Just spend the night in hospital, with a hernia which needs to be operated on. As I am a carer to my husband I didn’t know which way to turn. Luckily the surgeon in the John Rattcliff is writing to her colleague in the Banbury hospital which will be much easier for me. All this in itself is not a major problem as it will be planned I can sort out cover. But it points out so many things that can happen. My daughter said to me today that I really must get more help and start looking after me!! But it may sound strange I don’t know what sort of help I should look for. I currently have a cleaner every two weeks. And a gardener to help with outside jobs. The way I see it , my husband of over 40 years needs to be looked after. I myself is am no longer a spring chicken, and wings keep dropping of. Anybody looking after someone with dementia out there, how are they helped? Love to hear any suggestions. Rienij 😳
Which way do I turn?: Just spend the night in... - Making Space
Which way do I turn?
Hey rienij70!
Sounds like u will probably benefit from having someone to share thoughts and feelings at this time as it is u who will be the main concern! Have u had the carers assessment done? From what I've heard from ur messages, anxiety is a bit of a companion to u?
How long will the hospital stay b and how long mite u be incapacitated rienij70?
Hi Lell1, hope you are ok and coping. The hospital stay should only be a day job. Doctor said could have some pain after for some time. Some people are in discomfort for a couple of months. In answer to your question no I haven’t had a carers assessment. Rienij
Hey rienij70
Same old same old here pet.
Maybe u could have a word with the GP regarding support when u come out of hospital? They are obligated to ensure that u r safe to b released n that includes well being. It may b that u could get extended care for hubby so that u don't need to do lifting n stuff? Have u got family n friends that could help out for a while, it's going to be limited as to what u can do for a while.
Sometimes u just can't 'manage' on ur own. This is where a carer's assessment comes in apparently, u can draw up a care plan for these events? I still haven't gotten around to sorting mine yet!!
The Neuro nurse said on her last visit, that we should think about future arrangements. But didn’t exactly say what sort. I suppose after caring since 2013 I feel just so tired, and act like a robot from one day to the next. All we get are leaflets after leaflets. One of our GP’s asked if I wanted a carers pack. I told her I have got 5 or 6 in the folder. So maybe you are right I probably need someone to come in and tell me what is out there to help us. It is funny but when I laid in that hospital bed and a kind nurse brought me a cup of tea, it felt like bliss. Rienij
Hi again! Know what you mean, I've got so many leaflets I could open my own recycling plant! N they don't help cos they just say go to this website or ring this number...so that they can send you a leaflet! They're excellent signposting materials, but they don't tell you that you'll find yourself on the ring road with no ramps!
You're not a well person, and you're not a spring-chicken, nor yet a professional carer or advisor! So, whilst your a little incapacitated, you could try to contact your local carers' group for an assessment and advice meeting? They can come to you, or you can meet out of the home (don't know the situation with hubby, with my dad he can still tell when people are talking about him!)! This is where you can reduce anxiety regarding what happens when you are not well. You can also discuss whether you need time out but would like someone to sit with hubby, or if you'd like to take a longer break etc. I know it sounds gruesome, but I've also sorted my dad's will and funeral whilst he's still able to understand and make informed choices.
You could also try a meaningful chat with family members, get them to at least agree to supporting you/hubby when situations like this pop up. That way you will know what is happening without the stress of organising cover etc. when you're already in a stressful situation? Everything takes on humungus proportions and seem that the world is just pushing and pushing at you, expecting more than you can give. In addition, the family will know what care plan is in place, and the carers will know where the family come in? Both will have contact numbers to sort things between them, but at the same time, in a way of yours and hubby's choosing?
Sorry, I've gone on a bit today huh??
Thank you Lell1, you haven’t gone on at all. It is all very useful information. I think it is my nature that I always try to cope. But it has been more difficult lately. Probably because I just have gotten so tired lately. But I will try and sort something out. Because something has to give. Again thank you and big hugs to you. Rienij 😘
Don't 'try' rienij70! That's giving urself permission to fail the task! U may be at that point where it will b u that 'gives'!! If u were driving and a rabbit ran out, or a bird flew towards u, u would make instant decisions and act on them. Pretty much what u need to be doing nw? The more tired u get the harder it will b, may include growing resentment that can result in isolation...the very last thing u need!
So, it's roll ur sleeves up, push ur chest out shoulders bak take a deep breath...and use the energy u have created, unless u make a start a change won't happen! Sorry if I sound mean, I cert wouldn't want to upset you.
