Supported Living out of Area: Hi, I'm mum to a 3... - Mencap

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Supported Living out of Area

ljw1 profile image

Hi, I'm mum to a 35 year old son with a learning disability. We've been looking for a few years for supported living for him but haven't been shown anything we think will be suitable . We have however seen a lot of places that would be right for him in other areas but our local authority won't fund him out of area. This is really starting to cause me stress and seems so unfair. Has anyone any experience of taking their child out of area? Surely he has as much right to say where he wants to live as anyone? Do I need to move to get him in where we want him to live? I'm beginning to think he'll always have to live with me but what about when I'm gone....I want him settled and happy while it's in my hands. Would be good to hear of your experiences. Thanks x

30 Replies

Hi. If your local authority won’t fund him what about the local authority where you want to move him to ? I came across a lady who is associated with a group called bringing us together who may be able to help. Get in touch with them and they might be able to help. They are on Facebook and may have a website. Katie snd Pippa are the main contacts. It’s something I might want to do in the future but at the moment I’m battling my current local authority. Let me know how you get on

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to Eeviee

Hi, thanks for your reply. I've been told that the authority he wants to move into won't fund it, it has to come from where he lives now, just seems crazy to me....I have heard of people that have managed it but its been a battle....I'm also not able to view the properties until funding is in place....which I understand is a privacy issue for the tenants but makes it even more difficult for us. I will look them up on FB! Thank you! X

@ljw1 hi, im placed out of borough,so im being funded....and seen to by two different CLDTs.

the first one wont even recognise my name anymore if my mum ever forgetes which CLDT shes phoning up about anything as all they do is fund my care package,and for some reason one of them is my social worker but the other CLDT are my specialists,confuses the hell out of me.

the reason was to do with my phsical disability-the borough im from wasnt able to provide supported lving for me that had a downstares adapted place, and also allowed a cat,fish and two rabbits (outside).

funnily enough it has never met my needs and im in worse position than i was when in my home borough.

when i was in residential care, i was regulary housed out of borough as they coudnt provide one that met my needs,ive been all over the place, they really wont do it unless forced to somehow as it means their funding woud go into another counsils money pot.

im so sorry for both you and your son its a horible situation.

you need to get lots of evidence together as to why the other borough will be better for your son.

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to LDAutie

Hi, thanks for replying. They definitely like to make it as complicated as possible don't they! I've heard that if the local authority can't provide what's needed then they have to fund out of area but as far as they're concerned they can provide it, but no way my son is living in any of the properties we've been shown. An important part of his transition will be that he has a garden as he spends most of his time pottering in his greenhouse but I feel they think I'm asking too much but it's what he loves to do! So I'm going to push for that....or will have to get a petting zoo like you....! 😂 I've seen plenty of properties with gardens that have vacancies....just not in our town.Thank you for your reply and good luck to you x

In my experience there is no "settled and gone". Out of area presents lots of issues, in particular many have suffered abuse where family were unable to keep an eye on what is going on and this is one of the reasons it is out of favour.

SpeedyH profile image
SpeedyH in reply to Ronca

Ronda - ‘Out of area’ can mean five minutes down the road. Where I live, the next village, 5 minutes walk away, is in a different LA. There is no suggestion that this mum is looking for ‘settled and gone’, she is wanting to get her son happily and safely settled into his new home while she is still around to monitor the transition, rather than it be an emergency placement when she dies. She is being very wise and if there are no suitable houses within her LA boundary, she must look wider.

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to SpeedyH

Absolutely, the last thing I want is settled and gone. Settled and happy and still lots of interaction with his family and hopefully happy and settled for when we're not around. I dread it more than I can say and determined not to just place him anywhere that has a vacancy, hence us having been looking for about 10 years! We're exactly the same, within 5 minutes drive we will be in 2 different LA. We recently moved from one due to a change in our circumstances, when we lived there we had a town address but it came under another LA, education came from one, health from the other! We really like the look of a house half an hour away but can't get the funding but I am determined he will have the same rights as anyone when looking for a home and choosing where to live.Thank you for your reply and understanding x

SpeedyH profile image
SpeedyH in reply to ljw1

Have a look at cascaidr.org.uk. Search for their advice referral form. They are experts on social care law. They will point you in the right direction to find the relevant part of social care law to support you making a written compliant to the LA about their decision that they will not fund an out of area placement. Often a written complaint is enough to encourage them to review their decision. x

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to SpeedyH

That's great, thank you, I'll get onto that straight away! X

Ronca profile image
Ronca in reply to SpeedyH

In my sons case it was 250 miles away and involved 26 staff appearing in court and a director going to jail, so I am very wary.

