Dressing not coming off 4 days post op

[Therunner11]

4 days post op circumsision for my son and his dressing is showing no signs of coming off and he’s desperate to shower. Shall we just cut his dressing off? Why can’t it just fall off!!

[pussnamedsam]

Hi Therunner11 - after 4 days your son is ok to shower. I'm guessing (but I imagine) very few dressings, however well stuck they are, will stand up to a gentle soap and water. Just remind him to not let the water jets hit his wound directly, and for him to wipe the area (as best he's able) with a soft wash cloth. 👍

[Therunner11 in reply to pussnamedsam]

We had the worst time taking it off last night took about 3 hours of painstaking work!! Problem was he has a nasty infection which required an A&E visit last night. He was screaming in agony. He’s on antibiotics and oromorph and we are hoping and praying the antibiotics kick in asap!!!

[pussnamedsam in reply to Therunner11]

Oh dear I'm sorry to hear that, that sounds horrendous. It must be very disappointing for you and especially your son. I'm sure all will come back well in the end. Dont be despondent. I wonder why he had so much dressings. When I was discharged I had a pad of gauze taped to my lower belly which overhung my penis. My surgeon said the gauze will probably be off before you get home, and he was right. It was balled-up in my underpants. Thankfully I never had the need to use any dressings. I just used Vaseline for 2 weeks as advised by the surgeon. I'm a week and a day post op and all's well, so remind your son it will improve for him too and hopefully soon.

👍

[Therunner11 in reply to pussnamedsam]

Thank you. It’s hard to keep his mental health up and to reassure him all is well in his healing because I honestly don’t know if what’s he’s experiencing is normal. He’s 6 days post op now and today his penis seems to look really swollen and I’m worried about that.

We see his surgeon on Monday but the thought of the journey with him is really stressing me out. It’s hard for him to walk to his bathroom 6 feet away from his bed!!

He just seems so fed up and keeps wishing he’d not had it done abs that all this pain isn’t worth it.

You sound very lucky with your dressing. I think his would still be on if he’d not tried to soak it off in the bath. I think because he had it on for days that caused infection.

I really wish we could have gone private for this operation. He wasn’t even told to shave his public hair and now because it’s been bleeding his penis is getting stuck to his hairs which is making his pain worse!

Also, had he been prescribed antibiotics as soon as his op was over, he’d have probably not had this nasty infection.

I’m really pleased you’re healing up well

[pussnamedsam in reply to Therunner11]

Sorry to hear your son is having such problems. I'm glad for you both that he's seeing his surgeon tomorrow I'm sure it's a comfort for you and he'll make things better. I had my op via our wonderful NHS, I was kept aware of every step. I was not told to shave either. Good luck tomorrow.

[Therunner11 in reply to pussnamedsam]

Morning. Well had a rough night. We had to call 111 as he couldn’t wee due to the discharge blocking his penis end he was bleeding too from the round. I had to take him to urgent care this morning so he’s now had 2 emergency visits to hospital. They’ve sent him over to another hospital to a urology ward to have intravenous drip of antibiotics and some meds to stop elections (he’s 17 so I’m sure he’s leaving lots of them!!!). I just hope they can sort him out. He’s just arrived there now. I pray this gets him sorted it’s really unbearable seeing him go through all this. His penis ballooned up yesterday.

[pussnamedsam in reply to Therunner11]

Again I'm so sorry to hear your son's in such a poorly way. Of course his pain and suffering affects you also, but you must try to stay strong, and positive, for his sake.

I'm sure now he's on a specialist ward he'll start to heal. Let us know please. I wish him well. Try and keep your chin up.

(previously: I meant I'm a MONTH and a day post op - not a week and a day)

[Theo99]

My dear dont worry just pray and tell your son everything will be alright. Unfortunately I cant give you much advice but hope. I was traditionally circumcised according to my culture we do it that way. No urologist or doctor or nurse, its done by a man who receives mentorship and guidance from a precursor. You don't get stitched or receive any antibiotics those things you are forbidden to use. You use a wild herb on the wound to help with healing. So you can imagine the pain that one has to go through. It is by enduring that pain for you to be accepted by the community as a full man. You build a plastic hut in the bush and stay there until the wound has healed.

it only took me 2 and half weeks for the wound to completely heal. So don't worry this process will pass and by the time it passes, you'll be filled with joy.