I have told my OH again and again that I will need to have my op. He keeps forgetting. I told him he might have to go into respite care and he agreed, his words were I can’t stay here on my own. So that could possibly be ok. I will get in touch with the dementia care lady. And see were we go from here. Thank again Lell for your support. Rienij
Hi Rienij70
I'd 100% agree with lell1 that what you are probably missing in life is less the practical help and more having someone you can share some fun with and who will listen when you need to vent your feelings, or just talk things over.
It's lovely that your daughter is looking out for your well-being, but there's no point inventing help that you don't really need, and if there's nothing missing in your life of a practical nature, then don't trouble trouble, until trouble troubles you.
But every one of us can do with a little more of the lighter side of life. Are there any groups local to you that you'd be happy to join, or might just be curious about?
Lell1 has probably very cleverly spotted that you may be prone to anxiety and having things to distract you from that are always good.
Very best wishes with your hernia op. Aren't we lucky that it's all over with so quickly now? No lying in hospitals for weeks on end wondering if everything's gone to pot at home, and especially stressful when you have someone there depending on you. But that's not to say you should try to rush your recovery.
It will, I'm sure, be helpful if you can have your op in Banbury hospital rather than in Oxford and I hope that when the time comes, it all goes quickly, smoothly and in a trouble-free way for you.
Thank you Callendersgal. You are all right, I think being here everyday is a challenge and you become isolated. My daughter was here this afternoon just a quick coffee and a chat. She had told her husband that my husband can’t be left on his own safely anymore. He hadn’t realised that. And said but he talked about his days in the airforce and very interesting it was. He forgets that was 40 years ago.I told him I needed an op. And ten minutes later he asked where I had been. And what the doctor had said. Than the same question again a couple hours later. I am taking him with me tomorrow have a hair appointment. They will make him a coffee. Rienij 😀
Hey rienij70
Oh I'm sure plenty of us recognise the repetition, together with no concept of time, or anything that is not to do with the person involved! I also have to say everything at least twice so that he can process the words (pretty tiresome!) My dads memory is down to around 20 seconds...together with prompts. I sometimes feel that all I do is get on at him! Is your OH a sociable soul rienij70? If so, you could maybe get out to a reminiscence session, or arts and crafts or something like that? Also 'singing for the brain' sessions where u get to join in singing and some gentle physical activities to help coordination and balance? Sharing time with others in similar situations helps both of you?
It would be brill if you can get him to respite, they may be able to help with later motivation? If you give him a calendar with the day's he'll be away from home so that he can cross them off as they pass? Maybe your daughter could make it a part of the visit if she's able to go each day? Just some ideas that could help reduce the pressure on you?
Hi Lell1, oh yes all of the above. Also when I talk to him he nods, but when I say do you know what I am talking about he shakes his head. The dementia lady said singing for the brain wouldn’t be suitable for him. Don’t know why she thought that. Maybe because he is very unsteady on his feet. I don’t expect much help from my daughter they are always so busy. I am trying to get outside help, next week we are having a befriending person coming to see us. Also an outreach worker from the council is coming over to see us for an assessment. Had the letter from the hospital, with the referral to our local hospital and asking if they could expedite it. So wait and see. I hope to get him in a home for a bit. Just until I am capable again. Hopefully they are trained as my oh will say we are fine, and don’t need help. And later will say who were those people? Your dad is very lucky to have you looking after him. Rienij
Just seen your posts, it may help if yiu cintact your GP surgery and ask for a visit from the Care Coordinator attached to them, we had a visit and the lady was very helpful in that we now have a Care Plan for the future in place and she helped us with so many things and was a very good listener. For a long time we were unaware there was such a person until my son in law spoke to her at our Dementia Hub meeting.
Thank CUmbrialass, it sound like the lady from the dementia services. We have been send a care plan. Which entailed a lot of leaflets. An emergency number for someone to come out. But if it is planned than it doesn’t count as an emergency. There is once a month a lunch in a Dementia cafe. And phone numbers for the befriending service. Whom I have contacted and is coming to see us this week. The council are sending someone for an assessment no idea what it is all about. The dementia lady only works two days a week, and is coming back in 6 month. But left her number in case we need her earlier. It is a bit hit and miss. But I suppose they are charities. It was our GP who pointed us in their direction. There seems to be nothing else. But maybe the more people you meet, the more information you gather. I don’t know about you, but I get so tired, I don’t have the energy to fathom things out. Thank you for your support Rienij x
We have a local Carers group who keep numbers for an emergency, does your dementia lady know anything about them, I was given the information by our preactice nurse. We also have a support person for me but they too are a charity but at least someone to talk to. Know what yiu mean about being tired and my husband is still able to get out and about and not too forgetful thank goodness, tiredness seems a permanent state. Take care and hope you get something sorted. Hugs, we all need one.
