New to writing a blog need advice please

help! I could use some advice my niece got married so I let myself have a good time figured I would have the next couple of days to recoup from all the pain I was going to have. well right after the reception was over my father in-law who I loved very much dyed. how can I get through the next week without showing how much pain I'm in, I don't want any attention to me the rest of the family needs it

4 Replies

  • I'm so sorry to hear about your father-in-law, you must be devastated. Grief is a major trigger of auto-immune symptoms so no doubt you'll be feeling the repercussions over the next few months. I think that your family will be so overcome with their own grief that maybe they won't notice how ill you're feeling. i had a similar experience two years ago where the bereavement made my Lupus very active. All you can do is keep taking your pain relief every four hours (paracetamol/brufen) so that when you're called upon for support your symptoms may be a little easier to deal with. You obviously want to do all you can to alleviate your families pain but the best thing you can do is look after your health so that you're well enough to help when the initial shock is over. The grief will echo on for a long time yet and when everyone looks back at this awful time now they probably won't remember how you appeared to be at this time. Just keep offering hugs and keep making cups of tea. It probably sounds so little in the grand scheme of things but it's the little things that mean the most at times like this. Maybe a trip to your GP too wouldn't go a miss, they may suggest giving you something to get you through. Also I'm sure your husband wouldn't mind you mentioning that because you loved your father-in-law so much, you're concerned that the grief may trigger some symtoms. Explain that you want to be well to help him through this time and that you may need to rest more than usual.

    You must look after yourself, my Lupus is at it's worst now bacause I ignored all the symptoms (i didn't feel I deserved to think about my health) and it's a long road back to recovery. Offering my deepest sympathies to you and your family.

    Take care

    Alison x

  • Take the advice Alison has given you

    Take care


  • thank you for your kind words and I'll try my best with your advice

  • I agree with Alison. You need to look after yourself too. Thinking of you. x

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