Trying to make friends

[OT4Kids]

I have been majorly depressed for over 2 years. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist and take 5 antianxiety/antidepressant meds, and have done a round of TMS plus a round of IV ketamine and nothing has made me feel better. I have been on sick leave from work for a year. My boyfriend just broke up with me and I have no friends.

[WishingMyselfWell]

I am so sorry to hear this. I know how you feel with the depression. I live with it daily and it’s something no one but you can understand. I’m 40, married, 5 kids. It’s a lot. They are my world but I fail this so much because of this disease.

[Sylvain-]

The "no friends" part is probably quite common among people with MDD. At least, this is my case too.

I can only send you my support and quote my therapist: "You need first to be friend with youself." Something undoubtedly easier said than done.

[HappilyEverAfter in reply to Sylvain-]

Amen to that! 🙌 Same goes for relationships. I'm still trying to heal from the 10 years of abuse I suffered from my ex and children's father. This is the first time in my life that I've been completely content and at peace with being alone. I can finally focus on healing and being the best mom to my boys.💛

[Sylvain- in reply to HappilyEverAfter]

I understand that. I'm lucky enough to have a wife and a child. But for as long as I can remember, I never had friends. It never seemed too difficult as, with social anxiety and a maladive shyness, I always felt better alone than in company.Unfortunately, I only realized too late that my life could have been different and more rewarding and succesful with an occasional bit of support and help from people I could trust.

[TiredOfItAl1 in reply to Sylvain-]

Your therapist is very right on the money there I would know cuz I have literally multiple personalities if you don't make peace with yourself you'll never be able to get anywhere which is the hard truth

[Bezel75 in reply to Sylvain-]

I never thought of that but I think you're right -- it is hard to have friendships with depression always there. It makes you not want to be with people. I have that problem.

[Sylvain- in reply to Bezel75]

Thanks, Bezel75, for your reply. It gave me some courage to answer a couple of messages here. This is a friendly and welcoming community. It's a shame part of depression consists precisely in refusing to be engaged with others even if it could be beneficial.

Re-reading my previous message above, I realize it is not only about having *friends*. But about any connection.

When you used to be alone, it became harder and harder to create social contacts. It is also why one should not wait until a grown-up to consult a therapist.

Even with help while a teenager or a child, I might not have enjoyed more human company. I might not have created some deep friendships. But at least I would have kept some contact so I wouldn't have been completely lost and lonely to face difficulties in my early adulthood.

[HappilyEverAfter]

Hi, thank you for sharing your story 😊

[HappilyEverAfter]

I'm really sorry you're going through such a difficult time. l know the feeling. I'm starting therapy soon. You mentioned that you're in therapy, has it been helpful at all?

[HappilyEverAfter]

Oh, yeah I also don't have friends and I've been single now for 3 years. I know it's hard when you first break up with someone but I promise it will get easier and easier as time goes by.

[Raelyn71]

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing. My mother suffered with MDD and so do I. It seems the older you get the worse it gets. We tend to isolate ourselves. Because we just don't have the energy to deal with anyone else's crap. Sometimes I feel like just hiding under the covers and sleep but then my body starts to hurt. Well, you know the rest. It's a viscous cycle. But I hear your pain and you are not alone. We are here for you and each other.

[Bumpky in reply to Raelyn71]

I agree it does seem to get worse the older you get. I would never tell my 30 year old niece that (she also suffers from depression). I had always hoped it would get better. Now that I can't work anymore the isolation is hard. How do you make friends in your 50's? It was a lot easier to do that when i was younger. Do you agree?

[downinthecrud in reply to Bumpky]

Yes, the isolation. The longing for someone to just hold you and say they love you and that everything will be alright. I so understand.

[Toddzen]

That sounds really painful. Break ups can be the worst. I did not respond to TMS but I did 12 Ketamine sessions and noticed improvement. It's expensive but it saved my life. I was totally hopeless and now I have periods of enjoying my life.

[Atocha]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this alone. I know the feeling, I’ve been depressed for 4 years. I was recently hospitalized for three weeks. Trying to recover every day with meds and therapy. It’s hard. Hang in there. You are not alone 🥰

[turquoisegame]

hi friends, I am new to this thread but am so grateful for this community because I have been struggling with depression for years. I tend to just go mute rather than trying to explain to ppl who aren't depressed what it's like... however being depressed and then coming out of it is very liberating. bouncing back is a good feeling! thankful for this thread

[CocoaBlanco]

I am with you. I have been on a downward spiral where I have friends, but I am too embarrassed to talk to them. I avoid phone calls, someone recently told me they heard I had died. Sometimes I wish I had.

[dms5252]

I am right there with you. You are not alone.

[Foxfur]

Ugg I’m sorry you are going through this

[jeffersonsam99]

Relationship broken is very worst and makes more pain in the heart. It is very hard to cure that pain. My small suggestion is doing some early morning breathing exercises and following some devotion methods for your inner soul peace. Prayers makes you stronger and better to overcome depression.