Thank you. No there is no local group. I will see what this week brings. Maybe the befriending people will know more. Rienij x
Hi rienij70
I'm not really liking what I'm hearing from your responses. You sound as though you may be reaching breaking point? Your hospital appointment is planned, yes. But your psychological well-being will need supporting just as much, maybe more, as your OH needs support. We do tend to ignore this crucial part of our functioning by saying we can cope, even when people offer to help? And each week it gets harder. Then there's resentment sparking in all directions, add to this frustration and the need for support that doesn't involve even more effort on your part?
This is important Rienij, you need to get some time out to give you some head space to re-energise, and I don't mean just an hour, or a day. You need a break. Could you perhaps take a break and go away for convalescence whilst OH in respite? Get away from it all so that nothing is going to interrupt your recharging! Otherwise the break will not help!
That would be marvellous. We need a solution soon. As I had a letter from the hospital this morning. My appointment is next Wednesday! With a pre op assessment form included. Talk about expediting, will have to see what they say next week. Don’t know what they going to do about my IRN level. Had blood test last Thursday and again next week. It would be nice to be waited on for a change. Even to get a cup of tea made. You are right things are getting on top of me lately. I have been caring for him for the past 5 years now. I suppose I just get tired. And you know what, I will try to do something like that. Thank you Lell1? Big hugs to you 😘
'try'?? You can do it rienij! Easily book somewhere at this time of the year... Eastbourne, Brighton, wherever. Waking up knowing you don't 'have' to do anything, the day is your n OH being looked after. No cooking, cleaning, washing up etc. a for as long as you are there! U enjoy walking, plus bonus of the sound of the waves? Once u get carers assessment done, you may be eligible for carer's fund that can pay someway towards the costs for your needs. But in the meantime, take advantage of the naturally occurring period to look after your self!
I will 👍😘
How's things rienij70?
Had the lady from the council/carers here this week. She was brilliant I thought. She is sorting things out for me. Like what we are entitled to. Emergency tel. Numbers and looking into respite homes in the area. Promised to come back to me. Also had the befriending volunteers here. Not to sure about that. Got my appointment with the surgical team next Wednesday. But the most brilliant news this week came as a complete surprise. My daughter and her husband are going to buy a bungalow two up from us. There offer has been accepted so just hope everything will go through. Funny but it made me feel a bit more secure. I know they have to go to work, but it feels good. Ted is not so good. He gets more and more muddled up with things. I woke up last night sweltering went to the loo and nearly burned myself on the towel rail. He had turned the heating up full blast!! That is the state of affairs here. How about you how are things your end? Love Rienij x
Well u sound much brighter today Rienij! That's fab about daughter n son in law huh? Just knowing they are close by is a massive help to how u feel? Sounds as though you got things much more in hand this week? Oh dear, poor you! Have u got the boiler in a cupboard? U could try getting a child lock on it? My dad has the heating on all day, with me barrelling thru those warm moments at a great rate of knots!! Least he doesn't know how the boiler works, n probably wouldn't rem where it is! He is getting well grumpy /lazy these days.
Am dreading when I can't get out in the house and play in the garden. It's been so good just to have time, with my dad coming and sitting outside in the afternoons.
Lol he turns the temperature up in the hallway, as far as it will go. I should really check it when I feel hot. Grumpy and lazy I know very well. When I was in hospital the night nurse gave me the title of a book about dementia. I have just started to read it. It is called Dementia The One Stop Guide. By June Andrews. Because to be honest nobody seems to know much about it. Standard fraze is. We don’t know it is different for each person. Trying to understand everything, might make things easier. 😻
Put a mouse trap on the thermostat!! I took the thermostat off! Set it at right temp n take away the 'temp'tations!!
Books are ok as general guide, but no specifics are out there. They have an idea of y dementia happens, but not what causes it. Therefore, they can't guess how it's going to affect the individual?
The problem for people in our situation is knowing what behaviours are as a result of dementia, and which are just bloody kindness! One thing I have noticed is the growing self-centredness! And we can't even talk things thru!