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to Ronca

Understandably so, that's just terrible, so sorry you've had to go through that. I'm very warey but have to tell myself that I hear far more good stories than bad, but it is such a worry. I hope your son is settled and happy wherever he is now. As much as I want to look out of area I'm hoping it will still literally be half an hour away tops as that gives us a very wide area to look in, but lots of LA's x

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to Ronca

I understand what you're saying but I'm definitely not looking for 'settled and gone', settled and happy while it's still in my control to do that for him and he will still have lots of family time. As SpeedyH says below out of area for us can be 5 or 10 minutes drive in any direction! If he were to ever move that far away I would move to, he's my life and his happiness is my absolute priority. This move has been my biggest dread for 35 years and I'm determined it will be a successful transition hence finding the right place from the start, if its not right he doesn't go. But I understand that yes too far away we would not have the same input or insight so I won't allow that to happen. Thanks for replying x

BenjiB profile image
BenjiB in reply to Ronca

Finding the best placement is the most important thing. We are on the border with several LA’s. My son is less than 40 mins away at a residential college. There are 2 different LA’s between ours and where he lives. A perfect placement under a different local authority is better than one that isn’t right in the same local authority.

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to BenjiB

It certainly is. I really don't understand why they'd risk setting him up to fail in the first place as I've no doubt it would with what I've been shown, surely one successful move is better wherever that may be... really hard that it all comes down to money. However I'm feeling very motivated having had these chats and determined to fight for my son. Thanks you x

BenjiB profile image
BenjiB in reply to ljw1

It’s terrible and like you say purely about money. We spent almost 30k in legal fees and professional reports fighting the LA for our son’s residential college placement. It was exhausting and stressful. They save so much money when our kids are at home, they make things difficult. Does he have capacity to make decisions? If not you may want to look at deputyship so you can keep control of things.

Hello

My son is currently funded by another LA for residential college. I’m currently looking for supported living fir him in the same county he’s at college. We haven’t been told that the LA won’t fund this although they prefer not to. I’m expecting a battle!

The ridiculous thing is they’re counting your address as “his area LA” but your son is a person in his own right and an adult so ge should be able to choose where he lives and be funded by that authority if that makes sense!

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to BenjiB

Absolutely it makes sense, he should have as much right as anyone to choose where he lives. I'm totally expecting a battle hence my post as trying to arm myself with as much information as possible. Thanks for your reply and good luck to your son in finding somewhere x

HiHave you thought of trying a solicitor who specialises is care issues? Irwin Mitchell springs to mind. I don’t know how much it would cost but maybe your son would be able to get legal aid. If not try your local carers centre or citizens advice. Even if they can’t help you they might be able to suggest who can.

My son has recently gone into supported living and the company have 6 houses they run and all have gardens.

Good luck

They do fund out of area as my son was paid out of area for years so they can. If you can afford to pay for a consultant social worker they can help and support you. I have one that I use she’s excellent but see what you can find and come back to me if your interested.

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to Jofisher

Hi, that's interesting to know and definitely something I'll consider if I feel I'm not getting anywhere. Thank you x

Jofisher profile image
Jofisher in reply to ljw1

I was having such problems at a care home he was in and although I am a deputy for my son and I would strongly advise you do that as well the care home weren’t acknowledging this so in the end I paid for a consultant social and my god it was worth every Penny and my son paid as it was for him. You can apply to get a deputyship on the gov.u.k. Website you will need it for property and finance and health and well-being. I feel for you as I know only to well how stressful this can all be. Good luck

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to Jofisher

Thank you for that information that is so helpful. I will definitely look into both of these thank you so much x

Your welcome all the best and remember not to far away from you as you need to be able to pop in now and again preferably unannounced and you may want him to visit home sometimes as well.

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to Jofisher

Absolutely! Plan on meeting him for tea once a week and him coming back to stay atleast one weekend a month and possibly at his Dad's another weekend and his brother will visit him too! 😄

Jofisher profile image
Jofisher in reply to ljw1

Ah that will be fabulous for him and all the family

Hi all - what do you mean by 'settled and gone' please?

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to dora01

Hi, I think it was referring to that once our child leaves home that there will still be things we need to sort out for them and keep an eye on, it's not a case of they can get on with it as they have other support now, they will always need us to be there for them as long as we can be and to look out for them. That's how I read it anyhow x

Thanks. Our son 39 has just moved 50 mins away in new supported accomm. We are always sorting things out and keeping a close eye. He will always need the family.

ljw1 profile image
ljw1 in reply to dora01

Yes that's how we see it and why we want to find somewhere now so we can be sure he's happy and settled for when we are no longer around. We intend to see him as much as we can, but be good for him to gain some independence too which he is more than ready for. Hope your son is doing well in his new accommodation....such a major step x

StocktonLass profile image
StocktonLass in reply to dora01

Good to hear that he is safe and not too far away from you. It's good that he's has family near where he lives. So do I. I think it's important to stay near family and friends. It keeps us all still together in the same loop. Hope he has found his forever home.

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