My daughter is not eating or drinking, sometimes she is spoon fed, she is on Clonezapam, and she now knows it’s in her drinks, she spits out all drinks and food, they tell us there is nothing they can do about it. They tell us she is very smart.
There was supposed to be a meeting on 1 December, when we rang up to get the link they said the meeting is tomorrow 2 December, we rang on 2 December to get the link, they told us the meeting was yesterday 1 December, more lies. Has anyone had this problem with eating and drinking. It would be good to know.
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White25
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This is what happens to my son they think our loved o wS are stupid they’re not, my son knew when things were put in food and fluids and we had serious problems with this ourselves. This has to always be done as a best interest decision. WS this the case if not you need to know why this has happened and staff or carers need to find another way as it’s not right. Good luck I hope you can get it sorted ASAP
Is she not eating and drinking because she can taste the medication?
Or, is there another problem? Is your daughter living with you or with carers full time?
It sounds as if it could be anxiety or that she is not happy about something.
My son went through the same when he first started a special school, he lost so much weight that we were so worried he would not make it. he was fine before then. It appeared it was the schools failure, but i will not go into that. LUCKILY TO SAVE OTHERS THE SCHOOL WAS SHUT DOWN!
The problem now is that since then he has become very picky with his food and does not hava particualy healthy diet. Also like your daughter, he can disguise if things are added to his food.
Going by past experience, do you think you need to get to the bottom of the problem before it becomes more serious.
I cannot believe there is nothing they can do for your daughter, maybe you need to get as many people involved, Social worker, GP. and just tell them that you know your daughter best and that you know there is something she is not happy with.
She is in a small care home, we saw her two weeks ago, and they said she has not eaten or drank after seeing us, she is awful slow eating, she does look thin, takes about an hour to eat breakfast, they are spoon feeding at the moment to get some food into her. She does not want to take medication, as to why I do not know, has been taking it for 6 months. When she was in the previous care home she was not eating for a long time, only cake and they never to.d us. We cannot see her at the moment due to lockdown. She always had a thing about putting on weight. I hope she will be OK. They do know she suffers from anxiety.
It sounds as if they are aware of her problems, I hope they are taking the right approach. I am sorry you are going through such a worrying time. I hope you get it sorted soon.
Just a thought ? Could it be that your daughter doesn't like the feeling the meds give her so rejects the food because she knows it in there ??
It's very hard when eating problems set in .
My Son went away to a mencap residential college when he was 20 , he lost a lot of wieght while he was there which he didn't need to loose, carers said it's because he didn't want to eat and went to bed early. It took me a long time to get him to eat properly again when he came home at the end of the 3 year course.
I hope you can get this sorted for your daughter my thoughts are with you
Hi this is Awful they chuck her Meds, then the outcome, they say can't help you. Grrr. Well Mumma if it was my Son I think I would, ask firstly if Meds can be given as a Depot injection, also to Win Back Daughters Trust in the Fluids & Food she has at home, see if she will prepare & cook All meals with you, this takes Away the Untrusting of whats being given with Meds in. Hope this Helps ,x
Dear White25, I think you have posted before about your daughter’s situation. If she’s not eating or drinking she could eventually become very seriously ill. I think that you also mentioned that a meeting to discuss her care has not taken place. From your description of what happened about the meeting, at best it was a result of a misunderstanding but I suspect possibly not. It is really not good enough that you and your daughter are being treated in this way. I think that you need to seek legal advice and get support to challenge what is going on. There are solicitors who can help. I think Irwin Mitchell is one firm that deals with this sort of thing. You or your daughter may also be able to get Legal Aid to pay the costs.
We cannot get a solicitor we have no parental rights, daughter is care, they keep encouraging her to eat and drink, she is eating a small amount of food by being spoon fed and a small amount of drink, so it is something. She is very thin anyway, never ate much.
Dear White25, everyone has the right to have a solicitor. Your daughter has a right to have one herself and you can ask one to act for her, It is possible to go to court and seek to get your parental rights back. Social services or whoever has taken control of her care cannot legally do it without a court order. Your daughter cannot be legally kept anywhere unless it’s authorised by a court. It is called Deprivation of Liberty and whoever has put your daughter where she is, has to have permission from the Court of Protection to do so.
I know that sometimes people are put into care without these orders and it’s illegal.
A Deprivation of Liberty will only be allowed by a court if it’s in your daughter’s best interests and it doesn’t sound as though what is happening is. Your daughter is entitled to an Independent Mental Capacity Advocate who should help your daughter and speak up for her.
These decisions can be challenged and it is your right to have legal representation. Another solicitor that challenges abuses of people’s rights is Leigh Day.
No solicitor will act on our behalf, because we have no parental rights, they will be going to the courts to get power of attorney, we have no money. They do not want her coming back to us, our daughter will not talk, we were told she will not be coming home to us, but will be living near us, and we can visit. The advocate went to see her and she would not talk, they say she lacks capacity, lockdown on at the moment, so no visits.
I have replied to your previous posts and I am really sorry you were unable to attend that really important meeting. They should have made sure you were able to attend. It's very disappointing they did not and that is a concern in itself. It was in your daughter's best interests that you were there.
A previous poster mentioned the solicitors Irwin Mitchell. There was a test case challenge in 2019 where 3 families made a legal challenge with the help of Irwin Mitchell solicitors. Alex Rook was the solicitor who represented them. A quick mention of the case is as follows:
The parents of three young people with learning disabilities are going to court to challenge the current law which prevents them being able to make best interests decisions on behalf of their children as they are now over 18.
Ann-Marie Irwin and Alex Rook have since left Irwin Mitchell and set up their own firm, as follows:
They also have a Social Justice Fund and state the following:
We’re pleased to be able to offer legal support and advice, at no cost to successful applicants, via our Education, Health and Care (EHC) Social Justice Fund.
Please, please, please contact them and explain your situation. They may be able to offer you free advice or better still help you at no cost if your application to through their Social Justice Fund is successful.
It's worth a phone call to them. If you don't try you'll never know!
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