game addiction : hi I don’t know where to turn I am... - Mencap

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game addiction

Picklebum1946 profile image
12 Replies

hi I don’t know where to turn

I am scared for a young lady of 23 she has autism adhd and anxiety disorder she lives with us she I feel has a game addiction from the moment she wakes into the night she’s on her phone or ipad gaming has no friends only online and robotic in games

I am her appointee for her DWP pip and the bank as third party this worked well until she went to the bank and someone helped her set up internet banking of which I was unaware off until a few weeks after

I have saved fir her future for her for many years for her future for when she goes onto a place ocher own supported she has transferred all of her money into her current account and has one left all gone to apple .com spent on coinage for mainly sims 2

We are talking here 11000 o ppl infs in 4 weeks shows no remorse cannot see the prob any ideas for help please

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Picklebum1946 profile image
Picklebum1946
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12 Replies
Annabellelily profile image
AnnabellelilyCommunity friend

Hi there, this sounds like a very difficult situation to manage, especially as I’m sure you just want what’s best for her. My family had something similar a few years ago with my autistic brother spending a huge amount of money on the Apple app store. My dad called them to explain the situation, and surprisingly in the end managed to get a full refund on the money spent. I relayed this to a friend’s dad relatively recently also, as his daughter with learning disabilities had also done a similar thing, and he also got a full refund from just calling and saying it was his child who had made the purchases. Both my brother and friend's sister were in their 20s at the time also. Apple were incredibly understanding, so if you have the time I would recommend trying that.

Lindypops56 profile image
Lindypops56

Good morning

We had similar issues with our son. We applied for full financial and welfare Guardianship and we now completely control his money. This not only protects him from exploitation but it has also hugely reduced his anxiety as everything is predictable and in control. I strongly advise you seek full power of attorney.

Mybestfriends profile image
Mybestfriends

I would, as others have said, call Apple up & explain & seek applying for full Guardian ship. 'Capacity' is huge word under all these things, sounds as if she doesn't have Capacity in Finances/money, & no idea of consequences regarding how much she spends, future etc. You can set an amount for her to use, by having control over her finances, monthly transfer from a Savings Acct then into her own, the Savings keep from her. Best Wishes

BenjiB profile image
BenjiB

As you are her appointee you are responsible for her money. The reason an appointee is appointed is because the young person lacks capacity. I would phone the dwp and arrange for her benefits to be paid directly to you and then you transfer to her what you think she needs. You do not need financial deputyship to do this. Being her appointee is enough. I am my son’s appointee. My son’s money comes to my account. I then transfer it to a separate “pot” within my account and only transfer the money he needs week to week into his account.

Picklebum1946 profile image
Picklebum1946

thank you I am appointee with DWP but at the bank 3 rd party which basically means I can access her savings accounts this wirked extremely well when she hadn’t got internet banking helped by a staff member which I knew nothing about been onto the bank asking why I wasnt alerted to very large monies going out of her account they said basically her money has capacity no restrictions nothing they can do

In jan is to have capacity ASSES for financial

Thanks for reply

BenjiB profile image
BenjiB in reply toPicklebum1946

You don’t need deputyship if only benefits are involved. You just need to phone the DWP and have the money paid into your bank account. It’s your responsibility as her appointee.

helpenquiry profile image
helpenquiry

hi, i have recently finished some training with YGAM - just google they are a national organisation and they have lots of resources and advice specific to SEND and gambling - including gaming - as it works on the same reaction stimuli as gambling. Really helped some of the young people we work with. hope it helps, angie

White25 profile image
White25

My daughter was exactly the same with her iPad, she was on it almost all day playing games and buying coins but I was paying for them, she would get fed up with the games she had, she had around 100 games. She was communicating with a bloke, and a member of my family said he could be a phaedophile, so they reported it to the police, so they could come and talk to her about it. The police reported it to social services and they removed her from my home, they were very concerned about all the hours she was on the iPad, she had iPad locked. Spending too much time on iPads is very bad for you. She is now in residential care, a nice place only half hour drive from where we live. She is on her iPad only one hour morning and one hour evening now, at college all day, much better structure. We also had trouble with her eating, I cooked fresh food every day, my daughter said it was yock and would not eat it, I was paying £30.00 a week on pittas, she also ate McDonald’s and kfc. She had her breakfast in the bakery every morning. If she was at home I would be half bankrupt by now.

FT2021 profile image
FT2021

Hi, I work for the Fifth Trust a charity providing day support for YP 16+ and adults with a range of learning disabilities. A number of parents we work with have experienced similar issues around online purchases. As well as other online safeguarding issues.

This is a key reason why we have developed a website specifically for the autistic and learning difficulties community.

The site provides video based entertainment and personal development videos in a range of categories as well as some simple games. It is designed to be as independent in use for an individual as possible with some unique features to aid navigation and be user friendly.

We also offer a number of courses including a basic internet safety course. This course is designed for the videos to stimulate conversation around the subject.

We have taken the safety of our members seriously. Therefore we have no membership communication ie no chat boxes, whilst still trying to develop a community with a members page with polls and a gallery of members work.

The site is a progressive website which means that it can be converted to an app for Android and IOS devices. Information on how to do this is on our news page. Doing this means access to the internet is restricted to this site, so long as other apps on the device are blocked.

Whilst there is a monthly charge, this gives access to everything on the site with no further payments required.

We know that the site will not be for everyone, but it may be worth trying with any person who is having difficulties around safe internet use. Therefore, we offer a 50% off months trial using the code FTC50 at the checkout. If the site is not for you simply cancel before the second payment.

Visit ftconnect.org for more information

Another suggestion is Google Familylink.

Google familylink is a great app for monitoring and restricting internet access and use. I understand that we are discussing adult internet access and such restrictions are controversial in this context. But those with safeguarding responsibilities may find it a useful tool as it can be tailored to the individual.

The app allows the blocking of sites by age restriction and the ability to block specific sites manually.

It has a no payment feature or a setting where any payment requires the password of an app administrator.

In this situation in may prove very useful.

I have recently worked very closely with The Tizard Centre at Kent University on their safer online lives project. They have developed an app to help adults with autism and learning disabilities try to understand internet safety. The app is a role play, decision making game which raises awareness of the dangers the internet holds for users.

If you would like further information on the app or the Tizard Center's research please visit research.kent.ac.uk/tizard/... which includes a contact email for the project.

I really hope this helps those of you experiencing these issues and helps you find a resolution.

learner01 profile image
learner01

It sounds to me as though the bank may have some responsibility for what has happened. I thought that an Appointee account is supposed to be in the name of the Appointee because they are the ones responsible for dealing with the benefits so I don’t understand why the account isn’t in your name only. The fact that you are her Appointee is an indication that she is unable to manage her money. I think that it might be worth going back to the bank and showing them that you are her Appointee and why. You must have had letters from the DWP confirming your role and you can show that to the bank. If they aren’t aware already that she is vulnerable the DWP letters will show that to them and that they should take steps to ensure that she can’t just access her money without any supervision.

BenjiB profile image
BenjiB in reply tolearner01

Complete agree. The benefit should be paid to the appointee and then transferred to the person as and when. That’s the whole point of having an appointee. You don’t need anything like Deputyship for this. Deputyship is only needed if there is other money from property or investments or something.

Hissone profile image
Hissone

Wow! That is a problem I only wish I could advise she could do with seeing someone to help her

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