Lol, like the idea of a mouse trap. The only thing is, when I multi task I probably forget and it gets me. It does actually say in the book that a lot of doctors and medical staff are not ofay with dementia. So far a lot of the anecdotes are supplied by the carers. (Husbands, wife’s or children) And I do recognise quite a bit. Ted wakes up very scared some nights. Problem is he doesn’t remember wether it was a bad dream or wether he was hallucinating. But turns on all the lights. Goes back to sleep wakes again, and thinks it is morning because it is light. From his perspective that is quite reasonable. I wake up knackered in the morning. At the moment he is still asleep. And I enjoy the peace and quiet. Hope you have a good day today. Take care of yourself. Rienij 😘
Id probably get snapped at as I went for the cheese (sweaty??) Having just been diagnosed with t2 diabetics, all cheese would be appreciated (but not allowed!)
The thing that winds me up is that although doctors generously admit that they r not au fait, we then get 'dementia nurses' who specialise/advise on all things dementia...how can that work when health professionals insist on asking the most redundant questions of people with dementia such as 'how've you been since I last saw you?'!!!
I hear Alfie sometimes in the night, muttering, singing, crying, or just making funny noises! If I left him in the morning he probably wouldn't get up! N that is irrespective of whether the blind is up or down!! I haven't slept well for years, so knackered is normal.
Does Ted sleep during the day? Alfie would snooze most of the day and still sleep all night!
Had a day at the seaside last week, really enjoyed it. But was really surprised when I got back, I thought I'd feel better. I didn't, I felt resentful! Still, I'd had a big ice cream and fish and chips and thoroughly enjoyed!
We seem to have a mirror image with our life’s. Yes he does nap during the day. So far my experience with anyone coming in to advice is beside saying how are you. Than ignore the person with dementia completely. They really haven’t got much idea. I had the fright of my life last Sunday morning. I had been in P/Af for a couple of days, which always leaves me drained. But anyway came back to normal and was relieved. Than went to the loo and peed lots of blood. I panicked as you can imagine. Phoned 111 as I am on warfarine. Had a emergency appointment straight at 11. And low and behold the doctor on duty was our old GP who left our practice 2 year ago. Well I hugged him he was so nice. And told him how much we missed him.Than I spend the next two hours trying to give them a sample, of course I couldn’t. Finally 4 hours later and back home. Got a sample in 4 dribs. Of course afterwards I peed for England. But the top of my legs are so painful I have trouble getting up and down. From all the squatting I did. Nobody told me that I could put that silly little pot in the loo. I can laugh now but wasn’t funny at the time. Waiting for the results just hope it is an infection and nothing nasty. The doctor asked about Ted and how I was coping. How I miss his support. Big hugs Rienij 😘
Hope things are getting better for you by now, yiu re having a bad time but really good news about your daughter, ours both live theee hours away. Don’t always say what is happening here as they would worry more. Biggest problem is they query the decisions we make despite the fact that I see to most things now and it is OH with the dementia. They don’t tell him as they know what he would say. They are both very good and there if we need them but would.benice if they would realise we need our independence whilst we can make decisions. Take car.
Hey there Cumbrialass! Know wot u mean, have a brother just 40mins walk away who has never thought to ask how things are...for either of us! I know they have their own lives, bt just to put the kettle on for u, or offer to sit for an hr or two so u can get a break, without having to ask them to help?
I was somewhat amused that ur reply to rienij70 instructed her to take car!! Kud imagine her driving like a whirling dervish, nowhere in particular but with a huge smile cos getting some 'me' time! 🤣
Always forget to read it through before hitting the button!!
Gud job it nt in charge of nuclear weapons!!
Hi CUmbrialass I am still hanging in there. Got 11 o’clock appointment to see the surgeon about the hernia. Hoping for a quick solution as I am very much a whoosh when it come to surgery. I know the feeling other people always know what is best. But do they sit here every day? NO. One lady told me that at all times I needed to stay calm, hold Teds hand and speak soothingling. Can you imagine doing that 24 / 7
I told her I was no .....angel. Hope you are ready OK. Take care Rienij 😘
What u like rienij70?? Do u ever wonder if maybe dementia is contagious??
Things r looking a little brighter for you at the mo? Hope u get on ok at the hosp, let us know how u get on...n whether u get a chance to get away for a couple of days? Found out ystrdy that it's possible to get a one off payment from carers' UK to get a holiday or something you Nd for the house? You just need to have completed the carers' assessment and answer 3 questions (and generally a sole carer will qualify!
