Temporary live in respite?

[LyraCat44]

Hello. Our son is nearly 15, and has a severe learning disability. He's unable to care for himself or be left alone for very long. About 98% o7f family life either focuses on him or is dictated by him.

Next year our daughter is doing her A levels, and we would really love to find a way to take her away for a few days somewhere special to celebrate. But we would need a live in carer for a few days to allow us to do it. Does anyone know if this is possible, and how much it might cost? We're in SE London.

thanks

[LazyXrayEyes2255]

I would say speak to social worker for disability but private care company might be better

[Tracidu]

Hi, If your son has a social worker or you can give the learning disabilities team in social services a ring , They can get an assessment arranged for him and a carers assessment for yourself . They could apply for a direct payment for respite for you . Good luck

[Chocolate-heals-all]

I do recommend that you get the care in place now so that, when you do go away, there’s a professional carer in your son’s life who has already built up a rapport with him.

You might also check out local community groups who might field volunteers to come out once or twice a week for an hour or two just to do something special with your son. That will mean that if you leave your son for a few days you can arrange for the volunteer to visit as normal and (informally) to provide an external check to ensure that things are going ok with your son.

Care is very expensive, especially good care, but (as others mentioned) you’re entitled to respite under the Children and Families Act, and it’s means-tested, but social services assess your son’s finances and not yours, so he is probably eligible to receive direct payments. You can contact the duty social worker in your local authority Children’s Services.

In our area there’s a single point of contact called Multi Agency Safeguarding Hub, but you shouldn’t let the word Safeguarding deter you. This isn’t about any failing on your part but about safeguarding your entitlement to live your life and his entitlement to be part of the community without always relying on family for support. In my experience social workers only take an interest if they’re afraid your son is at immediate risk of harm, but I finally got a result by emailing the local authority MASH citing the relevant legislation. The social worker visited and drew up a “care plan” which provided for a few hours a week of care which is funded by direct payments while I find support workers via an agency or privately. In our case, I cited the 2014 Care Act, because the years had gone by and my son was nearly 18.

You might write something like

“Please arrange for a proper assessment of my son’s care needs, and of my family’s needs as carers for him, as per Section 97 of the 2014 Children and Families Act”

Here’s a link to the legislation. If you read it then you see that it links to Section 17 of the 1989 Children Act which concerns a disabled child in a family where there are no concerns regarding abuse or neglect but there is reason for the family to receive support on account of the magnitude of the task of caring for a disabled child.

legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/20...

[Bergersil400]

I would say as others have said, get in touch with social worker not only to have one off respite but on a more regular basis. Known as short breaks.We went down this route when our daughter turned11. Our regular social worker then, arranged an assessment and shortly after we were given a placement with a lovely family who was a short breaks foster carer.

She was entitled to 3 nights every 4-6 weeks.

She basically came part of the carers wider family.

When she was 15 it was decided that respite within a short breaks respite bungalow for up to 4 children would better suit her needs, and so she went there until she was age 19.

The bungalow also provided emergency respite when needed so when my dad died she was able to stay for over a week. Again when my husband was working at the London Olympics they arranged a longer break for her. They also arranged camping breaks and holiday schemes during the holidays. We were sad when it had to end.

It put us at an advantage when she reached adult age as she got respite placements at other suitable accommodations which let her have longer breaks as she got about 50 nights per year.

When she was age 21 and adult social care no longer met her needs the social worker started the process for continuing health care which was put in place quickly.

She has been in supported living since 2022 when she was age 27 and I think coming up to age 30 the short breaks scheme made it easier for her to settle into her accomodation.

If you do go down short breaks scheme you will quickly get used to someone else providing the care for a shirt period to give you a break. Good luck.