I imagine I know what the advice will be if anyone has the time, energy or motivation to reply. Feel so unpleasant physically though and upset, any moral support or helpful advice will be so welcome.
Yesterday some very old friends called on their way back from holiday. I hadn’t seen them for 5 years as they live some distance away and I guess partly me not encouraging meeting up.
Anyway was a bit apprehensive but it went well and they stayed for 3 1/2 hours. I say “ went well” but my natural instinct is to be quite extrovert which I’m now very wary about.. adrenalising ...so although I tried to not do, expect I did.
Have felt awful since as you will know. Don’t know where to put myself physically and also very upset. Am so desperate to be understood and did send my friend a long email explaining about ME and she’d seemed sympathetic. However, although I said abit about it at the start I know I seemed “ normal” to them and so it would sound ludicrous to them if I told them how I am now.
My dilemmas are:
1. Do I follow this up with an email saying how the visit left me and that I should have asked them to only stay for 2 hours at the start? Then it paves the way for the future.
2. Any advice on accepting how horrible I feel now and the sadness again this illness causes?
I will feel better if I do email as I am desperate to be understood, honest etc but.. I know my friend previously has implied I’m abit health obsessed and it’s probably fuelling that. But.... isn’t being true to myself more important?
Oh dear me. As many of you I hope will understand, this goes way beyond yesterday’s visit but is the whole dilemma I find myself in constantly. Know being “ upfront” always to people is the honest way but very hard as I hate sounding “ me me me!” An irony really when I have ME!!!
Any thoughts very welcome!