Emotional breakdown came out of nowhere.....

[AlliG]

Hi there, Do any of you that are post VM experience emotional breakdowns that don't make much sense?

I have on two occasions now just burst into floods of tears & its felt like a panic attack, struggle to get my breath & its uncontrollable.

Yesterday I was in a meeting with my boss & she was challenging me on some training I'd requested, out of nowhere I felt this rush of emotion & before I knew it I was in floods of tears unable to calm down. Every time I tried to speak my breath was taken. I was so embarrassed. My reaction was not normal & certainly not in context of the conversation.

I feel like I've lost my confidence, lost the fight in me that I used to have. I'm finding that I challenge less & just accept. I was not like this post VM. I would fight my corner & wasn't shy to speak out, now I question everything & feel myself backing off.

It's the second time I've broken down & I am worried it will happen again. I'd accept it if I had a reason to react in that way but my boss & I were talking openly & she was raising valid questions.

Feel like a failure in my job. I have a well paid, quite demanding job. I manage a team of people & have a lot of responsibility & I'm worried I'm going to sacrifice my career. I can't just have emotional breakdowns

Anyone else had this? I'm nearly 12wks post VM.

[Covenham]

Hello AlliG - I was so sorry to hear what you're going through because I can identify with it totally.

You say you're back at work and in a demanding job whereby you're managing a team of people and therefore, have additional responsibility to them and the company. That sounds like a 'tall order' for someone just 12 weeks post VM.

I remember one of the things that I found after I had VM in 2011 was that I'd lost my confidence. I became quite anti-social and isolated, as I found even being in groups of people really difficult to deal with at times. It was like I'd had a personality change. If you read some of the other Posts on here, you'll find this is quite common actually.

Have you spoken to anyone from Meningitis Now? They were really wonderful to me and offered me a lot of support. Would your GP be of any help? I ask this with caution, as so many GP's don't understand about the post-effects of Meninigitis in adults.

How much time did you have off work after your VM to recuperate? With hindsight, do you feel you went back to work too early? Do you have any other side-effects: headaches, dizziness, tiredness, light/sound sensitivity etc?

I'm not medically qualified AlliG, I'm just someone who has had VM and is still learning a lot about it all. I don't think for one moment that you're having an emotional breakdown but I do feel this is all connected in with your recent illness and the fact that it's going to take longer than just 12 short weeks for your body, and more importantly your brain, to recover.

I had Meningitis and Encephaltis so, the virus went into my brain as well as my meneges and it caused quite a lot of mayhem. It takes a while for the brain's intricate wiring system to re-establish itself, after such a sudden and vicious attack

Don't give up, try to be patient albeit I know it's frustrating at times and do have as much rest as you can at home.

Stay well and I hope you enjoy a relaxing and peaceful Bank Holiday weekend

[Mdroney]

Hi Allig, I totally agree with Covenhams comments. 3 yrs post VM & I have the same recurring issues. Your body needs time to recover, your nervous system has been seriously compromised. I too was a very strong willed professional , who also had a melt down at a managerial meeting (not like me at all). I pushed myself to hard to soon & ened up in the hospital with a re-occurrence. My personality has def been compromised & I'm learning to accept the new me!! LOL......try to reduce your stress & be good to yourself , eating healthy, exercise & meditation , have been key in my managing disease . I also take one day at a time, this helps also!!!. All the best , I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers!! 😀🙏

[sopie]

Yes I have done that exact same thing post MM. I was in hospital administration and worked under constant stress w doctors - lawyers- and patients in law suits. I worked 19 yr after my 1st hospitalization of a total of 17. However I recently about 1 yr ago was let go. I believe most of the reason was my worsening ability to manage stressful situations effectively. The panic episodes seem to be increasing but for me my first case of MM was in 1994.

[Hidden]

Hi I'm 10 weeks post bacterial meningitis,pneumonia and sepsis. I was in a coma for 8 days now at home my hearing is almost shot. Short term memory bad and left leg/ankle not fully mobile I also have problems with my hands and body tremmoring. These things were enough to cope with but recently I have started to experience emotional breakdowns. The slightest thing turns me into a complete wreck and I don't want to be around. I can't work, friends base is pretty small and I doubt I will ever get back to a normal life. I know I am a different person. People tell me to be positive and things will get better but it's hard to see it right now

[becca823]

ugh...although the physical pains are lessening 1 month post VM the confusion,disoriented, doom and gloom isolated alone feeling....hope everyone here is getting better...