My friend is alone and needs help.

[anonymoushelper8]

I have a friend with a mental disability who lives in the UK. Let's hide her behind the name Anna for now.

Anna lives with her mother. Her mother has a serious drinking problem. It’s gotten so bad that she’s been putting Anna in risky situations due to questionable drunken acts. Anna often starves at home because her mother is too drunk to buy food. She prioritizes alcohol above food.

Anna has no one else to turn to. Not a single relative cares for her. She also has no friends in the entire country because of her disability. I live in a different country and have no immediate way of helping her in-person. I know her as an online friend for 4 years.

She receives benefits because of her disability, but she needs her mother to actually purchase things because of her disability.

Anna understands that the only way she can help herself is to take action on her own. She wants to do this so much. However, her mental disability makes it impossible for her to communicate with people in-person.

I want to call emergency services because I fear for her safety. But, I also don’t want to do something that might make her situation even worse instead. She gets incredibly stressed out when around unfamiliar people in unfamiliar places.

She is in dire need of people that can (subtly) give her a safe place and help her grow as a person. I would love to hear anyone’s advice on what the best options are to get her the care she needs and deserves.

I have been giving her as much attention and care as I possibly can. But, there is a clear limitation on what can be done via the internet. It has also started to take a toll on my own mental health.

Looking forward to hearing from anyone. Thank you.

[Maurice_Mencap Partner]

Hello anonymoushelper8 , what you have described is a serious safeguarding issue and needs to be reported as soon as possible to the safeguarding team at the local authority - sometimes called the local council as well in the UK - of where your friend lives. You should be able to

The safeguarding team will require information to act, but will ensure that any information provided is treated in the strictest of confidence. They will do everything they can to prevent further distress to your friend, but will need to do what they can to ensure your friend is safe.

If you feel your friend is at an immediate risk of harm, don't hesitate to contact the emergency services.

I would also recommend you reach out to our Learning Disability Helpline team on [e-mail] for further support and advice.

[anonymoushelper8 in reply to Maurice_Mencap]

Thank you. This is very helpful information.

[Jofisher]

report to safeguarding at social services

[jazzy15]

Hi, I just want to second what Maurice has advised.

The town in which Anna lives, look up "adult services" which you will find through the towns local gov.uk website. You can ring the local council & ask for the adult safe gaurding coordinator & report exactly what you have described here, A social worker working within abuse & neglect will (hopefully) pick the case up.

If Anna knows who her GP is, it can be reported to the GP too.

I've experience with situations of a person in an abusive situation & fostered an older child into adult hood (18yrs & above) with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, so dealt with professionals that worked with vulnerable young adults. The support is there once you can access it, but I will be honest it can feel like a locked door.

I hope you can get it sorted.