Any spouses out there trying to understand/... - Meningitis Now

Meningitis Now

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Any spouses out there trying to understand/help your SO deal with VM?


My hubby had VM 3 yr ago and we both get frustrated at each other over trying to cope with the long lasting effects it’s had on him/family. Can anyone relate? Advice please? It’s terrible to watch him deteriorate yet has no desire to try to over come this. I try to get him to walk, exercise, swim anything but not a chance. He sleeps all of the time, family comes over (grandkids) he rushes off to bedroom to escape. I try really hard to be sympathetic but it’s so frustrating to understand him and this horrible virus.

6 Replies

Does you husband have people helping him? Like a neuropsychologist? Or support group like this? I am 2,5 years in trying my best to recover. It’s a rollercoster! For me and my boyfriend. I feel quilty for putting him trough this all. I know it’s not my fault but docters say people recover in 6 weeks or so but it’s just not true!! It’s such a challenge. For me meditation really helps. How are you coping? Do you have anybody to talk to? I wish you all the best! It’s so hard!

We have been told up to two years recovery with possible long lasting effects.Emily is now over two years post VM and suffers chronic headaches and sight problems.It is very hard not being able to help her and she spends a lot of time just lying down in her room.I am sure it’s very hard for anybody to see someone suffering and yes it is having a huge impact on our family life.

I can relate only not to that degree. My husband had bacterial meningitis a month ago and naively went back to work less than a week after being in hospital for a week. Looking back I should have insisted on more time off and then a reduced work schedule to ease him back in. He uses all his energy for work then comes home and sleeps. I understand and am doing my best to support him. It's so sad and hard. We have 6 & 9 year old boys, I work full-time as well, and both of us have pretty demanding work/parenting schedules. I'm so exhausted and falling behind at work. We were given absolutely no recovery plan or suggestions, or outline of what to expect. I'm glad I've found this site. He's literally slept all day today because he has a terrible headache. I'm not angry but concerned. And, yes, frustrated at the situation. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

Hello, You can find my 28 year old daughter, Rosie S' Story, via the link on the forum stories from the home page.

We found that cranial massage worked wonders for her. Her job is working with horses on pretty much a daily basis and is very physically demanding.

It is rare for a story to be so positive and we have tried to let people know that this amazing complementary therapy worked for her. It helps release the spinal fluid which VM leaves a blockage for. Rosie is pretty much cured after around 10 sessions coupled with actupuncture, although found awesome relief after only one appointment. She is now free of all pain killers and antidepressants and feels right back to her old self.

We can only let you know what worked for her. It's not for all, but has now given amazing relief for many. It seems the success could be to do with the skill of the cranial osteopath you use. So it is important to find out the osteopaths credentials and experience in this specialised field particularly dealing with VM sufferers, if you can. (Not all osteopaths realise that this helps VM sufferers, it is often carried out on young babies with birthing problems). You need an osteopath and not a therapist who mearly has some training in cranial massage.

If your husband is getting the violent headaches and feeling lethargic and depressed after a few weeks, give this complementary therapy a go, it really could be worth it and save being on prescribed drugs, along with months, years, of unnecessary suffering.

Kind wishes and best of luck

I have migraines 24 hours a day but I found a good pain specialist. If your husband has just givin up or is hurting from the effects of VM those ate two different problems. I am 72 and I lift weights everyday to keep me feeling both mentally and physically strong. He needs to find something to motivate himself. Tell him I said if this old man can do it so can he. I suffer every day but I won't let it win. May HE Bless you both.

Hello there - I had VM July of 2013 and I still have issues with extreme fatigue, bone and joint soreness, and headaches. I am remarkably better than I was after diagnosis though. There will be ups and downs as time goes on. Everyone is different in their recovery process. I'm glad you found this amazing website and the awesome people who are on it. It really helped me alot to hear other folks stories and get feedback. The doctors I have had, in Arizona, really don't know how to treat the long term side effects that come with VM. It is very valuable to read the different tips and remedies that have or have not worked for other folks. It will help you plot the best course for recovery. Best of Luck and hang in there!!!!!

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