Yes that is what the lady said last week. She is supposed to come back with all sorts of inf. but haven’t heard anything yet. Of to the Horton hospital soon. Appointment at 11. Will let you know how I got on. Hugs Rienij 😘
Hi Lell1, seen the surgeon very nice man. Is going to do an open surgery, normal waiting list he said 16 weeks but he is doing it ASAP. Have to come off the warfarine for 5 days. So I will get some notice at least. Was very cheeky. Appointment was right on time, in and out in 15 minutes so my daughter took me quick to the big M&S did some shopping for night wear etc. Phoned Ted he was all right told him I would go and pick up a new nighty. Had a coffee at leisure with a toasty. The brake was lovely and nobody any the wiser.God I feel naughty. But with a smile on my face. Hugs Rienij 😘😘
Love it! You have most certainly earned a sneaky little break. You little tinker! 😜 I did the same thing today too! Went to have retinopathy done....n treated self to lunch whilst I was out! Wot a pair eh? 🐵🙈🙉🙊!! Glad the surgeon is trying to get you in early, cuts down on time to be anxious. I like your response to the most patronising thing I've heard all week! I had a younger woman who had no idea what dementia is like to care for, and I once more recieved all the advice I've had before...minus the leaflet...but she's posting that to me anyways!!
Hi Lell1 we seem to live in a parallel world. I suppose we could write a book about all the things that happen. Looking at the nice shiny blue folder under the coffee table. Which was the first thing I received from the memory clinic. Full of leaflets. And each time a new person turns up we get more of the same and some extra ones in the post. A couple of weeks ago a doctor from the surgery rang me about reducing the times Ted could have a sleeping pill. So after a good heated discussion she relented and send via the chemist some more tablets. She also asked me if I needed some leaflets to help me out for future help!! I told her politely leaflets were the last thing I needed. I could probably send her some. Plus they don’t seem to read a persons notes. As Ted was damaged during a AAA operation and he couldn’t sleep after that I just wished that the leaflets were not the shiny sort. Than I could find another use for them lol.😜 well time for bed. Of to give Ted his pill. And hopefully tomorrow another good day. Nighty night. Hugs Rienij 😘
well that's one way of disposing of unwanted guests Rienij! Alfie has stopped his sleeping tablets as they weren't helping bowel activity but he still sleeps. Fortunately, not during such activity! Sounds like a finance review, rather than medication review? Alfie's inhaler has been changed to a cheaper one this time...but they did actually say in the letter that it was cost-cutting! Yep, that's understandable from a fiscal viewpoint, but what about effectiveness and people's health? They certainly don't always read notes, just a page on the computer as you walk in. They ask me what has been going on, n it's right there in front of them! For people like my dad, who I haven't lived with for over 40 years so don't know his medical history, they can't and shouldn't be asking questions about medical history. Why would those memories be unaffected by dementia??
Did you get a good nite? No soaring temperatures or disco lights? Do you feel a little more in control now that you've seen the surgeon and have a little more information? Are you gonna try to get out for a while again today? Ted managed fine yesterday? Even if you just walk around the block/park?
Hi Lell1, went for my NRI check this morning.And had some more S... thrown my way. Test result from urine sample back. No infection so that was good. But had to see Doctor. Nurse arranged it there and than. Doctor is sending me for testing up to the Churchill Hospital to check my bladder out. She thought the bleeding was probably caused by the warfarine but she was obliged to send me for the camara test. I am now really panicking. Thinking about leaving the bottom half of my body behind somewhere. It is just one thing after another.I hang the phone upon my sister. When I told her I expected some support from her. And the stupid woman said. If you loose your bladder it is not worth living. So I said thank you very much and hang up on her. I really don’t understand some people. So hoping and praying it is the warfarine causing it. Otherwise things are peaceful at the moment. Hope you and Alfie having a good day. Going in the back garden for a bit, Ted is sleeping in his chair.Hugs and love Rienij 😘
blinkin eck Rienij! Not so much a shower as a downpour eh? Positive thing is that they are investigating things. Makes more worry and concern short term, but gets it sorted quicker if needs be? Have you been within the last 3 years? Don't leave bits of body laying about, they'll only send a leaflet out to see who the owner is/if they know that they left on the bus or something??
Was sister taking the p? You can do without people implying that without a bladder you are not worthy of life! And how does she know this? The worst case scenario would mean maybe a neobladder or stoma...either way, life goes on! Having dealt with all the changes ted has been going thru, you can cope with this! Could be a kidney infection, or you need to use some kind of antioxidant...could be nothing! So, don't waste energy worrying about something that is speculation as yet. If you do need to worry, expend energies doing something positive! Maybe something you've wanted to do for a while, like water skiing or astrophysics course? Or just going out into a field and screaming as loud and as long as you need to!
