I am feeling very frustrated and annoyed and don't know how to handle the situation.
Basically social services are messing around with my son who has autism, anxiety and OCD. We are looking for supported accommodation for him in order to help him become independent and work on his challenges . He was allocated a social worker in November in order to help him with the search of the appropriate accommodation. We feel that the person is not delivering what she should and doesn’t seem reliableShe is late for appointments, keeps rearranging, once didn't even turn up, can you imagine the distress it created !
We are looking for supported accommodation and the process started last November... the social worker said to our son last week that she was going to present his assessment (4 months later) to the panel for agreement for a specific accommodation.
In the meantime we contacted the Manager to make her aware of the situation and the distress it has been causing our son and ultimately us. She told that she would come back within 10 days. Over 2 weeks later, as we didn't hear from her we emailed her back.She responded that the social worker was on leave and that she would come back to us the following Wednesday with more details but as we didn’t hear from her yesterday, we emailed her back to which she responded I didn’t respond as the Social Worker did reply to you.
The sad thing is that our son is eager to live independently again and especially to work on his personal challenges .
This is the response from the social worker when I asked her why it took so long and made her aware that she was constantly late. Her lateness is not a one off it’s constant!!
“The reason that this is only just going to panel is because your son was initially saying that he wanted to explore other accommodation options. (She’s the one who offered options as there might not availability at the place we’re looking at. My first question is: can’t they offer alternatives?)
When I saw your son last he had decided that he wanted to wait for a vacancy at a specific one (he chose the specific one after their recommendation as it was suitable for his needs).
I apologise for being 10 minutes late to the appointment. ( this is after we made her aware and her manager that being late was creating lots of anxiety!) The nature of my job is unpredictable and whilst I appreciate that it causes anxiety, it was beyond my control. I do try my very best to arrive on time. (Not really, she is all over the place and even forgot to turn up once
I am happy to have a further telephone conversation with you, or if your son is happy for you to be present during my visits, I would also be happy with that.”
Her and her manager never gave us a reason why the assessment had only been presented to their panel last week. My second question is why is it taking so long? Is it normal procedure? My third question is what am I supposed to do if her Manager is not handling the situation?
What are your thoughts?
Thank you
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Barbado
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Hi there. You have my sympathies in your frustration with social services. My daughter has been living with us for the past four years, after we removed her from a supported living placement where there was a safeguarding concern and inappropriate behaviour by a senior member of staff, yet SS tried to argue that it was in her best interests to remain there and that we were being unreasonable for removing her.
Inevitably, social services will claim that any shortcomings are due to them being under huge pressure and I have no doubt that there is truth in this. Even in the best-run services, appointments run over time, delays arise due to external factors and mistakes are made. However, my personal belief is that the system is badly constructed, ill-managed and staffed by many wrong-minded people and this is why there is so much friction between SS and families and things sadly go wrong. There are individuals in SS who genuinely do try to meet the needs of those they are working with, but there are also some who seem to believe that, just because they are the appointed worker, they know best and that the opinion of those closest to the person are only of secondary importance - stupid arrogance, and it should be stamped out.
I think all you can really do is keep records of any failures and concerns with regard to your son's care, continue to challenge things that are not in his best interests, and do your best to offer him assurance that everyone is working towards his goal but that it takes time to get things right. .
My very best wishes to you for a positive outcome, hopefully without too much further delay.
Hi, I can empathise with you because we have a similar experience. Our social worker would say one thing in Face to face meetings at home and then wouldn't respond to emails about further enquiries. His manager is even worse, never picks up calls or responds to emails. I eventually end up giving up because there's so much going on. I have asked many times to be provided the details of the people who are above the manager so I can contact them, but I'm told someone would get back to me which never happens.
I have been wanting to write to the MP or ombudsman but can't find energy to deal with another task. They are very aware that parents are exhausted and there's no other option, they have been getting away with much worse and will keep getting away with it hence why they do what they do.
I completely understand understaffing and high work loads but they can be honest about it and not treat us this way.
Please try to have meetings recorded if possible and ask for email communication so there's a record of what happened. Incase you ever have to complain to someone higher up then you will have a record of what happened.
Thank you, yes started with email communication and she contradicts herself. Am going to contact an advocate and my local MP. It is ridiculous! I’m thinking of people who have no one to represent them and have to struggle! Not good.
You are welcome. Exactly, they contradic themselves all the time And I feel like I have to constantly repeat myself, don't you look through the file before coming to speak to me ? I know I also think of people who find it difficult to communicate or people with language barriers. Good luck and if you have any success please do share x
I totally agree with all you say. It really is important to keep an email trail so you have evidence of conversations and timescales. I wish we all had more energy to let MPs and ombudsman know what is going on.
your situation seems to be common. My son’s first placement failed spectacularly after only 4 days back in 2019. He came back to us and we heard nothing from SS for 3 months and it took another 4 months before the SW went to panel for funding for a different placement, which was turned down as the SW hadn’t even visited the home and couldn’t answer any of the panels questions. Of course the pandemic was then the excuse for no further progress. I wrote to my MP and she contacted them and things then started moving. He has moved again since then into a more suitable placement which again took ages and in the end I emailed the Head of the commissioning team to complain and he moved 3 weeks later. Keep notes of everything. If it’s a meeting or tel conversation make detailed notes and let them know you are doing it. They don’t like it as it holds them to account but it’s the only way. There are a few good SW around. Usually newly qualified unfortunately which means they have to run everything past their manager before anything happens. Good luck
Good luck. This sounds very familiar. (Underfunded) Social services tend to want their social workers in 2 places at once, which does of course create distress. I would always under promise to my autistic brother when possible, so the (very many) gaps and waits in my version of this journey stayed out of his head as far as I could manage that.
It also dawned on me fairly late in the process that the people that I would very much instinctively want to complain about were the same people (and the only people) who could get me the accommodation etc needed, so in the end I got quite stoic and tactical about just persistently seeking what was needed. and took the rotation of missed meetings, staff on leave, missing information, slow action , in my stride. I just planned that in to the journey time, and into what I told my brother was "happening"
Although it's technically possible to resort to cqc poa, etc, that might not help in the short term, and your sw sounds willing to engage with what resources they've got. (Getting a named sw who's not off sick or left altogether can be a luxury).
A system where it was all works work would come from 10 years of investment, and that's not in our power for our relatives right now.
Now you know what you're dealing with (it sounds familiar) I'd just be tempted in the short term to alter the truth a bit for your son (" the meeting is at 9.15") for a 9.00 meeting, etc, and keep as much of the rest secret until it's done. Hopefully that will help you focus on "helping and encouraging" the sw. I wrote dozens of very polite, encouraging but also firm emails starting with "thank you for your work on this" ... And they did finally get the result. Probably on a similar time scale as most of their other actions with other people. I decided not to take it personally, despite the huge distress, etc. it was a problem to be solved.
It can be very hard. And I hope you find the best way of getting what you need. So many us have been the same road at the same speed for the same reasons. Let us know when you get there!
What you are saying makes sense. Thank you. I found out through another professional, who wanted to remain professional, that this specific SE is very unreliable! Anyway she is visiting my son next week and we are going to have a chat with her.
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