verbal before. Very affectionate and loving. Always wanted me around, always communicative. Kept me informed. Now...nothing?! 

He told me once he might disappear (he used a different word) but that if that ever happened he would keep me informed. I'm just so confused. I could handle it better if I knew...but I'm afraid to push the subject while he's low. I have slight depression myself and this all is making me lower.

Plus I think he was put on new medication. I would think that would start to make some difference. 

Any and all (constructive) ideas/suggestions are welcome. Thanks!


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1 Reply

  • Hi there depression is a very misunderstood illness I have suffered for the past 20 years with clinical depression and is has been hell, what a lot of people do once they start to feel much better and think great I am cured I don't need the meds anymore, big big mistake it's the meds that is keeping you well and you should never just stop them, the chemical in the brain stops working the tablets help replace this making you feel better, it can take up to six weeks or more for them to work. I have been on meds for 20 years and today I feel so much better I have odd days when I feel tearful and depressed but that soon lifts.

    Your boyfriend sounds like he is in a very dark place, when you fill like this all you want to do is hide away from the world everything is too much effort even making a cup of tea, and to talk to people you cant, you just want to hide away from the world and all of it worries, I never spoke to my friends for many weeks although they kept calling me they never give up. Everything is so much hard work, you fill you cannot go outside because it is safer inside, also you do not feel like being intimate as you feel so low and down that is the last thing on your mind sex drive really does suffer, this does not mean he does not love or want you if you let it this illness can destroy you and everyone around you, my husband was very good and understanding, It is very hard for all concerned, you don't know what to say or what to do, he needs to take time to recover, I found councilling very helpful. There is a lot of help out there, look on the web site cognative therapy was very helpful. He will get better but he must see his doctor regularly and take his medication for how ever long it takes, even if it is for life. Good luck and try to stay strong he really needs you.

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