Serious suicide attempt

[funnychocolate]

3 1/2 years ago I had a fight with my wife--not uncommon. I was 74 year's old and an alcoholic. I had been retired for about 6 years and felt worthless knowing in part, my wife stopped loving me maybe 15 years ago. Anyway, I bought a pint of vodka and sat in my car drinking most of it. Leaving a block from train tracks I stumbled up on the tracks know a freight train would soon me coming by. I lay down on the tracks and passed out. By all rights I should be dead. Evidently someone in their car and saw me. I woke up in the ER of the local hospital with a security cop sitting 5 feet from me. The next day I was transferred to a city hospital that at the time I didn't know, was going bankrupt. Needless to say I spent 8 days there with nothing to do all day but sit. There was may a total of 6 of us and there was no therapy. After 8 days I just told them I was leaving. To this day I never processed any of this and my wife never asked about it. I feel something maybe like PTSD think about that night God spared me which is the only thing keeping me going. Thanks for listening

[Nothing_but_books]

Your description of what went on in the hospital reminds me of my stay at our local hospital. I don't want to describe too much because I'll just trigger myself, but help was the last thing going on there. When a doctor or therapist suggests going there I lose any faith in their compassion or caring. This isn't what it should be, just what is.

[funnychocolate in reply to Nothing_but_books]

someone sent a message regarding clorazepam and how it was bad for me to take . if that person is still out there please contact me, thans

[Nothing_but_books in reply to funnychocolate]

Sorry, it wasn't me. You can talk to your pharmacist about potential problems with a drug. They're the specialist. Don't take a forum member's advice about what drug is good or bad for you anyway. Talk to a professional.