Respite

[Mandi73]

Hi there. Help needed.I'm struggling at the mo with my,severely mentally disabled sister.

Hubby recovering from cancer.

I still have to work. Had panic attacks, n a breakdown.

If I put her in respite for a week, if I need to leave her longer, I need more time to recover, I need more weeks, maybe months.

Will I get into trouble?.

Social Worker well aware of my situation, but doing nothing.

She is on supported living list, just waiting for a place.

I'm truly just broken, carnt go on any more.

Thanks

[Maurice_Mencap Partner]

Hello Mandi73 , thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you have a huge amount to deal with right now, I can't imagine how much pressure it's putting on you.

Please give our helpline a call on 0808 808 1111 to speak to our trained advisers, they will be in the best position to give you advice and support if you need.

[SuckingSherbertLemon]

Dear Mandy

Love,I feel your agony and my heart,thoughts and prayers are with you in this horrible situation for you and your family.I have struggled with my own tough times (but NOTHING compared to what you are experiencing) stay as strong and resilient as you are-you are NOT defeated.

❤️❤️❤️🙏

[Mandi73 in reply to SuckingSherbertLemon]

Thank u so much for that, those kind words means a lot. My sister isn't a bad person, just challenging, but , just Need more support in these tough times. Respite is a godsend, need longer.

Fingers crossed, prayers are answered. X ❤️

[DrSarahmac]

oh gosh what a dreadful time you’re having. You certainly need to get your sister a placement asap. I do hope speaking to mencap will help you progress with that. It sounds like life is hard anyway if you work and care for your sister but with your husband being ill on top you must be at breaking point. I do hope your work is supportive and mencap can help. We had a crisis last year when my husband was ill and I was struggling with that and supporting my semi independent daughter. It made me ill with the lack of sleep and my epilepsy returned after 30 years. But it did force the hand of social services who put in place some support for my daughter. It was a tough time but it had a silver lining. I hope you have one too. Take care and come back to chat or vent if you need. Big love xxx

[DrSarahmac in reply to DrSarahmac]

Just one other thing. When my daughter was in hospital during all this the sister was asking about our circumstances. After I’d explained she told me to refuse for Ella to come home until there was support in place. Best advice I ever had. Without it I’d have just tried to carry on. Maybe it’s something to consider?

[Mandi73 in reply to DrSarahmac]

Hi there Thank u for replying. I think I'm gunna have to force ther hand. Tbh, a nurse who assessed my sister did say, when she's goes into respite she's staying there till you sort summit out.Honestly, we removed her from a horrific situation. And it's like we dont get anything bk from social services.

We did there job for them !!!

Arrrggghhh

X 😍❤️

[DrSarahmac]

Yes I think you do. Best advice I ever had from a health professional. Changed our lives. I was coping but obviously getting exhausted (hence the return of epilepsy). I lost my driving licence because of that and that just made things even worse. Once the system kicked in it was amazing. She stayed in respite until they had set up the PA support. It's been really good for her and for me. Good luck x

[Mandi73 in reply to DrSarahmac]

Thanks luv, wev thrown everything at this. Its no1s fault, just carnt go on like anymore, the lack of support is shocking, I applaude the carers, they do an awsume job.

However, with my own health issues, ( addisons disease) a fatel condition.

I'm scared I'm gunna go. X

[DrSarahmac in reply to Mandi73]

Ok well def give tge helplibe that Maurice pointed you to (above) a call. They can give you the support you need until things are sorted 👍

[LearningLot]

You wont be in trouble. No one is legally obligated to provide support to another adult. I would call adult social care and make it clear that you cant cope and need your sister to be housed as soon as possible. And let them know you need a carer's assessment as well.

[Mandi73 in reply to LearningLot]

OK, thank u. I will do Mon, x ❤️

[Mandi73]

I absolutely get wer u coming from. I don't give a crap about the money, they thing we do tho. I don't claim carers or anything My sister just gets what's she's entitled to, when we took her on. Never changed.

It's shocking how we carers get treated. .

No empathy , I'm gunna email or call mon,

I'm gunna be strong and really tell them.

X 💙

[SuckingSherbertLemon in reply to Mandi73]

Completely right-I feel exactly the same!!