How long?

My mum has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's but we've known there was something wrong for a while (over 12 months), it just didn't have a name it does now. She is 66 years young. She's given up driving because she things it's the right thing to do but can't be sure!! We know as we look after the keys now. No stage given or time limit just a slow slide we were told. But it doesn't actually give us many answers. I want to know should I get tested to see if I have gene that may make my chances of getting it higher, should my mum? My memory is appalling and I won't be working for much longer. I'm intending to retire as soon as possible especially if my life is going to be cut short by a disease I could have before I'm actually due to retire. My mum is at the stage where she can still look after her self but won't cook or clean. The telephone is a challenge...she still remembers to feed the dog but is never sure if she has had breakfast or not. She tires easily and can nod off at the table, just want to know how long it will be when she'll forget who I am and who the man who loves her my dad may not be able to cope any longer. Are there any good support mechanisms out there to help her enjoy life to the full?? Happiness I think is the key to her future.


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9 Replies

  • Hi sorry to hear about your mum. What I can gather the decline is different for each person, I know that doesn't answer your question. Enjoy her while she is still here. Don't worry about your own chances of getting it. Live life for today, and enjoy every precious moment. ☺️ Rienij

  • Scary huh? As they don't know what specifically leads to any dementia they certainly won't be able to say that it is, or that it isn't genetic. You propably have hundreds of questions that won't have answers until the time comes, we all do. If your memory has always been appalling, as mine has, then this is no indicator of dementia. Dementia is so much more than forgetfulness. It's a dreadful disease with no cure, and very little support for the carers. Nonetheless, there is support for the individual, but you need to chase it, it won't come to you! Benefits, care services, social groups, exercise classes, befirending groups. It will depend on where you live (which always stirs my emotions!!). If you start to think in the ways that you are thinking about your own mortality, it will crush you. Supporting your dad to support your mum is all you can do, and it won't always be straightforward but you can be involved. Get your mum to make her wishes for care and beyond known asap as there may come atime when she will be unable to make these decisions. If you've ever read harry Potter, dementia is the equivalent to those darn dementors!

  • And 25% of council tax, you have to chase that too.

  • Hi Philip I am chasing that up at the moment. Apparently they have send a letter to our GP. To verify, cope of the attendance allowance is not good enough. Makes me laugh as we are told we can't make an appointment in August due to staff shortages. Try not to need medical help in August😕 By the way how are you? Behaving yourself?

  • It may not be a great way to start my reply to you, but my father Ron just died from Alzheimer's Disease at the age of 94. We are now certain that he had symptoms for over eight years (this is around 86 years old) which our late mother covered-up for. He was diagnosed six years ago and lived on his own with support for three and a half years until it was evidently unsafe to do so.

    The Alzheimer's Society locally (East Surrey) has excellent support services including day centres and befriending and very importantly advice and support for carers.

    Ron never accepted that he had dementia which was a significant difficulty for the family. He never forgave us for selling his car to prevent him driving for example. We rented a monitoring system for his flat which helped us know where he was. It also made it obvious that he was up and about regularly throughout the night, just wandering from room to room, which would explain his extreme tiredness and was the main reason for deciding that he needed to go into care.

    This is a difficult illness and I am sorry for you and your family. Early diagnosis and treatment (such as there is) is hugely important.

    Good luck!

  • Is it hereditary ? Thanks for the message

  • Hi your mum is very lucky, having family to care for her, I was diagnosed in December 2014 but it was there a couple years before, I stopped driving too, I gave it back before they took it lol.

    I live alone with my Dementia but my wife calls in some days so it keeps me going, it must be scary in some ways plus it could go on for lots of years yet lol and I'm not looking forward to old age lol, I'm 58 ATM and trying to be positive, oh the joy lol.

    I'm not allowed a cooker lol but there's a great Chippy down the rd, good luck with everything and to all carers Thank you.


  • We have a support group every week run by NHS and it help us get through the week.

  • I was diagnosed with Altzeimers about 5 years ago and have been prescribed Aricept aka Donepezil. I dont feel that I am getting any worse and I am much better when I am with people. I also read a lot which I think is important. I am also on medication for high cholestorel and high blood pressure but do not know if there is any connection. Live goes on and is very good!

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