Bisexuality

[nickItaly]

I’d like to post some useful information about bisexuality, because I think many people can be confused about it.

First of all, the American Psychology Association declares that:

apa.org/topics/lgbt/orienta...

“Sexual orientation refers to an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic and/or sexual attractions to men, women or both sexes. Sexual orientation also refers to a person's sense of identity based on those attractions, related behaviors and membership in a community of others who share those attractions. Research over several decades has demonstrated that sexual orientation ranges along a continuum, from exclusive attraction to the other sex to exclusive attraction to the same sex. However, sexual orientation is usually discussed in terms of three categories: heterosexual (having emotional, romantic or sexual attractions to members of the other sex), gay/lesbian (having emotional, romantic or sexual attractions to members of one's own sex) and bisexual (having emotional, romantic or sexual attractions to both men and women)”.

So: the first thing to underline is that: none of these possibilities are pathological. All are NORMAL expressions of human psyche.

The second thing to recognize is that bisexuality DOES EXIST. It is not a myth. It is not a transition stage toward another form of sexual orientation. It is NOT CLOSET homosexuality. It can be contemporary (if a person is attracted by men and women in the same period) or sequential (if someone changes his/her sexual orientation during life, being for example heterosexual and then homosexual in his/her behavior).

The third thing to be underline is that bisexuals can be as faithful companions as heterosexuals or homosexuals are. It is NOT true that, since they can be attracted both by men and women, they are more likely to betray their partners. They have NOT an exaggerated sexual drive. Sexual drive can vary among bisexuals as it can vary among heterosexuals or homosexuals.

So, if you are heterosexual, fine! If you are homosexual, fine! If you are bisexual, fine!

Just remember that having/having had some same-sex fantasies, desires or even behaviors DOES NOT mean that you are 100% homosexual. If one man falls in love with a woman, desires her and decides she’s his ideal partner, he must NOT consider himself inadequate just because he happens to have some same-sex fantasies, desires or has had previous same-sex experiences. If one man falls in love with another man, desires him and decides he’s his ideal partner, he must not consider himself inadequate just because he happens to have sex fantasies, desires or has had previous sex experiences with women. The same applies to a woman. They are probably bisexuals, and can be partners as trustworthy as any heterosexual or homosexual person can be.

For further, deeper information, see the works of Kinsey, who was probably the first scientist who studied epidemiologically the human sex orientation, and provided the first test to “classified” sexual orientation in grade 0 to 6 (0=exclusively heterosexual; 6=exclusively homosexual)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfre...

Other interesting sites are:

bisexual.org/

and

americaninstituteofbisexual...

founded by dr Fritz Klein,

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritz...

or read the interesting book by dr Franz Klein

americaninstituteofbisexual...

Remember that great historical personalities in the past were bisexual:

Sappho, who wrote some of the best love poetries for women, but felt also attraction for men (she had probably a daughter, and she may have committed suicide for the love of a man)

Catullus, who wrote poems with explicit reference to same-sex and different-sex attraction

Alexander the Great, who fell deep in love with Roxane, a beautiful oriental princess, but had also a long-life love affair with his companion Hephaestion

Oscar Wilde, who was deeply in love with his wife while young, and then developed a homosexual passion who led him to prison

The Bloomsbury Group, with Virginia Wolff

Etc, etc.

[jaglad]

Alexander the Great ! Who would of thought it ? Not me obviously, I did not know Oscar Wilde was ever married either.

I need to get out more. Interesting read though.

[nickItaly in reply to jaglad]

Ancient world presents many couples of male friends in particular relationship even in myth. And myth is a reflection of human psychology.

Let us consider for example Achilles. When Patroclus is killed in the battle, he gets in dispair:

en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_...

Achilles groaned and answered, "Mother, Olympian Jove has indeed vouchsafed me the fulfilment of my prayer, but what boots it to me, seeing that my dear comrade Patroclus has fallen- he whom I valued more than all others, and loved as dearly as my own life? I have lost him

Iliad, XVIII book

Even in the Bible there is an example: Jonathan (Saul's son) and David (future king and Saul's successor)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David...

Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself. Saul took him that day and did not let him return to his father's house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt.

1 Samuel

Neither example explicitly tells us that they were lovers, but their relationship must have been very strict anyway.

And both Achilles and David had heterosexual behaviour too.

Achilles's angry, at the beginning of the Iliad, depends on the fact that Agamemnon has robbed him of a female slave. David was so profoundly attracted by Bathsheba that he practically send her husband Huriah to certain death in war in order to marry her.

We have less example of bisexual behaviour in women in antiquity, maybe because women were considered less important, but when they became famous, as in the case of Sappho, sometimes bisexual tendencies come out.

Another "mythic" example of sexual "fluidity" can be found in Hinduism: Visnu converts himself into a goddess (Mohini) in order to be physically loved by Shiva. They also have a son Ayyappa

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohini

[Hidden]

Another interesting read Nick - more like this please. Cheers!

[nickItaly in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Bakan. Nick

[Luke1973]

Hi there. I’m a mid 40s male, happily married with children, but have begun to be a bit more honest with myself just recently about my sexual desires. I don’t find men sexually attractive in the conventional sense and don’t have any desire to kiss a man or cuddle a man or have a relationship with a man ( the thought makes me feel almost repulsed). However, I am very attracted to the penis as a sexual organ. I’m fascinated by men’s penises, erections, ejaculation, semen etc and have had a couple of experiences with guys involving mutual masturbation and oral sex and really enjoyed them. Does this mean that I’m bisexual? My ultimate fantasy is to watch my wife enjoying other penises and being ejaculated on or in by them, which I’m aware probably comes under the category of cuckoldry. Is there something wrong with me?

[nickItaly]

Dear Luke

I'm not an expert sexologist, but I do not think there is something wrong with you. You feel straight, but you feel fascinated by the penis. Where's the problem? Mutual masturbation is quite common among otherwise heterosexual men; it is often neither considered as a "truly homosexual" experience. Moreover, many straight men accept easily the experience of masturbation in company. Is it a completely straight behaviour? I'm not sure about it, but those men feel absolutely straight. Oral sex with another man is a little bit more intimate. However, do not bother about label: you are who you are, you can be heterosexual today and a little bit bisexual tomorrow. Or vice versa. So relax. Enjoy your sexuality and accept and love yourself as you are. Your ultimate fantasy (watching your wife with another man) is more complex and difficult to interpret. I may only suggest something. You may feel unsure about your ability to satisfy your wife. Or: you unconsciously desire a threesome (MANY people do desire a threesome!!). Or who knows? Let your fantasies exist, as long as they do not damage anyone! Your wife may share your fantasy! You could "play" a role during your sex, pretending to be someone else!

I hope this have helped you. If you feel like, feel free to ask me again.

Nick

[Luke1973]

Thanks Nick. That’s a very reassuring reply.

[nickItaly in reply to Luke1973]

You are welcome! Feel free to write me more if you like