You must constantly change the bandages even though its painful its part of the process do exactly as your doctor say, if the doctor say "30min interval" do it exactly that way.

Your son is lucky to have his mother by his side even getting a hand from her. In my culture women only see you when the process of healing is done. When I returned home a huge feast was made and my mother was filled with tears of joy because I had successfully completed the process and she was seeing me for the first time. So there will come a time when you'll celebrate the completion of the process, what you're going through right now its nothing odd its part of the process and do not have any regrets about circumcision.

You're in my prayers.

[Therunner11]

For me it does seem cruel for this procedure in babies especially without anesthetic etc. I know it’s religion but from what my son has gone through I just couldn’t imagine putting him through that as a little child 😢. Can I ask what religion this is? I find it all fascinating. I must read up on it to understand it more.

You’re right though, he’s lucky to have his mum by his side even though he’s 17! He’s still my baby. He’s been completely helpless. It’s been a very soul destroying week for us both and his dad. We’ve witnessed him repeatedly saying he’s rather die than go through this abs it was a mistake to have it done. I’ve cried so much.

My only hopes are he heals up well now and that it fully functioning in the future!! That’s his main worry that it won’t work properly.

He’s been given antibiotic cream now and the urologist he saw today gave it a good clean for him as he’s not been able to clean it as he’s been in far too much pain due to his infection.

We will speak to his surgeon tomorrow too.

[Theo99]

No the procedure is not done in babies, its done when you're old enough to look after yourself. It's taken as a transitioning from boyhood to manhood. It's a cultural practice, not a religion "I'm a Christian". You do it as proof to society that you are no longer a boy now you're a man. Mostly its done when you're 16yrs and above.

I did it when I was 20 last year and most of my age group had done it when they were 18.

I can tell you the procedure is very painful you don't sleep at night you monitor the wound 24/7. You change the herb on the wound in every 10min and you're only allowed to sleep a few minutes. That is why the wound heals quickly in 2 weeks and does not get an infection.

In your case of which is different from mine I think the most important thing is to change those bandages and apply cream exactly at the time the doctor advises. The guy will want the wound not to be disturbed to avoid pain but the less you disturb it the worse it gets. let you or daddy gently do it for him if he is scared.

And mommy please don't be too worried he is in the good hands of the doctors so the wound will surely start to heal and that I can assure you.

Right now give him much emotional support and love and tell him how proud you are of him in every step he takes. Because the pain can make him feel very lonely at times.

[Therunner11 in reply to Theo99]

Thank you. I’m certainly on at him to get that antibiotic cream on. I just want him better asap! He seems a lot brighter today. I think abs hope he’s turned a corner after the worst week of his life. I was very worried about him so many times. It’s taken it’s toll on me too.

It’s been very hard to reassure him when in my heart I haven’t known if he was actually ok or not at times with what was going on with his infection. I truthfully thought he might lose his penis things got that bad!

What is this herb you have to use. Sounds fascinating. I’ve kept telling him I’m so proud of him and how well he’s done. I’m so shocked at the amount of pain and excruciating agony an infection can bring!

[Theo99 in reply to Therunner11]

The herb is only found in South Africa

How is the guy now? Has there been any positive progress?

He's been in my prayers ever since.

[Therunner11 in reply to Theo99]

Hi. Thanks so much for asking about him. He’s a whole lot better thank goodness.

His wound is still bleeding sometimes and he still has this dry waxy substance at the end of his penis which is set like wax and so hard to get off!

I just hope he’s on the road to recovery now and that he has no further issues in his healing up.

I think his mental health was badly hit from his infection and I feel he has PTSD from the infection and having the agonising trips to A&E which were ever so traumatic for him.

[Theo99 in reply to Therunner11]

It's good to hear that there's some good progress that has been going on.

He must make sure that he constantly clean the wax, he should try first to sock it even if just the part with the wax. If he tries to remove the wax while it's dry it will cause cracks which might open up a wound on his penis.

Yeah as I told you mental health needs to be considered when going through the process especially if there are some complications that happen.

[Therunner11 in reply to Theo99]

Yes. That makes sense. I must tell him to not pick at the wax when dry. I’m hoping it will come away naturally when he bathes.

