Global Learning Delay and mental health

[Adria2024]

My 28 year old son has GLD and is on the autistic spectrum . This was diagnosed when he was about 4 before I adopted him.

He appears to go through very strange phases and I have wondered if he could also be bi- polar or a similar mental health condition.

We had thought that things were improving when he indicated for the first time that he would like to get a job. I then found a charity close to where he lives who run courses for adults with learning disability to help them get skills needed in the workplace. He completed the course and was very proud of his diploma. We thought that there was light at the end of the tunnel. However, over the last few weeks he has become extremely angry that the Charity involved haven't found a job for him yet. We have explained what they are doing behind the scenes but he will not accept anything anyone is saying. He just tells us all that we are all interfering in his life.

Currently he is refusing to speak to anyone in the family, even his birth brother who was adopted at the same time . We know that he wants independence but he has no financial means for this. He now only gets PIP at the very basic level. I think it should be appealed but he won't allow me to help. As PIP has reduced he gets Universal Credit at the lowest level and again he refuses to allow me to get his doctor to provide the relevant medical evidence to support a higher level. UC is also extremely trickly at there is an expectation that he'll get a job which is proving to be almost impossible and in addition as he only gets basic UC it appears on the "system" that the had nothing wrong with him!

He has always had obsessions, but it is his current obsession that is now causing huge problems. He is obsessed with Sweden having stayed over there with his former girlfriend who has now sadly died. When their relationship failed he was destitute and I had to fly out to get him back to the UK. He's been back about 30 months or so but we have found out that he has booked a one way flight plus a hotel for a week thinking he can stay and settle in Sweden. He has no money ( the UC will be cut almost straight away) ; future accommodation ; job ; he doesn't know anyone or speak the language ! I feel that this is possibly a sign of an underlying mental illness that he really needs help with. Does anyone have any ideas of (a) what it might be and (b) how best to address this with him?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and foe any help you can give me.

[Jofisher]

goodness this must be so hard for you all when your trying your best to support him. Have you tried the mencap helpline or rethink or mind for some advice. He would be at risk and could be now of self neglecting so you could raise a self hairdo h with. Social services and raise your concerns for his welfare there. They can then look into everything for you. Good luck with everything and please do let us know how you get on bless him so difficult.

[Adria2024 in reply to Jofisher]

Thank you. My first step is to see if I can persuade him to see a doctor . Last night he opened some dialogue with us so I am hopeful that he'll agree.

[Jofisher in reply to Adria2024]

That’s good to hear all the best

[Hidden]

I do not think that your son is under the influence of a mental illness. Far from it. If anything this is his way of coping with the Loss of His former girlfriend. Losing someone to death is very tramuatic especially if you have been very close to that Person. Maybe if you put yourself in your son's shoes for a moment and feel what He is feeling with the Pain of the Loss you might not be so quick to judge him. However He may be suffering from a very serious Lack of judgment if He wants to move without having the proper resources to do so. So in answer to your first question I do not think it is a mental illness and two speak to him about How he feels and go through the things that He has which will remind him of what He still has in Life. But if He still wants to go then report the matter to Local authority and Let them know that you are cocerned that He may not be able to make rational safe deicisons for himself and then go on from there. I am sorry if this is not helpful but I do not know what else to say. Good luck to you.

[Adria2024 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your response. He has been upset about his ex girlfriend and of course we have all supported him over this. As a family it is not the first death he has experienced. I am not a person to judge. I know my son and I feel that it is far more deep rooted. As a family we shall continue to nurture him and hopefully persuade him not to go.

[fiddlers in reply to Adria2024]

Hello Adria, I empathise with your family and your son - so very difficult. Our son, also adopted, has similar diagnosis, Global Developmental Delay, Learning disability, Dyspraxia and is on the Spectrum. He has always struggled especially with change and around issues of loss. I believe that this is a complex mix of issues around his disabilities and also related to separation, loss and severe neglect in his early years. He has tenuous links with members of his birth family. We also consider that issues around his early years and adoption contribute greatly to his emotional distress and vulnerabilities which further complicate his relationship with us- his adoptive family. A breakdown of a longstanding relationship with a girlfriend of many years was catasphrophic for him and he was very close to being sectioned. He has lived independently with support from the LA for many years but accepts greatly varying amounts of support from us when he is able and wishing to do so. The Adult disability Team mental health professionals have been very involved since the crisis surrounding the breakdown of his relationship. He has also had a great deal of support from an organisation that act as 'Appointees' to support him to manage his finances. He was persuaded by his former girlfriend and her family, that he would be better off getting a job and went on many training courses etc- and casual jobs. He was incapable of maintaining any employment and blamed everyone for not finding him the right job. In an ideal world, he would have received appropriate support, but that was not his experience. He lost his benefits, jobs and girlfriend. This all sounds hopeless but together, we have come through the worst. The key, for us, was to bring all of the Agencies together and agree a plan to support him together. He initially required intensive support and medication to get him through the crisis. We were also able to link up with those networks in the community that he had become estranged from and we became the conduit between professionals, family and friends in the community to cradle him through the crisis. Do not be disheartened and I hope that you are also able to tap into all of the resources and support that are available to get you through this. Networking, for us, was key and I wish you well as you work through this