Alfie has gone to his befriending group that is every 2 weeks for 2 hours, so I get time to myself for a bit (although I also use this time to do things like the housework cos he doesn't like the noise! I have asked the vacuum to tone it down a bit, but it doesn't seem to understand what I mean? Silly vacuum!) Today I've started taking things into the shed to store for winter, with encumbent repairs/cleaning, so has been quite productive.
Thank you you are a tonic. The Warfarine nurse rang this after. Lowered the dose 5 of the days as the INR was high. She explained that if there is a bleed the warfarine will make it worse, of course because it doesn’t clot so quick. As you say it could be nothing will have to face the indignity of it all. Like yesterday the consultant made me stand in front of him with skirt and knickers below my what’s it. I did try to keep stomach in. He was an Indian gent. So I thought his wife is probably on the big side too. Lol so I coped. Haven’t done much today. Ordered my groceries on line. And had a chat with a neighbour. You have given me lovely support. To be honest my sister hasn’t much of feeling for anyone but herself. Even my mother used to say that. Still I rather be me. Maybe a softy ( in the head as well) think I better start some tea on the go. Glad you had a good day. One day at the time is all we can do. Big hugs Rienij 😘
being a woman is not what it's cracked up to be eh? Glad the news doesn't seem so glum. Alfie is back and got his nose in his dinner, so will be coughing soon for the next 2 hours...v loudly! My dinner is almost done so will go and forage. So long as you weren't naked....you haven't frightened anyone. Families are the pain in the **** that we cannot avoid knowing! Luckily we no longer find ourselves all living in the same street!
We just had our tea. Thought about having fish & chips but thought better off it. To greasy. You can choose your friends but not your family. It is not the first time we had a fall out. She is the oldest one and always was a know all. Anyway have decided whatever it is , I will have to deal with it. Could be run over by a bus. But I will have a few sneaky treats. I deserve it this year has been real shitty so far. So it can only get better. Thanks Lell big hugs Rienij 😘
Hope things improve for you soon, sometimes life gets overwhelming. I try to have a quick ten minute walk round the block on my own each day. Don’t know what ‘me’ time is anymore.
So do I, it really isn’t funny anymore. 😘
Laughable when they tell Carers to look after themselves, just about what it is. Take care.🌻
Thank you 😊
What is this one off payment and do you have to have a Carers assessment, not had one yet only 29 page booklet to fill in (had meltdown when she told me that)
I had someone from carers Oxfordshire through the council. They asked me questions and apparently the council pays about 200 pound a year, if you are eligible not means tested. Mind I haven’t heard anymore. Just send an email to her asking if she has worked through the list she made when she was here.
How are things with you now Rienij70,hope things went ok at hospital.
Hi CUmbrialass, it has been a few turbulent weeks. Was diagnosed with bladder cancer, and had to have more scan. But this afternoon I was told, that the lymph nodes are clear as are kidneys and lungs.Are going to have an operation to remove the tumour. But luckily it hasn’t spread. So good and bad news. Also I was flabbergasted as the council has awarded me £ 300.00 as a one of payment to spend on my wellbeing. For being a carer. Hope you are ok. Xx Rienij
At last a bit of good news, makes a change. Do take care, thinking of you.
Thank you xx
Hi Cumbrialass
As I understood it, if you have completed a carer's assessment, you may be entitled to a one off payment as a result of your role as a carer. The money can be used to go towards something that you need and/or a break. You have to apply for it as your request is then sent to a panel who will decide (based only on 3 questions) whether you're one of the lucky ones! If you are a lone carer, the chances are pretty good. You are only allowed one payment each year, and you need to apply each time. This can be done through the carers' association.
In addition, I have been trudging thru internet sites, and there are a few charities out there that can offer fiscal support (based on your needs) if you meet the qualifying criteria? Try going on dementia Uk, or alzheimers' society sites, there are some pointers there. I know once again it is down to us to find this support, but if you qualify it's worth trying?
Hot tip! Apply well in advance of when you need it just in case! Plus, bonus questions for 10 points...in 2 letters, who deserves support (only 2 possible answers!)
Not heard anything yet and don’t expect to really, they seem to Rhine if yiu are coping get on with it, should,have spent our cash!
Seem to think, still don’t check before pressing button