With his mental health I just keep reminding him that he now needs to put it behind him and that the infection was the reason he had such a difficult time but how amazing he dealt with it all. Poor lad. Like I say, I’m just praying he has no further complications and I hope one day he says he has no regrets of circumsision

[amisfit]

I have just gone through this. I was not to soak or remove and return to hospital which I did and had to be removed with force. The pain was the most I have endured and I had heart failure 2 years ago and a post went straight through my foot as a teenager but still not as painful as the removal of that bandage. The hospital put on another bandage which this time did fall off on its own. My op was particularly bad the doc said because I had an underlying condition and I had had it for many years.

[Therunner11 in reply to amisfit]

Oh my word!! I wonder why it has to hurt so bad 😩. I think my son will be forever traumatised by his bandage coming off which was made wayyyy worse because he had a bad infection. I hope you’re doing well now

[amisfit in reply to Therunner11]

It is because the bandage has to be wound tightly around the appendage and then there was four days of blood. For many people it will fall off but for me this did not happen so had to be pulled off then a slick substance was added and I was we-bandaged and this time the bandage did fall off. I have not had an infection and hope he feels better now. Day 16 since the second bandage came off and a little light bleeding but improving but still looks horrendous because as the doc said it was extremely stuck down so won't be winning any beauty competitions.

[amisfit in reply to Therunner11]

Six weeks on I am now nearly recovered and in a week or two I will be thinking about resitting couch 2 5K again. The reason mine was so bad is because I have BXO but don't ask me to explain but the end result is it makes the foreskin extremely tight so doc said leave it until 1st May to be on the safe side so that will be a two month recovery. Thank you and hope your son is fully recovered now too Best M

[Theo99]

Mom has the 17yo fully recovered some updates plz

[Therunner11 in reply to Theo99]

Hi and thanks very much for asking ☺️ Well, he’s not complaining. Hope you are all good.

I don’t think his internal stitches have dissolved yet so I’m a bit worried about that.

He’s back to doing all his sporting activities and doesn’t say he’s sensitive anymore. So I assume that’s all good.

Even though he went through the very most horrendous time of his life and a time I thought he’d lose his penis I asked him if he had any regrets and he said no because it needed doing anyway but it’s not something he’d ever want to go through ever again.

It’s certainly left him sore mentally, he sometimes mentions what it was like for him and how severe the pain was. I keep telling him to not think about it anymore and that he came through it ok in the end. It’s left a mental scar on me too seeing him like that and having to share his bed with him to look after him at his age proves how vulnerable he was and that he really needed round the clock care.

I think he was just very unlucky with his infection. Had it not been for that I think he’d have been ok. Who knows. Take care

[Amosmoses]

I am glad he has support but I am sure a 17 year old boy does not appreciate mom seeing him and knowing so much about this

[Therunner11 in reply to Amosmoses]

We are very close thankfully. I’m very happy that he can talk to me about things lots of young boys can’t to their mums. They suffer in silence and that really breaks my heart. He’s really not bothered by what I know and what I saw. He was completely and utterly desperate.

[Theo99 in reply to Therunner11]

Wow Mom I think you're every child's dream mother. I'd like to say you've done a great job in building that solid relationship with your son. I think there's nothing so hurtful to a parent than to know that your child is suffering but there's nothing you can do about it because they won't let you since you don't have that solid bond.

I'm happy that there's been some great recovery for him. Well thats what I also said that its not something I'd do it again😅😅.

As I said that time it is just a phase that you pass.

Take care 🙂

[Therunner11 in reply to Theo99]

Thank you. I’d like to think I’m a dream mother. My parents were not open whatsoever, I couldn’t talk to them at all. I want my kids to tell me whatever they need to. I’m here for them 110pc day or night. Like, my parents never read a single book to me as a child, that was terrible. I decided I’d read to my kids, I bought hundreds of books and read to them all every night. In turn. I’d always be buying the best books constantly. Maybe a little over board at times. I loved it. They loved it. I gave up work to bring them all up. I hated my mum going off to work. I’m certainly not perfect but I’ve done my best.

You’re right. It’s a phase and it passes. I told my son it’s like child birth. It’s the most horrendous pain EVER but it’s worth it and that you must never think about what you went through. Just know you got through it and it was for the best. Take care 🙂